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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Average Joe
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Knowing when to end it. - May 2nd 2011, 12:06 AM

I'm pretty bad at excepting I should end a relationship. My boyfriend and I have argued more and more. I have really tried to make this relationship work, but it is stressing me out. He is a smoker and that is stressful to me because he’s having issues breathing and gets annoyed when he has gone too long with a cigarette. I'm stressed out because when a good female friend of his got kicked out of her house he wanted to have her stay with him. . I’m just tired of all the little issues. But I love him, I really do.

It feels like one moment I really love him then the next I don't feel much at all. We get stressed because we do not completely understand each other. And for some reason it really gets on my nerves when we are hanging out before he works and he wants to get there early to hang out with someone else. I do not want to have sex as often. I feel like the magic is gone. I'm not super awesomely in love as before. But in someway I love him more then ever. We are always there for each other emotionally. We tell each other mostly everything. He helps me with homework. I'm just... frustrated that I don't know how to put it back the way it was.

How do I decide when I should no longer be in the relationship?

"Setting boundaries is not a more sophisticated way of manipulation - although some people will say they are setting boundaries, when in fact they are attempting to manipulate. The difference between setting a boundary in a healthy way and manipulating is: when we set a boundary we let go of the outcome."

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Last edited by StrigidaeofChrono; May 2nd 2011 at 12:17 AM.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Evanesco Offline
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Outside, huh?
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Re: Knowing when to end it. - May 2nd 2011, 10:35 AM

Have you talked to him about how you feel? The only way to fix a relationship is with the cooperation of both sides.
I'm not so great at ending relationships myself, so I'm sorry that I haven't got much advice for you.

Hester. x

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Knowing when to end it. - May 2nd 2011, 04:48 PM

I agree with Hester. Communication needs to be there in the relationship in order for it to work and be fixed when there is problems.
Your boyfriend is a smoker, and nicotine is a very addictive "substance". I'm also a smoker, and of course, I get a little cranky if I haven't had a cigarette for a little bit of time. It's just something we both have to deal with. His breathing issues are the real problem, which he should get checked out. I would suggest asking him to see a doctor about that right away.
The honeymoon phase is over for you two. There is no more lovey dovey feelings all the time, but you can't honestly expect him to hang out with you on a 24/7 basis. You both have friends, and there should be periods of time when you want to hang out with them sans boyfriend.
Talk to him about the issues your having.

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