Do I Love Him?

[natcat]

My bestfriend has liked me since grade 9.

I've had a crush on him at different points, but it's never been the right time to pursue anything.

I had a boyfriend for 2 years .. so we just remained best friends, and he surpressed his feelings and tried to move on.

I never want to be more than friends, never thought we should be ... until I saw him with his prom date and I was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness that this girl wasn't me .. and I was really jealous. I thought over how I was feeling, and decided I did truly like him. And I told him that. I told him I liked him that is, not the jealousy part.

We tried to hang out as something more than friends, but it was really uncomfortable and weird for me. Maybe because we've just hung out as friends for so long, I don't know. It was just too weird to continue, so I told him I didn't think I could move passed the friends stage. I really, really hurt him, but he's forgiven me and whatnot. Although he's not over me, he says.

Tonight was our graduation. At the after party, he was with this new girl .. and once again I felt really jealous. I DON'T KNOW WHY I FEEL JEALOUS, IT'S REALLLLY BOTHERING ME. He wants to have a discussion with me tomorrow because I guess there's a lot of unspoken things between us.

It's hurting me a lot because I don't know why I'm feeling like this ... I don't know how to move on from being his friend, and I don't know if I can ... at the same time it's hurting me a lot to see him with other people.

Ugh. Why am I feeling like this??

[*~Circus Clown~*]

Hey there Nataile.

Unfortunately, no one on this site, or in the world, can tell you if you love someone or not. Those are serious, strong, and personal feelings that only you know if your having. Because you two have been such close friends, and I'm guessing he's been with you through a lot, you may get jealous when you see other girls with him. Maybe your afraid he will get close to them and forget about you. Its also possible that deep down, you view him as a fall back. He surpressed his feelings once, so maybe you expect him to keep doing that, and if you can't find someone, well - theres always him. It could be something your doing subconsiously, and no one can blame you for that. But it would explain why you get jealous everytime you see him with other girls. He can't just wait around for you forever sweetie.

Relationships are really hard. Trying to make a friendship more then just that, can be extreamly difficult. I suggest that you really sit down and think it through. Is being a girlfriend to him more important to you, or is being a friend what you ultimately want. And yes, you may hurt him in the process. He may not be happy with his choice, but it seems like he loves you and he will stand by you while you figure it out.

Lastely, when he says theres a lot of unspoken words, to me, that sounds like he might explain just why he feels this way about you. If it is, take all that into consideration before making your decision. And, you should tell him that you really are upset over hurting him, that you want to figure out what is the best road to travel on and you just need a little time to figure it out. It will comfort him to know that your thinking about it.

Love is tough. Friends are tough. But its true that some of the best relationships were started as friends. Take care in making your decision, Natalie. Stay strong, you can get through this. If you need to talk just click on the try me link at the bottom of the page.

Take care.

[StabMyHeartLover]

Its casue your jeosue & your not use to not having him at your will.
Its somthing you'll slowly get over & use too.