Is it my turn soon?

[Dreamer]

I'm seventeen years old (turning eighteen this year), and I've never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. It feels like everyone around me, even those whom I thought would never be interested in getting a girlfriend or boyfriend, are suddenly getting 'em or, in some cases, celebrating their X years and X months aniversary.

And it's not like I haven't liked anyone, because I have. But the mere few that I have had feelings for, and told them, have not felt the same. Therefore I was very excited last week when I went over to my friends house to celebrate her 18th. It was just her, a mutual friend, and a guy from their school. At first, it was a little awkward, but after a few jokes, things were going smoothly. We went into the TV-room to watch a movie, and in there they have like a big bed instead of a couch. Do I have to say that it got crowded with four people on it?

Anyway, in between movies we talked a lot, and once I thought I was touching my friends hand, so I grabbed it. She didn't react, so I asked out loud "Who's hand is this?", and then the guy replied; "Oh, that's mine". I believe I turned bright red, as I usually do, but it was dark in the room, so I don't think anyone saw. And neither pulled their hand away. Further on, we were sitting next to each other, and his hand was just lying casually on my leg. I leaned my head on his shoulder, and he leaned his head on top of mine. It was great!

When he went home then, he said he wanted a hug from everyone (including me, that is). And after he left, my friend was like "So, what do you think about X?" I said he seemed allright, and we continued watching the movie. Then, yesterday, I met her again and a bit into the conversation she asked that same thing again, and I replied the same way. Then I made the mistake of asking if he had said anything about me. Apparently he hadn't. Yaay, don'tcha think?

Anyway, sorry for all the he-said, she-said stuff. I just really wanted to vent. It just seems like everyone else is in love right now, and I'm standing on the outside looking in. I'm not saying that I'm the most interesting person in the world, or the most attractive one. I'm just saying that I'm not dull, and not down-right ugly. So why not me?

Thanks for letting me vent! If you have any advice, feel free to post

[Kanye West]

Hey there,

I think the question you posed to yourself at the end of your thread "So why not me?" is a good way to look at it.

I would say that maybe you should try to pursue him a bit more. Maybe he hasn't mentioned anything about you because he's shy (who knows). If I was a single male who had interaction with a girl as you described - I would be thinking about it some. I'd feel even better if I got the chance to talk to her more to see if I would be interested in becoming better friends or pursuing a possible relationship in the future. You never know what it possibly could lead to whether it's nothing or something

[Aletheia*]

Just because he hasn't mentioned anything about your encounter at your friends 18th, doesn't mean he doesn't think about it. It's a possibility that he's shy, or that he just doesn't want your friends to know that he has some interest in you, as your friends could ruin in by telling you first (this has happened to me on several occasions!).
I believe you mentioned that he doesn't go to your school, so that would be hard to try to strike up a random conversation with him. But, with the small gestures like not letting go of your hand, and the casual leg hold & head on shoulder thing, it seems like he was showing you some interest.
You can try talking to your friend, letting her know that he was cute.
Your time will come. Don't just set yourself up to take the first thing that gives you some interest. Sometimes, those relationship's end pretty badly (if they end at all, of course), and that's something you don't want to endure, especially if you haven't been in a relationship before.

[Dimi]

In terms of the first and penultimate sections, we are basically one and the same.
From the signs of hand-holding and head resting, I would have been inclined to think he was interested. I agree that him not talking about it doesn't mean he's not interested. I know girls and how they talk about their crushes, but guys aren't quite the same on those terms, or so my own experience has led me to believe.
As for why not you, I'm sure there is no reason that you're still single. Unless you show obvious signs of lack of interest, of course. It'll happen for you some time and it'll taste sweeter knowing how the wait was worth it..
I would recommend not just going after this guy purely because he shows interest, but if you are actually interested, then make the effort to pursue him! As he goes to a different school and you can't "bump" in to him in the halls, do let your friend know you think he's cute or something. It seems just seem like a bit more effort is required!

[Satine]

It sounds to me like you're keen to fall in love, to go through what you see other people going through, and enjoying a lot for it.

Originally Posted by Dreamer

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And it's not like I haven't liked anyone, because I have. But the mere few that I have had feelings for, and told them, have not felt the same.

How would you compare how you 'feel' in these infatuations, compared to how others appear to feel in theirs?

[MattiLikesToHelp]

This passion and need for love with make you a great partner with someone special. You must remember though. as your searching for love. dont get distracted to much. You have other important things in life that you need to be worrying about. Schooling ang personal goals are very important. Love is a wonderfull thing ill tell you that much. But love cant be enjoyed if everything else in your life is unstable. Love finds everyone, when you find it make it yours

[Dreamer]

Thanks for your replies! I'm not sure what to do, still, but it was helpful reading what you guys wrote. I'll see what happens...

[hilarypot]

well its nice to be a teenager!!!
but this age of yours is very crucial, you choose your gf/bf so its very essential part of your life to make this decision!!
i hope you do well.........al the best!!

[metalheadjessus]

This is a tricky one, because in my experience, hand-holding and head resting can be things that friends do, as well as love interests. However, that doesn't mean that he isn't in to you in a relationship-related way. Just because he hasn't said anything to your friend, as many have said, it doesn't mean that he hasn't thought about it or said anything to anyone else. Maybe you could try facebooking him to see if he talks to you or anything? If it's meant to happen then it will, and even if not with him, your day will come, so try not to fret The chances are that there will be plenty more friend get-togethers, and you might even get to talk to him, or even other people at one of those. Dimi produces a very good point that you shouldn't just go after anyone who shows an interest, but make sure that you are interested in them too. Good luck, and enjoy yourself.

[Dreamer]

So... I added him on FB. He accepted pretty much right away (as soon as he logged on, I think), and I posted a "Hi! " on his wall. He was rather quick to reply "HIYA!!! :3" Then I asked how he was, and he said that he was fine and asked how I was. After I said that I was fine, the convo kinda died out... but I'll try and talk to him some more. Maybe in chat when he's on. But I don't want to seem to pushy...

Last night I spoke to the other girl who went to my friends 18th, and we decided that we're gonna meet up on friday. My friend who turned 18 recently is not home this week (we have a break from school and she's off skiing), so at the moment it's just me and this other girl. We don't really have any friends in common except the girl who's off skiing, the other girls' ex-boyfriend (whom I don't think she'll want to come with us), and (I dunno if we're friends), that guy... should I ask him to come along? Or is that too pushy?

[metalheadjessus]

I'm glad that the facebook thing worked Asking him to hang out with you two would be a great thing to do, and wouldn't seem at all pushy. If your friend is there aswell, then it would make it even less date-like, which would mean that you could all just talk and have a laugh without it being awkward. This would also give you things to talk to him about afterwards

[Dreamer]

Yeah, sounds good! And the two of them know each other well, so I don't think that either of them would mind hanging out with each other. But perhaps I should talk to her first, so she didn't want to have a girlnight, or something...

She and I were talking about just going to get something to eat and then go to either her place or mine (probably mine) to watch a couple of movies and just hang out. Which is basically what we diid when we celebrated my friends 18th. However, it'd be a little awkward bringing him over to my place because A; it'd only be the second time we met and B; my (snoopy) parents would be home...

But I do think that I'll check with my friend if we can ask him to tag along... ^^

EDIT; Just went on FB and he was on chat. So I wrote "Hiya! ^^" and he didn't reply, and after awhile he went inactive...

EDIT 2; He just wrote back! *freaking out* <3