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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Sixella Offline
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Never wants to spend time with me - August 20th 2010, 03:12 PM

So me and my boyfriend of two years recently went on a camping trip together for four days. We also went with my sister, her boyfriend and my dad. Things were pretty good and we both had a lot of fun. We fought once but it was little and we got over it.

It's been about 7 days since then. The first three days we didn't talk at all until we finally made plans again. We ended up hanging out after I got off work at 6 to 12. But every single day before that (for those seven days) he has hung out with his best friend. They saw eachother every single one of those days. So I feel as if I gave him space to catch up with his friends. Now it's today and I know he knows im not doing anything. I work tomorrow and the next day so he has those two days to hang out with his best friend again. So I figured maybe he'd ask me to hang out..just becuase other than that one day we havn't. I hate feeling needy. I dont want to ask him to hang out becuase I feel like he'll just feel pressured to say yes and becuase I feel like im ALWAYS the one asking. He said he just had a doctors app today but I acn garentee that he's hanging out with his best friend after.

A lot of my close friends live far away from me so it's hard to get together with them. I feel like im just sitting at home the majority of the time doing nothing until he finally asks to hang out.

Also when we do have plans to hang out we will till about 12, and then he'll hang out with his best friend again. I know that this doesn't seem wrong but it just feels like if we didn't have plans he'd already have them. Or something. It just feels insulting.

Also, I have a mood disorder and anxiety. Sometimes it can be really hard hanging out with me becuase for no reason i'll get sad, or upset and then we'll fight. Im trying to work on it but I think he's just sick of my moods, and I dont know what to do. I was on medication but I was experiencing side effects so stopped taking it.

Sorry if there are a lot of typo's. Please respond back.

ps. We've been dating for two years.
   
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Shaytun Offline
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Re: Never wants to spend time with me - August 21st 2010, 01:31 AM

Well too be honest it sounds like you've been spending a lot of time with each other, previous to these anyways. You've been dating for two years, do you see it going any where?
If he doesn't want to see you for nearly a week it could be he just wants to see his friend and take a break from how much time you've spent together. If he continues to avoid seeing you and you feel the need to ask all the time I would suggest speaking with him about it.
If it's not going any where clearly he can't be ready for a permanent situation. You might want to reconsider things.

Again, speak with him before these thoughts come to you. Don't feel stressed out about things. Speak with him about how you're feeling then by your his response react accordingly.


I am the stone that the builder refused.
   
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Re: Never wants to spend time with me - August 22nd 2010, 04:35 PM

I've experienced too much time with someone, and not enough time with someone.

When you spend too much time with them, it is easy to pretend you're busy or hang out with other people just to get away. However I'm on your side, because I've experienced that more ... me and my ex hardly hung out unless i arranged it, to the point where we hardly saw each other. If I left it to see if he contacted me, nothing would happen.

So contact your boyfriend one more time, and say "Ring me when you want to meet up." Then that will be his test. If he doesn't ring, maybe you have to think about where your relationship is going. If he rings but arranges to see you in a couple of days time, at least he's rung.

And in the end, telling him everything you've told us is probably the best way forward. Sometimes guys aren't great at picking up hints So just tell him straight.




Sometimes it's better to forget how you feel
and remember what you deserve


S. M ... still in my heart, forever
   
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