Making friends with girls

Gallade · **Making friends with girls -** April 5th 2011, 06:09 PM

I've decided if I want to go farther in life, then I need to reach out and talk to more people. I have a harder time making friends with girls so I'm going to try to talk to more girls.

So last week I was at a school computer working on my project when she came by and sat at the computer next to mine. I recognized her as the girl in my Calculus class. She asked what I was doing and I told her I was working on a project. Then we had a little chat and eventually she had to go and said she would see me in class. Since she went a bit out of her way to talk to me, I decided I may as well try and talk to her more often from now on.

That was last week. Now whenever she manages to see me as she walks in the classroom, she does say hi and we stop and chat. But that is only if she notices me. If she happens to be talking to her friends as she enters, we don't get to talk (obviously, which is understandable). However this means I'm only brave enough to speak with her when she speaks with me and I want to change that.

But if I want to strike up a conversation, what do I even say to her? I've already used the 'weekend subject' on Monday and I already know what her educational plans are for next year. As she sits across the room I feel it's a bit random to go up to her and start asking her questions, even when the class is working on schoolwork. If I wanted to ask her a course related question, well there are several students around me that are just as capable of answering the question plus the teacher's desk is closer to my desk than her desk.

As for attempts outside the classroom, I know she goes to her locker before the bell, but hanging around the locker for no "apparent" reason seems odd. Trying to time my schedule so I pass her locker as I'm walking is too difficult. Otherwise besides the classroom and locker I have no idea where she is for the rest of the day. She doesn't have a Facebook/Myspace, but even if she did I prefer talking face-to-face.

I guess my problem is being too paranoid about everything going around me and making assumptions.

Note: I do not want to be in a relationship with her (although she is cute :P), I just want to know her better.

Ancora Imparo · **Re: Making friends with girls -** April 5th 2011, 07:37 PM

What's up man,

Well if she has gone out of her way to talk to you then it's pretty clear that she's interested in being your friend and getting to know you better so that's a good start. I think when it comes to talking to people it's all about confidence and experience, the more you talk to people, the easier you'll find it strike up a conversation with somebody. There are many things that you could say to start up a conversation with this girl. You could pay her a simple compliment, ask her how she's doing or how her day has been so far and then from there the best way to keep a conversation going is to listen to what she's saying. With every sentance there will probably be key words that you can pick up on and talk about. For example, if she were to say something like "the cat sat on the mat" then you could always ask her about the cat, what kind of cat she has and what's the name of the cat. There are sources for conversation in every sentance!

Obviously you don't want to come across as if you're following her everywhere and that you're busting a gut to speak to her so I'd suggest just taking it easy and if you happen to be passing her or you're around her, smile, say hello and then jump into conversation.

I really hope that this has helped you in one way or another and if you would like to talk further then feel free to PM or VM me whenever as I'm always more than happy to talk.

Take care and good luck!

Gallade · **Re: Making friends with girls -** April 6th 2011, 04:26 AM

Okay, I guess it's true I can't force encounters with people so I'll just let things go as they are.

Thanks for giving me conversation ideas! I will try it out ASAP and post the results here if possible. If anyone else has things they would like to share feel free to do so.

Tynan · **Re: Making friends with girls -** April 7th 2011, 02:40 PM

jake is right, but some good convo starters i always use are, "i need your opinion on something, who lies more boys or girls", or just ask any question or start the convo were she would be more engaged into it.

if you need anymore convo ideas or advice send me a VM or PM ill be glad to helo

Excelsior · **Re: Making friends with girls -** April 7th 2011, 05:40 PM

Just say hi to her. Ask her how she is and how her day has been. Girls never really mind you taking an interest in their well being, and we do kinda like the attention and the fact you're taking the time to ask us about these things. Ask how her family is, or if she could help you with some homework sometime. There are plenty of ways to start a conversation, as Jake said, and it will get easier the more you get to know her. Simply asking her about her hobbies works well too, as then it will easily give you inspiration for a conversation based on what she enjoys, and if you so happen to share that hobby, that's a bigger bonus as you'll have a lot more in common with her.

Choose · **Re: Making friends with girls -** April 8th 2011, 02:09 AM

Hey man,

I will admit I did not read all of your original post but if she is going out of her way to speak with you, it is usually safe to say that she has some sort of interest in you. I agree with the above responses as well. Just remember to CHILL OUT. You seem to be nitpicking her every move, analyzing everything. DON'T. Just relax and ask how her weekend was, what she has going on that day, whatever and build off of what she says and before you know it she'll be spilling her guts about herself.

At some point you will have built enough rapport to get her phone # and you will be able to hang out outside of class.

Something else you can start doing to enhance your conversational skills is to start random conversations with people. The cashier at the store, the teller at the bank, the person working the drive-thru, random people around your school's campus. Make observations as you walk around and strike up conversations with people. If all goes well, you develop your conversational skills and perhaps brighten someone's day. If the conversation fizzles, it's just a random person and it doesn't matter because you'll likely never see them again (and you learn what you can do to converse better).

Gallade · **Re: Making friends with girls -** April 10th 2011, 01:58 AM

Thanks for your responses! So it should be okay to just go up to her during class and talk to her? I would do that, except there aren't any empty seats surrounding her. But pulling up my chair sounds so disruptive. Otherwise I don't know of another opportunity to see her during the day. But I am definitely good on the topic starter part. We will see on your suggestions after I get over this first hurdle.

Ancora Imparo · **Re: Making friends with girls -** April 10th 2011, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gallade

Thanks for your responses! So it should be okay to just go up to her during class and talk to her? I would do that, except there aren't any empty seats surrounding her. But pulling up my chair sounds so disruptive. Otherwise I don't know of another opportunity to see her during the day. But I am definitely good on the topic starter part. We will see on your suggestions after I get over this first hurdle.

Is where she sits next to any kind of stationary cupboards, shelves or something that you might need to get to at anytime during the lesson? Because instead of just walking on up to her and talking to her, you could always make it seem like you're heading on over there to pick up something or find something and then while you're over there be like "Oh hey!" and strike up conversation with her.

Gallade · **Re: Making friends with girls -** April 10th 2011, 07:01 PM

She sits in an area where she is surrounded by students and I sit next to the supply area, so I guess the plan won't work out. But I see what you mean though, if I had an "excuse" to go to that general area I could talk to her and that would make it easier for future encounters.

I guess for now I'll just go up to her and mention the ideas everyone suggested.

Acheron · **Re: Making friends with girls -** April 10th 2011, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gallade

She sits in an area where she is surrounded by students and I sit next to the supply area, so I guess the plan won't work out. But I see what you mean though, if I had an "excuse" to go to that general area I could talk to her and that would make it easier for future encounters.

I guess for now I'll just go up to her and mention the ideas everyone suggested.

There's no such thing as a perfect moment, and you don't need an excuse to talk to a girl. Just walk on over. Girls are smarter than you give them credit for. She'll see right through you anyway, so why mess around with excuses?

Gallade · **Re: Making friends with girls -** April 11th 2011, 05:38 PM

Today I walked on over and when I was about to say something, the teacher told me to sit down.

Ancora Imparo · **Re: Making friends with girls -** April 11th 2011, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gallade

Today I walked on over and when I was about to say something, the teacher told me to sit down.

That's niether yours or her fault though so brush it off and try again next time. Infact you could probably use that to your advantage with her and use it as something to talk about. At least you'll always have "I wanted to come over and talk to you the other day but I was told to sit down" if you're running out of things to say. You'll get your moment man, don't worry about it!