How can I get to know him better?

[alexalauren]

There is this guy I like and it seems like there may be a chance for him to like me too. He is attracted to me from what I've heard from my friends who have talked to him, he just wants to get to know me better before starting anything - which makes complete sense. He has told my friends that I seem like a really cool person, he just doesn't feel like he knows me very well. He has told me that he wants to get to know me better too.


Anyway, do you have any tips on how I can help the process? I know that I have to be myself and we've been hanging out in groups lately, generally with his best guy friend and my two best girl friends so it's been easy to do that.


He's online every once in a while, but he does a sport over the summer and is generally not on the computer, we do text as well, but I don't know if I should wait for him to talk to me, or if I should talk to him first. I don't want to seem to open by talking to him all of the time, but I don't want to seem closed off because I'm always waiting for him to talk to me. We can hang out in groups more, but it can be hard to find a time where everyone is free.
I would be willing to hang out with just the two of us, but I would rather wait until we felt more comfortable around each other before we did and I would rather have him ask me.

What do you think I should do?
(write as many tips/ideas/stories as you'd like - I'll take anything!)

**I've never had a boyfriend before, so this isn't my area of expertise (I'm 16)

[Pelios]

Hi
First of all if you really want to get to know him more I would suggest you to go to a café its better if you two go alone because it gives you a more personal level to ask questions and just be yourself. If you don’t want to go because you fear of going alone with him you can always go to the mall there are more people there but you can also talk. Another thing to get to know him more is hang out with his friends, hanging out with his friends may give you more insight into the type of person he is, after all you are the people you surround yourself with.

[PlayingPretend]

In regards to the texting, I'd recommend going 50/50 whilst you're still learning what his texting style is like and from there, you can gauge what's appropriate for your friendship and what isn't. For example, when it comes to texting my best friend, I tend to be the one who texts first, as he's not the sort of person to pick up the phone and send a text without much reason to (he does so very rarely ), yet when he responds, we can often spend hours texting one another back and forth. There have been days when he's been completely free and we've spent the whole day speaking with one another. When it comes to my boyfriend, however, we tend to take it more 50/50. Because he's eight hours ahead, he'll often send me a wake-up text, which might start a morning conversation. Sometimes I'll send him a wake-up text or I'll write him a Facebook message to wake up to! We'll send "thinking about you" texts yadda yadda, and we take turns with who sends what first. But I'll admit it... I probably text first in a lot of cases, but that's simply what my texting style is like. Many of my friends have adjusted to it. There are a couple who don't appreciate my constant texts and because I've learned that they prefer to initiate conversations when they're free, I hang back. It really does depend on the individual's texting style and you learn this by trial and error.

I'd honestly suggest that maybe you text him first for a couple days, then go without. See if he texts you. If he doesn't, then resist from texting him but perhaps send a text the following day. Continue with this, or a similar, pattern and gauge his behaviour. If, when you text first, you end up having decent conversations, then it's safe to say he appreciates your texts. But if his responses are short and seem uninterested, then perhaps he's busy, prefers to text first or maybe he doesn't prefer texting at all. What about speaking on the phone with one another? My boyfriend and I found that connecting on the phone brought us a lot closer together and allowed us to connect on a deeper level than merely speaking over the internet. It allowed us to hear each other's voices (we weren't using Skype at the time) and we could lay in bed comfortably speaking for hours on end. We both began feeling more comfy with phone calls than texts, not to mention they were much less expensive.

In regards to spending more time with him in general, I'd recommend hanging out with him one-on-one. You say you've done a lot in groups, which is a great way of becoming comfortable around someone and it's also a good way of casually getting to know whether or not there's potential (either for friendship or for a relationship), but now it's time to take the next step. If you're worried about going from a group of five to a group of two, then maybe you could go out one time with his best guy friend, him, you and one of your girlfriends, and then maybe another time with just him and his best guy friend (if your girlfriends are aware of how you feel for him, I'm sure they'd understand). From there, you can ask him to hang out one-on-one. What you do really depends on your comfort level. Some people really like being able to sit down and talk, which is when going to a cafe, having a meal or even taking some time to sit in a park or a nearby local attraction (something serene, maybe a lake, a natural wood, etc... not sure what's in your area ). Others prefer to have something to do.

Personally, when I'm first meeting up with someone one-on-one, I like to do something active. I met both my boyfriend and my best friend online. With my boyfriend, seeing as he was jet lagged after a 10-hour flight, we took a quiet walk down the street and snuggled whilst looking up at the stars. There was some conversation, but conversation really started to open up in the following days whilst we were out and about doing a lot of touristy activities. When my best friend and I first met up, we hung out on the beach and from there drove to get lunch and from there, we spent some time hanging around downtown and going into different shops and walking about. Now, we're comfortable enough with each other so that we can chill at the house, go see a movie or do something active whilst still being entertaining to one another. It's the same with my boyfriend. Studies have also shown that it's a lot easier for teenagers to speak to their parents when they're doing something active with them, even if it's just doing the laundry, so I imagine the same would work for two teens who have feelings for one another.

But it's really up to you as for what you want to do and feel comfortable doing. Either way, however, I'd casually text him one time and see if he wants to hang out. Maybe there's a movie you'd both like to see or maybe there's a local even going on? It is summer, so a lot of places are putting on fairs or other local attractions. Even if they're small, it might give you something to do whilst still giving you the opportunity of getting to know each other a lot better! Best of luck!

[StabMyHeartLover]

Make the first moe & text him first.
Just try to hang out in free time that you both has. ^_^
Don't be afarid of making the first move now.
It sounds like he likes you so he's not going to reject you.
IF you don't feel comtable alone with him try getting some of your friends to go with you & some of his friends when yall hang out ^_^.