Triggering: Great...

[Sunlight.]

OK, so one of my best friends is a guy...and I like him like crazy. He said we'll wait and see what happens between us but I know nothing will. I don't want to like him like this.

He said we could be besties with sexual benefits and I said your just using me. He replied saying he wasn't.

I love him like anything but I don't want to.

We were on webcam last week and we were like flashing each other our body.

What should I do?

[PlayingPretend]

Hurr.

To be honest, any relationship with sexual benefits, when it boils down to it, is about using the other person. When I say "using," I don't necessarily mean it negatively. I simply mean it in the literal sense, because in the end, it is sex with no strings attached (or sexual activity) and in the end, it's gaining a sense of physical pleasure without all the "complications" (translate to "work" or "effort") of a proper relationship.

Though I won't entirely discourage a friends with benefits relationship, in this case, I do. The number one problem that happens with people who have friends with benefits relationships is that one person ends up falling hard for the other - and the other doesn't feel the same. This leads to a lot of unnecessary tears and heartbreak. This is something you can prevent in this situation, because the dynamic has already happened. You have strong feelings for him, yet you realise he most likely does not feel the same for you. Chances are, if you go ahead with it, you are only going to get hurt.

It's not going to be worth it having sex or engaging in sexual acts with someone who does not return your strong affinity. What happens if he breaks off the friends with benefits relationship on the basis of meeting a girl he develops feelings for? What happens if he breaks it off in general? What happens when you two might be getting sexual with one another one night, yet on another night, he's with someone different or it doesn't even have to go that far... what if he's flirting around and courting another girl whilst still getting sex/sexual gratification from you?

So though he might not look at it as using you, in the end, that's all it is. It's two people screwing around with each other. Fucking, in my opinion - not sex, not making love, but fucking. And if one person is already in love with the other, or already in serious like, well, then you have a recipe for disaster.

Honestly, I'd stop acting sexually. Sure, it happened once (maybe more than once), but the past is the past and what's done is done. You need to worry about yourself in the now, and you need to take care of yourself. Honestly, I'd tell him that you can't have that sort of dynamic. Tell him that for you, it really is all (all as in a relationship) or nothing (nothing as in remaining friends and only friends) and he can take it or leave it. If he truly is your best friend, as he claims, then he'll understand it and it's not going to matter that you don't want to have the sexual benefits. If he gets angry or does something even more drastic, well, then I guess you've proven his comment about not using you wrong.

Best of luck.

[Pelios]

I don't think it's a good idea for the following reason.
Usually one party becomes too emotionally attached in this case it seems like it is you. You already like him and want a proper relationship with him and him on the other hand just wants to mess around with you. If he wanted to continue and see if there could be something else other than just friends with benefits he would already have told you, it gives him sexual privileges without commitment.

[alexalauren]

The best thing to do is cut off the sexual part of your relationship. You two can always just be friends, but honestly if you're not going to be together then the physical stuff won't mean as much and will end up hurting you in the end.

Truthfully, this boy is using you for sexual things. If he really cared about you, then he would either refuse to do physical things with you outside of a relationship, or be in a relationship with you before doing anything.

You may end up becoming very attached to him through doing these sexual things whether you intend to or not and that's not healthy, because you know that he doesn't feel the same way.

He may still be a great guy who you want to stay friends with, but unless you're going to be in a relationship with each other, then the sexual stuff should stop.