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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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SpiderHan03 Offline
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Unhappy i need some advice... - May 2nd 2011, 05:31 AM

blehhh. so there's this boy... i met him over a year ago and we finally had our first date a few days ago. i can't get him out of my head now. he is soooooooo amazing.

here's my conflict. i have concerns about it being an unhealthy relationship because we met in the psych ward. so unusual and strange that these feelings developed there.

he was in for anger issues. i was in for self injury and suicidal thoughts. i was abused verbally by a previous boyfriend. i haven't been in an official relationship since then. over a year ago also. i'm so scared.. what happens if we fight? what happens if i fall in love? what happens if he leaves.

plus he has this other girl he could possibly have a relationship with. they were gonna go to prom and everything but she dumped him because we were talking. she is one of those girls who just begssssssss for attention. she has no self-esteem. i mean, i don't either but at least i try not to show it. and she makes him feel bad when she is the crazy psycho one. but she goes to the same school as him. he lives 45 minutes away from me. i have trust issues. how can i trust him? i mean, i saw her on facebook and (this is mean) she's not very pretty. but that doesn't mean his feelings for her just go away.

i don't know why i wrote this. i just need some confirmation. something to know that i can go into this relationship with full confidence.

i'm so scared...


"No matter how bad something is hurting us... sometimes it hurts worse to let it go..."



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Re: i need some advice... - May 2nd 2011, 10:32 AM

Hey Han.

In the end only you can decide whether or not you are ready for a relationship.
You need to think about this carefully. If it ended badly, would you be able to get over it? If you think that it would make you feel like you did before, then that might suggest that you're not ready yet.
Talk to him. Ask him if you can take things slowly. Explain how you feel.
If you feel ready for a relationship then go for it. He's not with anyone else and he wants to be with you.
PM me if you need anymore advice or just someone to talk to.

Hester. x


Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!


RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
   
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Re: i need some advice... - May 2nd 2011, 11:48 PM

I agree with Hester. Take things slowly. He has anger management problems, and you were previously in an abusive relationship. If he does anything you set you off, I would hate to see you resort to self-harm again. Be sure you're ready for another relationship - and if you believe you are, take your time in getting to know this guy.





   
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