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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Missy07 Offline
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Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 3rd 2010, 04:05 AM

Yeah...my bf of 3 months just dumped me by a text message. How sweet and noble of him. This was our 4th try together (we've been off and on since Dec '08..mostly off) and it was by far the worst and yet the best. He has actually broken my heart this time and he doesn't even care.

I am so beyond hurt and pissed right now....to know that I'm not even worth a 5 minute phone call to him? All I'm woth is a lousy text message...that hurts me more than I can say. It's been coming for weeks now, we haven't stopped fighting for more than a day. But a freakin' text message? Am I that worthless to him that I don't deserve better? Apparently so.

Know what the funniest part of this is? What we broke up over? I had a place on my lip where I bit it, and it swelled up. He was convinced it was a cold sore (cause he is an absolute know-it-all) so he treated me like I was horribly diseased or something. Talking down to me like I don't know a thing at all. Barely wanting to come near me "in case I give it to him, and it will cause him to have sores on his face for the rest of his life" It's absolutely ridiculous! He just wanted an excuse to get rid of me. The worst part is that he doesn't give a crap about hurting me. He really, really doesn't.

Any advice that might help?
please and thank you...


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 3rd 2010, 04:38 AM

You're 21, you an adult. This guy is no where near your level.
That is not an excuse to break up, that's just idiocy. He is an idiot. And a douche.

I'd say cut him out of your life completely, there are better guys in life, he is not one of them.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 3rd 2010, 04:39 AM

I agree with the above
   
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Re: Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 3rd 2010, 05:19 AM

I can understand about breaking up through a text -- it's easy, it's emotionless, and it's easier to get down to the point. If I was dating a woman and we've been "trying" to have a relationship, for the fourth time, then I probably wouldn't care that much because I already knew it was likely to fail again. As for the reason? As a male, let me apologize on his behalf. We don't snoop that low. Please please PLEASE do not create over-generalizations about us just from that incident. What he did was morally wrong. You just need to move on, stop trying to have a relationship with him because you know it's going to continue failing. There's plenty of other dudes out there.



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Re: Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 3rd 2010, 06:54 AM

Breaking up through a text is pretty petty, imho. If you are dating someone for over a couple of weeks, they deserve to be told face to face.


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Re: Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 3rd 2010, 02:11 PM

That's a pretty shitty thing to do. Don't text back. It'll disconcert him.


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 3rd 2010, 02:15 PM

I agree with bitesize, don't text back.

I'm sorry this happened to you, honestly I always break up with people face to face since it's the least they deserve and I've been dumped several times over MSN so I completely understand

Just try and move on, he's obviously not worth your time, PM me if you need to rant or whatever



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Re: Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 3rd 2010, 02:52 PM

Well he sounds like a piece of work. Don't think bout it, he sounds like a an immature ass. You deserve much better than someone to scared to even breakup with you to your face. Be happy he's gone, now you can find someone nice and worth your time.


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Re: Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 3rd 2010, 02:53 PM

My honest opinion is that you shouldn't waste your time feeling hurt over this guy. Obviously he's not worth your time if you're not worth his. It didn't work out before either, so maybe it's simply not meant to be. You deserve better than someone who would break up with you over text, and for such a ridiculous reason.
   
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Re: Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 3rd 2010, 03:04 PM

He is absolutely worthless. You've obviously had terrible relationships with him in the past, and this should hopefully the final one, and the one where you realise that he's just not worth your time! It obviously didn't work before, and it hasn't worked this time, so maybe the break up was just inevitable. But he definitely should NOT have broken up with you by text. That is the lowest of the low. But it just shows what he's like.

I know it's hard, and painful, but try not to let it affect you too much. He's obviously a loser, and you could do so much better. And I'm sure you know this. His reason for breaking up with you is stupid, I know, but he's obviously just immature.

Just try to forget about this, cut him out and move on. You're much bigger than this!

Take care.


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Re: Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 4th 2010, 03:48 AM

Thank you all so much for the replies I feel better than I did this time last night.

I'm still hurt over how it all happened...but I realize now I do deserve better. I just hate knowing that all I'm worth is a freakin' text. I know him very well, and I suspect he'll be texting me again within a week. Then I'll get a super-long email from him, saying he was sorry and stupid and wants to be friends, if nothing else. Thing is, I don't want anything else to do with him, not even "just friends". He has hurt me way too badly this time. But on the other hand, I still have a lot of feelings for him. He may have hurt me, but I do love him...right now, I'm so hurt I can't imagine getting back together with him, but when I do get a super-long message about "how much he loves me" I don't know if I'll cave in?

My problem is, I have sooooo many things I need to say to him. Is it better to just leave it be and not talk to him when he sends a message, or reply back with all of my feelings too?


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Re: Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 4th 2010, 04:43 AM

My ex sent me super long paper letters asking for me back. He sent about six over the course of 12 weeks. I didnt read them, but I was still too in love with him to just throw them out, even though it would have been fine as well. I promised I would read them when the temptation to cave in would be gone, when I was (mostly) over him. I think I finally read them four or five months later, when I was well on my way to healing. I laughed at how pathetic it sounded when I knew that if I had read them on the heels of my breakup I would have thought they were romantic. lol. If I were you, I'd do the same with those emails.

If I were you, deleate texts, ignore phone calls and do what you will the emails, i offered my advice on that above.

good luck


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Re: Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 4th 2010, 08:42 AM

My ex of four months did the same... although his reasoning for breaking up with me, was "you're too pale"... Ha!

Anyway, we had to speak as in the same uni class, he tried to ask me to copy my work the week later which i said no..


cut him off if you can
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Re: Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 4th 2010, 03:20 PM

In regards to you receiving an e-mail from him, delete it before it's even read. That way, there's no chance of caving. And honestly, if you have the feeling you're going to cave, then it's a for sure possibility and to avoid that from happening, I would avoid reading the e-mail entirely. It's going to be what's better for you in the long-run. I believe I've advised about this guy in the past, many times; he's not worth your time, obviously, you deserve better, obviously, and it's blatantly obvious that he's not going to be able to commit to you or provide you with the sort of person that's boyfriend-material. If I were you, I'd cut him out of my life completely, because to be frank, he's not the last person you're ever going to love. =/
   
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Re: Just got dumped. In a TEXT. - October 5th 2010, 12:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by PlayingPretend View Post
I believe I've advised about this guy in the past, many times; he's not worth your time, obviously, you deserve better, obviously, and it's blatantly obvious that he's not going to be able to commit to you or provide you with the sort of person that's boyfriend-material. If I were you, I'd cut him out of my life completely, because to be frank, he's not the last person you're ever going to love. =/
Yes, you have advised me about him...many a time I wish I'd listened to everyone (my friends included) who told me he was not worth my time. But I'm too dang nice...I believe in second chances (and third and fourth chances apparantly). I've tried to cut him out of my life, but it never works. The longest I went without speaking to him was almost 4 months, and I finally gave in because I still had so many feelings for him. I don't know how to forget him. I can ignore his texts, emails, and calls, but he will keep on with it. He did that for months...at least one "hello" text a week. And I know it's gonna happen again.

Thanks for the advice...again


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