"Why Did You Get Married?" or "Why Are You Getting Married?"

PSY

Three of my friends have gotten married over the past two years. One married her husband because she was essentially hung out to dry by her family members. She loved him, but I don't think she would have rushed into marriage if she hadn't been put in such a difficult position. A little over two years later, she has announced that the two are no longer going to be together. Another friend married her husband for love, but also for financial security (she was a single mother at the time, and he was a member of the Armed Forces; therefore, she wanted the benefits of being married vs. just dating). Her marriage seems to be doing well enough, but he's currently deployed and she's struggling to get through college while raising her toddler. Yet another friend married her husband purely for financial reasons - she admitted this to me. She loved him, but she needed medical insurance; therefore, they bumped their wedding up by a year, possibly even more.

Maybe this is just a freak coincidence in my life - but it SEEMS like every young woman I know is getting married for financial security. I mean, they all planned to get married sooner or later because they loved their partners... but they got married SOONER vs. later BECAUSE they felt marriage would provide certain comforts that simply dating would not. So now I'm curious.

To all the young men and women on TeenHelp: why did you get married, or why are you getting married? Is it simply because you love each other and believe now is the right time to take that next step in your relationship? Or is it because you feel it's necessary to get married, whether it be for financial, emotional, or physical security?

To those who aren't married or getting married, but have young adult friends who are married or are getting married, what were their reasons, and how are their relationships faring now?Are they stronger now that they are spouses, or do you believe they were better off just dating?

Harmony♥

I have a series amount of friends getting married this year, and in the next couple of years. I remember talking to you about this Robin, since I was feeling a little low after more and more of my friends were becoming engaged and I was not.

Jason and Julie: They're perfect for each other. Of course, there is a large age gap between them. He's 30, and she'll be turning 21 in July, but that has never bothered them, or anyone else for that matter. They are great together, and they are definitely getting married out of love, and not for any other reason. Of course, I think they're choosing to get married a little bit sooner since he is in the Armed Forces, and will most likely be deployed within the next year or year and a half. She wants to be able to move to his post with him, as a married couple, and that makes perfect sense to me.

Aubrey and John: They don't have a wedding date yet, however, they've been engaged for over a year. I'm kind of mind boggled by them. She attached herself to him because her family isn't the greatest. She doesn't have a stable living situation, and her mother is on the verge of crazy. However, they, too are getting married out of love. She works over 60 hours a week to pay her pills, and she is a server, so they don't make a ton of money. And, he is working two jobs while going to school. It's going to be difficult for them, just like everyone else, but I don't doubt their relationship.

Heather and Tony: I don't know why they're together. They are two completely different people. In appearance, and in their minds. She's about 5'6" or so, and he's only about 5'3". They are an odd combination. They're marriage won't last, or their engagement might not. He's got a history of cheating, and I think they're getting married out of just comfort. They've been together for almost 6 years, and engaged only a few months. It's crazy, but they already have a wedding date picked out and such, but it's two years away. Nobody knows what is going to happen in two years, you know?

Out of everyone I mentioned so far, I think Jason and Julie will be the one to have an everlasting marriage.

Jocelyn.

We got married because we found out we were pregnant and I needed to get on his insurance. We ultimately decided it was a good decision to get married for this reason because we love each other and felt we could spend the rest of our lives together.

If anything, being married makes us work harder at our relationship knowing everything that would be involved with a divorce

We had been together for about two years when we got married, and there was no engagement period. I really can't say if we'd still be together if we hadn't gotten pregnant and then married, but I'd like to think so.

Lu82

I dont believe in marriage , and i dont plan on getting married.

rac146

My sister got married quicker when she got pregnant. She had been engaged for about a month when she found out. She got married a month later, so was only engaged for 2 months. They had dated for I think about 9 months prior. They are getting a divorce because he was abusive, but they currently have a plantonic friendship for their son.

PlayingPretend

My mother ended up dropping out of grad school for my father. I believe she got married in her mid 20s. She'd already gotten her MA, he'd convinced her he could take care of her, and she wanted a family and children more than anything, so she dropped out halfway through to her PhD. Not sure how long they'd been engaged before then. He was extremely abusive, but she stayed married to him 19 years before finally accepting that it wasn't going to work and that it was never going to. She did what couples shouldn't (in my opinion), and stayed together for me and my sister. So my mother got married out of what I consider (as does she) was both her love and naivete, and her want to settle down and start a family. He promised to take care of her, sure, but financial stability was not what was on her mind when she considered/wanted it.

I kid around with her and tell her she married him so she could have her own sperm bank.