Online Relationships?

[SuperBrunetteCutie4Ever]

What do you think of them? What's your opinion of people who are in an online relationship?

[Nicole!]

I say no, because most of the time you won't have met them in person and you may never meet them. That makes it different from a long distance relationship.
I would never enter one because I want to love someone that I can hold and touch, not just talk to.
People can be anything online, what they say and look like may not be who they are at all. You never know, that hot 17 year old boy/girl may really be a 50 year old pedophile.. with a mustache.

Sure, some couples meet online and get married, but at this age I think it is kind of pointless.

[sassygurlone]

If I meet the person online and that's all the relationship is is online then no. Sometimes you don't even know that the person you are talking to is who you think they are. You could do video chat then you can really see and talk to the person but you have no clue what they do in their offlline life. You don't know that they aren't in a relationship with someone else or with many other people. So if that is the case then no.

However, if you know the person already and one of you moves away but you still want to be in a relationship together so you do that online and on the phone then yes.

[QuantumModulus]

I've been in a couple of online relationships...two of which were with people I'd never even met, and one with someone away from whom I had moved (about 500 miles) so it wasn't a purely online relationship; there had been physical connection long beforehand. The purely online relationships were extremely unstable, and didn't last long (no more than 4 or 5 months at the most, after a while of building a solid friendship) mainly because of trust issues. After I established that type of emotional connection with that person, the first thing that came to mind was the fact that she's hundreds of miles away and could easily be doing something behind my back with that guy she said she was meeting up with earlier, or something to that effect. It's not respectful to distrust someone who you claim to have romantic feelings for, but honestly without a physical connection it's hard (for me, at least) to feel as though I can have complete trust in her. I don't think that I can any longer be in one of those relationships mainly because of the fact that it's so easy to be lied to -- which is what ultimately disintegrated both of the aforementioned cases.

I think that anyone who endeavors to being committed in an online relationship is ambitious, but I think that for some people, it can work. I don't really think differently of them than I do anyone else. :P I think the hardest part of those relationships is, at our age (teenage), there's a high likelihood that we'd never even meet the person on the other end of the relationship, as Nicole pointed out. For older folks, it might be more practical, but for most of us at our age it simply isn't.

[Aletheia*]

I said no. Personally, I want to be with that person all the time. Online, I can only "be" with them to a certain extent.

[Gaia]

I couldn't be in a purely online relationship. It would just feel like a good friendship to me without the contact.
I've done the semi-long distance, where I got to see my partner once a month generally, and even that was hard enough.
I think meeting someone online, and eventually developing a relationship can work, as long as there is a good amount of contact and visiting one another. But I do think it's entirely dependent on the people involved.
I also think long distance can only last for so long unless you eventually move closer to each other. Plans for the future have to be talked about, and compromises have to happen for it to work. I'd need to know that someday I would not be in an online, or long distance relationship, otherwise I wouldn't bother my time, it would be too painful.
Power to the people who can though, I'm just not able to.

[Guardian_Angel]

I have been in online relationships before, and they can be successful.

A lot of people have mentioned the trust, and how you don't know they are with other people or not; this is a misconception. Unless you literally live with a partner (and even then its very easily done) you are never around your partner all the time, there will be time unaccounted, and as long as there is that time, then your partner can be cheating on you, it does not change for online relationships.

As for the physical factor, it depends what your looking for in the relationship. Its definitely hard when you want to give someone you are attracted to a kiss and a hug and you can't, but does a relationship require those things, to me it seems counterproductive to suggest not being with someone emotionally, because you can't have that physical factor, which you want with just them.

I think you would need a webcam definitely, because its important to try and minimalize the distance as far as possible, and text/voice just isn't enough to maintain the connection... You also need to both work towards meeting up. A lot of intense communication is important, more so than a local relationship, a few days of limited communication is okay and not a problem for a local relationship, but for online it can be much worse.

As for deceiving you personality wise, well as far as text goes, then yes its very easy to pretend who you are, with voice it gets very very hard, and webcam near impossible because a recording wouldn't work as you genuinely respond to the other person. Again its easy to hide and deceive a person you meet where you are, hardly any abusive relationships start out abusive for example. Its exactly the same online, you talk to a person for several hours every day then you build up trust that they are acting and saying who they are, no differently from being offline.

I maintained a relationship online for four years, although I did meet her during that, it was primarily online, in the end it ended for reasons that wasn't to do with the distance, and I doubt whether the distance would have changed...

[Skeleton]

I wouldn't do it myself but I still support people who do. If they want to do that then so be, they can work as long as you're willing to make them work and deal with how hard they can be.

[PlayingPretend]

Originally Posted by Guardian_Angel

I have been in online relationships before, and they can be successful.

A lot of people have mentioned the trust, and how you don't know they are with other people or not; this is a misconception. Unless you literally live with a partner (and even then its very easily done) you are never around your partner all the time, there will be time unaccounted, and as long as there is that time, then your partner can be cheating on you, it does not change for online relationships.

As for the physical factor, it depends what your looking for in the relationship. Its definitely hard when you want to give someone you are attracted to a kiss and a hug and you can't, but does a relationship require those things, to me it seems counterproductive to suggest not being with someone emotionally, because you can't have that physical factor, which you want with just them.

I think you would need a webcam definitely, because its important to try and minimalize the distance as far as possible, and text/voice just isn't enough to maintain the connection... You also need to both work towards meeting up. A lot of intense communication is important, more so than a local relationship, a few days of limited communication is okay and not a problem for a local relationship, but for online it can be much worse.

As for deceiving you personality wise, well as far as text goes, then yes its very easy to pretend who you are, with voice it gets very very hard, and webcam near impossible because a recording wouldn't work as you genuinely respond to the other person. Again its easy to hide and deceive a person you meet where you are, hardly any abusive relationships start out abusive for example. Its exactly the same online, you talk to a person for several hours every day then you build up trust that they are acting and saying who they are, no differently from being offline.

I maintained a relationship online for four years, although I did meet her during that, it was primarily online, in the end it ended for reasons that wasn't to do with the distance, and I doubt whether the distance would have changed...

I agree with this.

I'm in an online (we're meeting hopefully in the summer) relationship with someone currently, and one thing my mother has said about online/long-distance relationships is exactly that: that you can't trust they're not out there seeing somebody else, or even multiple people. Thing is that it's as possible for them to be out there cheating as it is for anyone else. Someone who cheats on you in a LDR/online relationship... It's likely they'd have cheated on you being with you in person, too, only nobody tells that part. Thing is that people are people. Some people are going to use it being online/long-distance as an excuse to cheat, and some aren't.

I agree that the lack of a physical relationship is hard. There are moments where I'm overwhelmed with the want to hold my partner, to kiss my partner, to love my partner, etc. There are moments I'm overwhelmed with wanting to act like rabbits and do what comes naturally, too. But the thing is that that's not why I'm in the relationship, and it's not required for me to be in a relationship. Some people can't handle the lack of physical affection, and that's okay. But for others, it's not an immediate necessity.

As far as what else is said about webcam, I do believe that that's important, same as I believe speaking over the phone is important, not only for the reason that you can learn more about your partner (as in it is easier to deceive someone through a wall of text) but you can also develop a more personal relationship with that person.

[Sythan]

I said no, I need some for of physical contact for it to work for me. I don't see anything wrong with people who are in online relationships, if they want to then let them if they can make it work.

[Angel]

I am in a long distance relationship. My partner lives in the Netherlands and I live in New York. We met online years ago and became friends, and then lovers.

Such relationships are hard to maintain and can get sketchy if the two people involved aren't fully honest with each other. It would be such a generalization to say that everyone online is shady and perverts because it's simply not true. There are many good people that can be met online but not everyone gets so lucky.

[LaurenIsAwesome]

Originally Posted by SuperBrunetteCutie4Ever

What do you think of them? What's your opinion of people who are in an online relationship?

I don't mind online relationships but their not my cup of tea. I did have a crush on a boy I met online but I knew him 6 months before developing those emotions. Never had feelings like those for him beforehand. So I guess it's alright, as long as you know this person properly.

[SamMarie]

No. It just doesn't work.

[Kitty]

Because online leaves too much room for words to be filtered out. I know I do not say what I really want to say and even text and phone messages can leave out important clues. I know when I was sitting there with my friend and he was talking about his druggie wife, He didn't see me rolling my eyes or shaking my head at the stuff he was putting up with.

[Maloo]

It would never work for me. Nor would a long term long distance relationship. I need the person to actually be able to be with me.

[Crimsonkin]

Not a big fan of online relationships! Online friendships i love! I have a few online friends that i met here and we are best of friends.

[roller♥coaster]

Online relationships only work out if you, you know, eventually meet... which seems obvious, but a lot of people tend to treat couples who have already met in person differently from those who haven't yet, and that's just silly. You have to start somewhere.

I've learned the hard way that you can develop feelings for someone via the internet (even if you adamantly believe such a thing is impossible at that time!), and if both sides of the equation are willing to go the distance and try to make it work, it really can be successful.

It's worth noting that I'm not a highly physical person, so it's easy for me to go without that kind of contact for long periods of time. It's certainly not for everyone.

[Aestai]

depends on the circumsstances. like if i were to meet somebody, then really get to know them online, knowing i'll eventually see them again, then yes. Or if you know you can meet them in real life. but if its strictly online, never meeting, than no

[Acheron]

Only if meeting at least fairly regularly is an option. I'm physical. Without physical intimacy, I don't see the point of a relationship. But while it isn't ideal, I could manage it. That said, I tend to look down on relationships that are entirely internet-based. If the partners aren't meeting at all, it just doesn't look like a real relationship to me.

[Heartlines.]

Really, I think it depends on the person and how much you're going to see them.
But physical is a huge aspect in relationships. I don't see a point in it if you never meet.

[killrsRquiet]

well i feel people have already said this but i would never be in one again because there is a huge difference in talking with someone online and actually being in their presence. one thing that unfortunately has to do with it is looks you cant exactly date someoen that your completely not attracted to and are just like ew dont touch me because that could be what ends up happening if you were to meet that person in real life and everything would be just awkward because your not use to seeing the face and the actual reactions of the person your so use to talking to online. but dont get me wrong you can meet some awesome people online really but its no good for a relationship. you also need to know the habits of the person and how reliable they are which you get more of a feel for when they are there with them.

[Marshmellow]

I could never be in a purely online relationship, because I honestly don't see the point. If you're never planning on meeting in person, then there's absolutely no point to it. You're only wasting each others' time.

I've fallen in love with someone I met online before, and it only resulted in me spending hours and hours at my computer screen, waiting for that person to come online. It only resulted in me losing my own time, time that could have been spent finding someone I could see in person and have a physical relationship with.

That relationship never escalated to anything more than friends, simply because he was against meeting people he met online in person, and at the time I was too. Growing up, I had it drilled in my head that you should "never talk to strangers" and "all people online are creeps."

Now, I'm not against the idea of meeting people online. I'm not against the idea of finding someone who I could meet in person online. However, for me to ever "date" someone I met online, I would have to meet them in person before we actually began dating. And also, they would have to already live within a reasonable distance of where I live (driving distance, which is no longer than three hours for me). I'm not flying across the world to meet someone I met online. My step-uncle did that; he flew to the Philippines to meet a girl he met online. I'd never do that.

[Mandiie&&NoahTanner]

I've been in many online relationships, and they haven't worked for me, personally. I do know one person who makes it work. They webcam all the time, and they've met, but I never met a person. I don't think online relationships work though, because you never start off truly knowing who the person really is. But I just don't know. That's my opinion.

[The Morrigan]

If it was purely online then I don't think I could do it. I like physical contact and actually spending time with the person.

That said, I met my current boyfriend online and we've met loads of times since and it's probably the healthiest and best relationship I've actually had

[Noah Zomby]

I clicked "Maybe?" as like an in between thing. I've had 3 online relationships. Though, only one, maybe two-... no, all three of them were actual relationships. Two of them were with girls I had already met when I lived in Florida. One of them was a school friend I had in kindergarten and/or first grade. She had a crush one me (I could tell) and then one day I found her and we started talking and I thought I was in love with her. Heh, I actually had a couple of romantic daydreams of me and her together. The other one was a home-school friend I met when I was maybe 8. She loved me. I was her first love. Though, because I was so naive about love and crushes and stuff, I had no idea. And when I look back on it, I realized that I did kind of loved her. This one was like the other where one day I found her, we started talking again, and I thought I was in love. This one was definitely more of love than the other one was, by a lot. The last one was probably the longest, maybe. I met her through like a picture of one of my friend's comment thing on facebook and we started talking and we found out we had a lot in common, then one day she told me she liked me and I liked her too. And then we would keep on talking and stuff until we started to say "I love you" to each other. We had like fantasies of us being together and, heh, we actually like planned out a date night if we were older. All of these relationships (except the third one, she broke up with me for some deceiving asshole-douche-bag because she basically lost interest in me) ended because we just stopped talking as much. Maybe. I can't really remember.

Sorry for the long stories and such. This was a weird part in my life.
But I don't like long distance relationships. 1. You don't really know someone until you've met them in person. 2. I want something I can hold onto. Someone I get to see and hug and kiss (that's the main reason I took my first real break-up so hard. I finally had someone I could see and hug and kiss. A real relationship I could hold onto. And then she ups and breaks my heart into a million pieces because she lost interest like the third inline one).

Do I like them? No. Would I be able to do it again? Maybe.

[Peppermint Tea.♥]

I said no, because in my opinion an online relationship is even worse than a long distance relationship, and I couldn't cope with long distance when I was in one. It just seems... odd, to be in a relationship with someone you've never met.