Cheating?

[James Bluntus]

Okay, so my ex is going out with one of her ex's.

I was talking to his brother and he said that he had a girlfriend. However, it was not my ex. I know they are going out because they hug.

Anyway, lets call my ex A and her BF B. Lets call his brother C and lets call this girl I'm about to tell you about D. So A and B are going out because they hug. C told me that B was going out with this blonde girl 2 days ago. While he was going out with A. Me and my friend were walking to the canteen and saw B and D. D is the exact description of what C told me. So, I followed them closely behind. Didn't see a thing, until I turned around after getting my food and I saw them heads on each others shoulder.

Anyway, I told A and she talked to B and D. B and D said they weren't going out, however, A doesn't know if she believes them. I don't believe them at all. From what I heard and saw, it is absolute bullshit.

So, if A does continue to go out with B. What should I do?

P.S. Did you understand a word of that?

[ShimmeringFaerie]

Okay, well, it's not unusual for a guy to lie if he has a secret girlfriend (obviously). However, it's pretty unusual for the secret girlfriend to lie because most girls don't like sharing their boyfriends. Basically, I would believe them because D has no reason to lie (that I can see). Also, brothers lie and touching heads isn't exactly a sexual act. There isn't a whole lot of evidence to go on.

If your ex decides to stay with her boyfriend, there really isn't anything you can do. You could try and convince her that he is a jerk, but ultimately she has to make the choice to leave him. And the more you try to pressure her to, the less likely it is that she will leave. Just be her friend and support her through her decisions.

[taylalatbh.]

Personally I think it should be none of your business because she is your ex and it's her life, and she can do what she wants to do. I think just because they hug, it doesn't mean they are dating, a hug doesn't prove that at all.

I think you should keep your nose out and stop caring about this. It's got nothing to do with you and you should just leave it happen.

Take care.

[Brandon]

Originally Posted by ShimmeringFaerie

Okay, well, it's not unusual for a guy to lie if he has a secret girlfriend (obviously)

For the record, it's not unusual for women to lie about secret boyfriends also. So it's not unusual for either gender, period.

As for the OP, your ex is of none of your concern. If you're trying to find out whether B is cheating on your ex-girlfriend so that you can break them up and she'll fall for you again, you might as well forget about it. What your ex does or what happens to your ex is beyond you because she is no longer a part of your life. If you disagree, you haven't let her go. The problem isn't the possibility that she's being cheated on, the problem is that she's moved on, but you haven't. I'd focus on yourself more than I'd focus on her.

[Maloo]

Originally Posted by James Bluntus

I know they are going out because they hug.

Uh, what? Just because people hug means they're going out? Since when?

[WillO'Wisp]

If someone is cheating you should notify them. It shouldn't be okay for them to date other people while being exclusive with someone else. That's not fair to the other person. If they can't be faithful to one person, they should not even get into a relationship or consider any kinds of commitment if they are clearly not ready for that.

[ShimmeringFaerie]

For the record, it's not unusual for women to lie about secret boyfriends also. So it's not unusual for either gender, period.

I know it's not gender-based. I didn't say it's usual for men to lie. I said if a man has a secret girlfriend, he'll often lie. Obviously if a woman has a secret boyfriend, she'll often lie about it too. But this thread is talking about a guy who might be lying, so there was no reason for me to say that. No need to assume I'm being sexist just because I'm female and said something negative about one man =P.

[Brandon]

Originally Posted by ShimmeringFaerie

I know it's not gender-based. I didn't say it's usual for men to lie. I said if a man has a secret girlfriend, he'll often lie. Obviously if a woman has a secret boyfriend, she'll often lie about it too. But this thread is talking about a guy who might be lying, so there was no reason for me to say that. No need to assume I'm being sexist just because I'm female and said something negative about one man =P.

I would've said that when people have secret partners, they'll often lie. Your intentions were good, and that's why I'm just adding "for the record," so people don't get any mixed signals. That's something that people can take the wrong way...believe me. I'm just helping you out so it won't get worse. Lol.

[James Bluntus]

I see a lot of comments about it's none of my business.

I have moved on, I'm not trying to break them up. We are still very close and this guy has cheated on her before.

[James Bluntus]

he was cheating.

[Boobies]

Originally Posted by James Bluntus

I know they are going out because they hug.

Wow, I have a lot of secret girlfriends O.o

And yeah, it's not really any of your concern, if your ex has been out with this guy before and he cheated on her then then she should be aware that there's a chance that will happen again, and she should be prepared for this. She probably entered the relationship knowing this.

[Maloo]

Originally Posted by 3.14159265358979323846264

Wow, I have a lot of secret girlfriends O.o

I have lots of secret boyfriends and girlfriends as well if hugging someone means I'm dating them. Jeez, I must have like... 15 total!

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

The fact they hug means nothing of whether they're going out or not. I have plenty of female friends who hug me yet I don't go out with them (most anyways). They hug others as well because they're very open and lively and even do this in front of myself and others. I don't harbour any resentment towards it because I know they're being nice and nothing more, no dating, nothing more. Unless the hug was one where they're feeling each other up, hands inside partner's pants, it means nothing.

I think you may be paranoid about them and this act of them touching sends you off running thinking they're dating.

If the guy has cheated on her before, is it any of your concern? He may not have been cheating before (given your misinterpretation of hugging, I'm sure that's very possible) but if he actually was cheating, it's their business and problem, not yours.

[James Bluntus]

No. I was implying that my ex and her ex is going out. Not cheating.

Anyway, I have another girlfriend now. One who I think will last a long time because most people see this person as a no go because she is in a wheel chair.

I'm very happy.

[dr244]

All that ABC nonsense confused me a little bit. If you're not dating any of these people, stay out of it. It's not your business.

[Maloo]

I still want to know why you think that hugging means dating...