How can i gain my Boyfriend's Trust?!

[LauraOoX]

I have been with my Boyfriend for over a year and a half now and he doesnt tust me anymore! Last summer i lied to him about who i was texting and said it was a friend when really it was this boy who i had been friends with for years and my boyfriend didnt want me to have anything to do with this friend because he didnt like him. But i was the type of girl who just didnt want to cut someone off for no reason and i don't like falling out with anyone. But i know what i did was wrong and im sorry for it ever since! i wont ever do anything like that on him again!
My boyfriend says that he has forgive me but it still hurts him and i understand it would hurt him but he doesnt trust me at all! He would be annoyed if i texted my friends or he doesnt want me to go out with friends. He doesnt even want me to get a bus because he doesnt trust me and if i do any of this he gets annoyed and we always have a fight! He thinks that im just going to go with any boy i see and he thinks that i will cheat on him! and i no myself that i would never do that, i never have and i never will!
i really dont know what to do anymore because i really dont want to loose him! i just want to know how i can gain his trust and how he can trust me again? im scared of it getting worse and i dont want him to control me!

[TheLittleNinja]

Hey there!!

I'm glad you realised your mistake in lying to your boyfriend - but remember that's the only mistake you made!

I think that you should talk to your boyfriend about why you did, how you feel about it now, and all that sort of thing.

As long as you are honest with your boyfriend, there's nothing more you can really do. He shouldn't have to know everyone you talk to, he shouldn't control who your friends are, he should control which friends you meet up with. What you did, it wasn't the smartest thing in the world, but it's not like you were cheating on him either - and he should accept that you made a mistake and move on.

You guys have done well to stay together for a year or so, but after that amount of time, relationships can sometimes need working at to keep them alive. I would sit down and talk to your boyfriend about everything that has happened, talk about how YOU feel about it, and talk about how HE feels about it all. If he still can't accept that you have your own friends, and your own life - then he really isn't the right guy for you anymore!

ALL my friends are male, bar one female friend. Seriously! So any boyfriend I get has to put up with the fact that all my friends are male - I'm not ditching my friends for anyone. As they say - "Mates before Dates".

I hope this helps. And Good luck

[Jaguar]

What I'm very concerned about is his insecurity, lack of trust and controlling behavior. Your bf will eventually turn abusive. He's already starting to psychologically abuse you by isolating you from your friends. The more he possesses you, the more possessive he will become. Once you're completely isolated, he will very probably start physically abusing you. No amount of trying to please him or convince him that you're not running around will ever work.

I'm sorry to be so negative, but I've seen this so many times. If you're so much invested in him, you might try dragging him to counseling, but I doubt very much if he's going to be willing to change anything. I think you only have one choice and that's to leave him. It's only a matter of now, later, or much later.