Attracted To My Teacher?

[AboutAGirl]

I'm a sophomore girl in high school, and I'm strongly attracted to my teacher. I mean- physically- he's exactly my type, with short brown hair and brown eyes. But then his personality- he's so sweet, and kind, and he knows when to joke and when to be real. He'll tease us and laugh with us and he's just so easy going. With my tendency to blush when I talk to him, I think that he knows that I've got feelings for him, and when I pass him in the hallways after school, even with all the other students around us, he'll see me and just say hi to me. It's getting to the point where I dream about him at night- I know that sounds weird, but I'm just being honest. It's just- I see him as so much more than I teacher- I see him as a person and a great guy.

Is this normal? Any advice, or has this ever happened to you?

Also, the last guy I bothered to get into a relationship with was 17 when I was 12- it worked out fine and all, but does this mean that I've got a weird thing for older men?

[QuantumModulus]

I haven't experienced this, per say, but from what I can tell it's an extremely common thing. Nothing to be alarmed about. :P Just make sure that you don't act on any of your feelings. If you tell him, there will always be awkwardness between you and him as long as you're his student.

I don't think it's weird to be into older people :P I've always found older women more attractive, in general, but as long as it's not an extreme age difference it shouldn't be a problem.

[BooBooWuvsMichael]

i know exactly what you are talking about. my 9th grade year i had a teacher who i was attracted to. He had short brown hair, big brown eyes, tall, outgoing, funny, occasionally serious, etc. he was exactly what i wanted. The thing is, we all have these crushes. We tend to think more about them at a young age. Truthfully i think its ok to have these crushes. But i dont think its right to act upon them since he is your teacher. He could loose his job. And if you really think he might be attracted to you. u need to wait until you graduate and are 18. That way you have grown up more and know exactly what you want. I still see my old teacher every now and then and still find him attractive but i would never act upon it. i have dated a guy that was 23 when i was 16. its not really smart to date someone that much older until you, yourself has more experience in relationships. but i do wish you the best of luck.

[PSY]

It's pretty common. I personally have never had a crush on a teacher. I've found one or two attractive, but I've never gone past that initial thought of, "Oh, he's cute, I'm going to stare at him for a little while longer."

I think it's natural to develop attractions toward teachers for a number of reasons... but you brought up one point in particular that I'd like to focus on. You said that you don't just see him as a teacher... you see him as a great person as well. That's something teenagers begin to disc0ver as they grow older: despite all the stereotypes out there, we are NOT defined by our physical traits, characteristics, or professions. When we are younger, we see parents as parents and teachers as teachers. Adults are defined by the roles they hold in our lives, and it's difficult to see past that. We also tend to stereotype our classmates in order to make sense of our relationships with them. As we grow older, however, we gain the amazing ability of INSIGHT, and can see past those basic definitions we have held our entire lives.

While I think it's great that you see your teacher as an actual human being (something many of your peers won't accept until they have graduated!), it's also important to keep your behavior in check. Experiencing these kinds of emotions is normal. Acting upon them is not. I'm not going to go into all of the reasons, because I'm pretty sure someone at some point will go into detail about the developmental differences (hence why "older men" are only acceptable under certain circumstances), the inappropriateness of having a romantic relationship between teachers and students, the possible consequences you would both be subjected to if caught, etc.

[Pelios]

It's actually normal, I was hearing the radio the other day and they were talking about your situation. Students having a crush on teachers and a psychologist was saying that some reasons this tends to happen is you look up to him and admire his qualities of a teacher such as that he has a genuine interest of his students or that he is devoted, committed, and honest with his profession and helps students to acquire knowledge, etc. I have had crushes on teachers but not to the point of dreaming of them or anything just looking at them and thinking they are hot but that’s it.

[Aletheia*]

At my high school, when I was attending, there were a fair share of gorgeous teachers, male and female alike (my freshman year Biology teacher had been in Playboy magazine before she started her teaching career, which she openly admitted to us).

I had crushes on more than one of my male teachers though. Freshman year, it was my english teacher: he was nerdy yet devoted to his students at all costs. Not to mention, he wasn't bad to look at it. Sophomore year, I don't think I had any attractive male teachers. Not that I can remember right now. Junior year, it was both my government teacher, whom I had for only a semester and my phsyics teacher whom I had all throughout the school year. Senior year, it was my theater teacher. All of them were goofy yet serious about their jobs at the same time, exactly the kind of guy I'm into. I admired them and looked up to them.

I would never act on any of your feelings though. Not only will it cause awkwardness between the two of you as long as your students, but it's also illegal as he isn't a minor and you are! He could lose his job, could possibly go to prison (Mary Kay Leternau anyone?). Just keep those feelings to yourself but feel free to admire. There is no harm there. I'm sure he's used to his female students having crushes on him, as you have to really prepare yourself for that kind of thing. It's even possible that he might not even know you find him attractive and is just saying hi simply because you are his student.

[MacGuffin]

I've been sexually attracted to my teachers before, but I've never developed feelings for them.