Cheating..your partners or the other persons fault?

[lauren_160]

This happened to a friend of mine, and i'm just interested what other people would do.

She slept with a boy, who she thought was single, but he didn't tell her he was in a relationship, the girl then found out and went crazy at my friend calling her all sorts.

So my question is, if your partner/hypothetical partner did this to you, would you be annoyed at them or the other person?

[Magic.]

This kinda happened to a friend of mine too, he told her about an hour after they had sex that he had a girlfriend. I don't think his girlfriend knows yet though ... My friend is considering telling her though cos it's not fair of him ...
It's not your friend's fault though, if she didn't know then how can it be her fault. The guy was the one who knew and could have stopped.

[Pelios]

I would be mad at my boyfriend for denying our relationship.

[snakewhisperer28]

if the girl dosent know the dude she sleeps with is in a relationship, how could that be her fault? its completly the guys fault. If my bf cheated on me then id be mad at both of them. id be mad at the girl at first..cuz honestly wht guy will admit that he didnt mention ur relatinship to the chick he laid. hes in enough hot water w/o adding to it. But if i later found out that the poor girl had no clue, i wouldnt hold it aginst her.

[TigerTank77]

It's usually always the person in the relationships fault.

It isn't always the outside person's fault.

[Floriferous]

I think it's the person in the relationships fault.
They're the person who knows that they're in a relationship. The other person most likely doesn't know unless they''re told that the other was in a relationship. So they would obviously think the person is single when they're not.

[lauren_160]

Like i get that the girls angry, but when it comes down to it, the guys in the wrong, obviously the girls not going to like my friend, but she didn't know,

people like that irritate me..

[Ancora Imparo]

In your friends situation she wasn't to know that this person had a girlfriend so I don't really see how it can be her fault because if someone tells you that they're single then the majority of the time you aren't going to doubt that. I guess every case of cheating is unique and different in its own way but for me I think I'd be more angry at my partner than the other person involved because they would be perfectly aware that they were in a relationship before going off with another person.

[PlayingPretend]

Hm. I don't mean to sound like a bitch but it seems the general consensus, having not been in that position, is that you would blame your partner, but I often wonder how many opinions would change if they were directly in that situation or if they've been in that situation, what was their opinion while in that situation.

The reason I say this is because I have a couple of friends who have experienced being cheated on, and who, for the longest time, blamed "the other woman." I have seen threads here blaming "the other (wo)man," as well. The only thing is that I, obviously, cannot speak for these poster's original opinions, where I can for my friends. Both of my friends claimed that they would be angry at their partner if it happened, but that's not the way that it worked out, even though that's, simply, what it comes down to.

It's similar to saying "I trust him/her, but I don't trust them." The only reason you don't trust them is because there's some insecurity with him/her. It takes two to tango, really, so if you trusted your partner, then there'd be no need to worry. If your partner were trustworthy, he/she would make sure they didn't cross a line and he/she would do their best to make sure the other person remained within platonic boundaries, as well, and quite possibly make some relationship-altering decisions if they didn't (such as no longer speaking with them).

So my opinion is that it is your partner's fault, in the end. I have always seen it as such. Especially in a case where the other person had no idea they were in a relationship, but, I will still say it is your partner's fault even when they do know. Do I think they get off free? No. Do I think that it's right? No, and I don't find it moral or ethical in the slightest. I do find it flat-out wrong. But just because they made a wrong decision, it doesn't mean they get the blame for your partner's choice simply because you don't want to accept the truth at hand.

[TheCrowing]

That always pisses me off a bit. The girlfriend/boyfriend always takes it out on the person who he or she was cheated on with, but in reality, it's not 100% their fault.

I once had a hook up. They were going to get married, but their relationship took a turn for the worse. So me and one of them were really good friends. One day said person was telling me how they broke up and how they're both done with each other. One thing led to another and we hooked up. Next day in school, the girlfriend came up to me at my locker and started yelling and screaming at me. I go to homeroom, and she follows me and flings a desk at me and throws a chair. Turns out they never broke up. And they even had sex the night that we had the hook up. aha.. weird.

I mean, sure I was at some fault because I should have known better or not done it at all... But then again, I was lied to and it wasn't like I had intentions to homewreck their relationship.