I want to be wanted by someone I want

[CanadaCraig]

Hi Everyone!!

I hope you're having a dandy day.

"I want to be wanted by someone I want!" - CanadaCraig

Can you relate to that?!

All of my life - I have been attracted to people who don't want me. [In the way that I wanted them - and needed them - to want me]

And I have had people in my life who wanted ME that I didn't want. [In the way THEY wanted ME - and needed ME - to want THEM]

It's all quite frustrating. Even now. The guy I consider to be my 'best friend' loves me - and I love him. And that's great. But he's straight - and I'm - well - not so straight!! lol So that's that. But it sure is frustrating at times. I haven't been with anyone in any sexually intimate way in YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS. And for such a touchie/feelie guy - that's really difficult. And it really hurts. It makes me feel really bad and sad and so on. And it makes me wonder sometimes if I'm being punished for something. I know a lot of truly not-so-nice people in this world - and many of them are cuddling up to someone at night - and have someone to hug and to kiss and to have sex with. Why should they be so lucky?

It makes me wonder - that's for sure.

[NOTE: I edited this entire paragraph OUT!!]

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!!

[StabMyHeartLover]

I'm sure they have some gay clubs their, maybe your just not looking in the right places man.

[Work_In_Progress]

Gay clubs, just like clubs that is assumed for straight people, is the very worst place to find someone genuine. Sure, at a gay club everyone is open, but just like in clubs for straight people, you'll find some really insulting and dirty people, or at the very least GOOD people that are at their worse, or just ACT at their worst.

Craig, I totally relate to you. I've always thought about how the not-so-nice people(as you put it) have someone to cuddle up to in the end, and why not me? I used to be ignorant about how having random sex with strangers and friends hurt myself and others, but it's been awhile since I've stopped and I've honestly made myself better as a person in so many ways, yet I am left alone where others clearly would not deserve any form of good company. I do feel like I am being punished for past mistakes and feel like it won't be over anytime soon.

I'm sort of curious about your deleted paragraph :P but I'm sure you had a reason.

[*~Circus Clown~*]

Hey Craig.

First of all, I'm sorry that your struggling with love and relationships. Like you said, for being such an understanding and emotional person, it isn't easy.

I think everyone, at some point in their life, feels like they aren't wanted by the right people. Craig, are you trying to put yourself out there the best that you can? Have you ever thought about a social networking site? I don't know about Canda but I know in the US they have plenty of sites to meet singles in your area. It may seem odd and far fetched, but I just saw a commerical the other day. It said that more relationships are started from online dating sites then meeting in clubs, parties, coffee shops and schools combined. (Those may not have been the 4 they had but it was pretty close.) Times are changing. People perfer to meet online because hey, if they get shot down, well, they never really met the person in the first place and they can move on to their next match.

Truthfully, all I can say is that your not alone in your feelings. I do recommend trying the sites. They can't hurt, ya know? Why not try?

Take care Craig.