I Think He's In Love, At Last

[Algernon]

I feel this is good and bad news.

We're in the hospital, I had to take my boyfriend to the ER. He was diagnosed with Diabetic Ketoacidosis... When we were in the ER I touched his hand and said, "Do you know that I care about you a lot?" and he said he did, and that he cared a lot about me too. I confronted him with "Honey, can I talk to you about something that's been bothering me? Are you in love with your ex?" He told me no. I asked him if that was the truth and he said yes... We talked a little bit and I asked him about how the healing process was since her. He said It's easy to get rid of wounds when you love someone... ???

I've been with him for five days now... I've been by his side everyday. I feel something different in his touch, in his words. I've never met his family but I talked to them over the phone. I guess they didn't like me before because I'm 20 and he's 37 and they were a little worried. But since I've been with him every moment, taking care of him he told me that they have no problem with me and I'm earning their respect and acceptance. When he said he actually started crying a bit. Later his sister text and said "tell your girlfriend thank you for watching over my little brother." He got a little teary eyed then too.

What do you guys think?

[snakewhisperer28]

um this is totally off topic, sorry.. but there is this guy i like who likes me back who is 34 atm...so its the same age diff as between u and ur bf. I know i have to wait till im 18 to be with him, but its good to know other ppl seem to work with that age difference

[Maloo]

I think you've been dissecting this relationship ever since you got into it... Relax things will progress as they're supposed to. Just enjoy the time you spend with him instead of trying to figure out what he's thinking/feeling

[Double X]

I'd concur with Myss. Please be careful Holly you went from a relationship when you had all of the power (with the mexican I believe?) to one where you feel completely powerless.

Good luck!

[Algernon]

I agree with you both. I could use a little input though.
I do feel like I went from all power, to none. It's a hard transition and because of if I feel like I might lose my current at any moment =( Why is that?

[Double X]

Originally Posted by Algernon

I agree with you both. I could use a little input though.
I do feel like I went from all power, to none. It's a hard transition and because of if I feel like I might lose my current at any moment =( Why is that?

It's uncertainty in the relationship. It's that he has acted so that you don't know what to expect of him. By doing this, he is subtly giving off vibes that he doesn't require you. Which makes you want him more. Vicious cycle repeats.

Oops, giving up too many guy secrets. I'm out

[Acheron]

Originally Posted by Double X

It's uncertainty in the relationship. It's that he has acted so that you don't know what to expect of him. By doing this, he is subtly giving off vibes that he doesn't require you. Which makes you want him more. Vicious cycle repeats.

Oops, giving up too many guy secrets. I'm out

Ignore this post, guys. Nothing to see here. Certainly no exploitable facts about girl-psychology.

[how.we.operate.]

I don't think the age difference matters as long as you and him are good for each other--don't just say of course, but take a step backwards and make sure of this. As long as you care for him and he cares for you, that is all that matters.

In terms of his words, I'd say that was his way of saying he loves you. I think he is still trying to find the right way to say it as well, so it is a start.
His family sounds typical when they weren't exactly comfortable with the age difference. I mean at first, not many accept an age difference like that, let alone the family. Definitely give it time with the family, slowly they will accept you even more and more.

I think that you are really good for him. Being young and dealing with a serious health issue is hard, but since you are sticking to his side, I think that it is really good. There is no way to tell you what to do and what not. I think that you are being the best person you could be for him.
My boyfriend's little sister does the same kind of thing where she'll text him and ask when I'm coming over next or say nice things about me. His family was extremely welcoming to me because they didn't like his ex, but they definitely have warmed up even more to me.
I think just do what you want and keep being there for him because that is honestly really cute and the best that you can do for him right now

[MacGuffin]

I think you're thinking this through a little too much. I've noticed that from the time you first started talking about this relationship. He'll tell you when he is ready to tell you. Things will progress the way they're supposed to, and worrying about the order and timeline only adds extra anxiety to the relationship. It will all work out okay.

[dr2005]

Best advice really is to just chill and take it as it comes. Hard-earned experience says there really is nothing gained by overanalysing every comment or gesture for its meaning, because more likely than not you'll lose track of the actual spending-time-with-each-other-and-enjoying-it thing. Once that goes, nothing else will follow. So as others have said and I'll repeat it because it's true, just take things as they come.

Originally Posted by Acheron

Ignore this post, guys. Nothing to see here. Certainly no exploitable facts about girl-psychology.

Why is it I get worried whenever you use words like "exploitable"? I'm sure my brain is making things worse than they really are, or at least I really hope it is.

[Quartet]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Double X
It's uncertainty in the relationship. It's that he has acted so that you don't know what to expect of him. By doing this, he is subtly giving off vibes that he doesn't require you. Which makes you want him more. Vicious cycle repeats.

Oops, giving up too many guy secrets. I'm out

Ignore this post, guys. Nothing to see here. Certainly no exploitable facts about girl-psychology.

And this is why guys are awesome. I just needed to state that.

Also, he's 34, you're 20. Do you perhaps think the reason for your constant questioning has to do with the fact that he's an older man? Perhaps you feel like because he's older you're not certain what to expect next?
I once dated a guy that was 28 at age18, so 10 year difference. It was a bit odd for me at first, wasn't quite sure if I amounted up to anything in terms of intellect. After a while I realized there was so need to over analyze the whole relationship.

Either way, like other have stated, calm down. Enjoy your relationship. =P

[Algernon]

Originally Posted by Quartet

And this is why guys are awesome. I just needed to state that.

Also, he's 34, you're 20. Do you perhaps think the reason for your constant questioning has to do with the fact that he's an older man? Perhaps you feel like because he's older you're not certain what to expect next?
I once dated a guy that was 28 at age18, so 10 year difference. It was a bit odd for me at first, wasn't quite sure if I amounted up to anything in terms of intellect. After a while I realized there was so need to over analyze the whole relationship.

Either way, like other have stated, calm down. Enjoy your relationship. =P

He's definitely not the first older man I've dated. That's all I date. The questioning Isn't because he's older, It's because he acts differently than the other older men I've been with.