Still in love...

[coldaciid]

Me and this guy started dating April 18th, 2008 and we were very close and saw eachother 4 times a week. We were very much in love and would do anything for eachother. I was his first girlfriend, we lost it to eachother after waiting a year and a half . We never had an arguement, ever. I got a call on February 11th 2010 and he said he needed a break to think about if he wanted to continue the relationship or not. Story short, he ended up sleeping with another girl a day later (his best friend) and I asked him about it and he said he realized he could have lost me and he cried for two days straight. I overlooked it and we ended up getting back together that night. He was always loyal to me and I trusted him so much. Before that if he was around other girls I was fine, after I found out he slept with another girl while we took a break for 2 days it really made me feel insecure. I started to worry about him around other girls after we got back together. In august 17 2010 he sat me down and told me even though things were getting better he felt it was time to break up. We both cried. He said that I was a great girl but he felt like I wouldn't be a good mother and that he could not picture a good future with me. He said I was a great girl but he would rather me be with someone who can really love me for all that I am. It broke me, I cried for three days in a row and felt like I wanted to die. I loved him with everything I had. The relationship lasted 2 years and 4 months. I have not seen him or spoken to him since August 18th. I didn't even think about him until 2 months ago when I had a dream about him, I woke up crying. I have dreams about him occasionally now, and I always wake up crying. I thought I was over him, could this still mean I love him? I really wish I could make it work, because after 6 months of thinking I was over him, this all comes rushing back out of no where. It makes me wonder if I am still in love with him, because this love was real, it was beautiful, I never thought I could love this much. I know I have to move on, I have moved on, but for some reason my heart won't let this all go. Should I try to talk to him? Its been six months since we have spoken...or should I let it all go?

[Xineas]

I'd let it go, to be blunt and honest. Even though I'm all for the concept of taking time to think things through, 6 months is a lot of time. It could very well be true that he has moved on and found himself someone else to love and by digging back into your past, you only hurt yourself more. You'll start thinking back of the good times you had with him and before you know it, you'll be longing to be his girlfriend again.

He was the one breaking up, he had a different vision on your future together and he felt like he had to end the relationship. If you would try getting back in contact and end up falling in love again, chances aren't big that he has changed his mind. Sure you could be friends, but even then you have to wonder if you want to bug yourself with this mentally.

I wouldn't say you still love him, but you definitely aren't over him yet, since you're somewhat longing for him. Your dreams don't necessarily have to mean you want to get back with -him- though. It could as well mean that you want male company, someone that loves you and takes care of you. There's nothing wrong with wanting someone to love you, it's the most normal thing in the world!

My advice is: find yourself a great guy you can be yourself around, someone that you can really bond with and forget about the past. Don't settle for less, it can take time, but 'the one' will eventually come by...

[WillO'Wisp]

I wouldn't talk to him and let it go.
Maybe you are just dealing with some feelings and pain leftover from the breakup that you haven't let in until now.
When those dreams and thoughts of him come into your mind, shut them out. Block them from entering. Tell them to go away and you don't want to think about him. Just try your hardest not to let those feelings or memories in, pretend he doesn't exsist.