Female Advice Preferred: "relationships" and how i've never had any

[BoneAndDream]

i read posts about how someone is upset because they had an argument with their bf/gf about something. im thinking, "wow, aren't you lucky that somebody loves you, and actually cares about you and what happens to you"

nobody cares about me. how I feel. what I think. how it is to be ME. nobody loves me. i always thought it would be so great, just to have someone that loves you and makes you feel better when you feel like sh*t which i usually do. its like the worst feeling ever not having somebody there for you. but as the story goes, i am forgotten. just like i have been all of my life.

you know, it really makes you feel like you are nothing when you see everyone around you, happy in their "relationships". they smile. they have a reason to get themselves out of bed in the morning and go to school and enjoy it. i dont smile. i get out of bed every day and go to school knowing that i will be without someone to turn to if something happens. where nothing changes for me. because i just cant seem to make it change.

i really wish that i could have the courage to talk to/approach them. i really wish i knew what to say to them. when to say it. how to act. how to "read between the lines". how to form just basic interactions with them like everyone i know seems to already know how to do....and im the only one who doesn't know. how to "flirt" with them(again, i see people do this all the time, but for some reason i cant figure out how to do it myself). for gods sake the only times i ever talked to girls are when 1:the rare occasion they actually say something to me first 2:if i need something (pencil, eraser, etc) 3:when its help with something school-related.

i feel like i should know these things by now.... im 100% retarded when it comes to this.....

[BluEiis]

Hun, first of all, let me inform you, Middle School is a bitch. And you may feel like if you don't have a bf/gf like everyone else, your life sucks.. but that isn't true. There is so much more to life than Middle-High School games and crisises (crisii? ) Lol.......but honestly. You're thirteen, live your life. Go have fun. Do crazy shit that only someone your age can do! Don't think about what you don't have, think about what you do have. Don't compare your life to ANYone else's. You are ONLY thirteen, don't worry about this stuff. Eighty percent of highschool relationships don't last beyond highschool. Not to mention, at your age, girls aren't worth the drama they come with. Save love for when it will last, and really mean something to the both of you.

[Littlebylittle]

I agree, your thirteen, i felt how you felt not long ago; still kind of do tbh, its true what they say, guys aren't worth my time, and in your case girls.
I have two friends, well 4, but yeah - one of them, they're only 14, and been together 11months today on the dot actually. But how often does that happen? almost never. I always think, I'll get my turn to have my teenage proper relationship, it'll come don' worry about it, the majority of real relationships happen at ages 15-17 in my opinion

[Aletheia*]

I agree with the above poster. You're 13; you have plenty of time to have relationships. Just because you don't have one now, doesn't mean that you never will. Once you hit high school, and start meeting new people, it becomes a lot easier for you. Middle school is definitely a bitch. But, there is time. And, don't assume that nobody loves you; you have a family that loves you, and your never forgotten there, simple as that. Having a relationship is just more than having someone to love, and someone to love you back. Relationships can be difficult, and often times don't even work out; are you prepared to deal with the heart break of losing someone?

Just be patient. I honestly believe that there is someone out there for everyone. When the time is right, you'll meet her and you'll just know.

[SamMarie]

Middle school relationships don't even last. So, the people you see with these "relationships" per say, won't be in a relationship within the next year. I know what you mean when you envy these happy relationships, but it doesn't really happen until you enter High School or College when things are more relationship-based. You'll always have that envious feeling when break ups happen as well. I guess it's just a part of human nature to feel that way from time to time. I didn't even get my first relationship until I was 15.

[PSY]

Originally Posted by OfThePoisonHeart

they smile. they have a reason to get themselves out of bed in the morning and go to school and enjoy it. i dont smile. i get out of bed every day and go to school knowing that i will be without someone to turn to if something happens.

That is a poor reason to enter into a relationship with someone. You shouldn't date someone so you have a reason to get out of bed every morning. When dating someone, you should already be comfortable with who you are as an individual. You shouldn't have to date someone in order to feel "whole" or "complete". People who enter into relationships in order to feel that way do not grow. They latch onto their partners, becoming clingy and dependent upon them for their own happiness. They no longer make decisions for their own sake - they live their lives for their partners.

So while I can understand why you are lonely and want to have that special connection with a girl, try to realize that, if LONELINESS is your main motive for wanting a relationship, then you're wanting a relationship for the WRONG reason. You should want a relationship because you met a girl whom you adore and want to become closer to. Right now, you don't have a girl singled out - you're still trying to master the art of talking to girls in general. And that does NOT come naturally for everyone, so don't worry if it takes you a few years to become comfortable with the idea of flirting and asking girls out. At your age, you should be having fun with your friends, not worrying about whether or not you can get a girlfriend. Besides, hardly any middle school relationships last for more than a year, let alone for the rest of a person's life (probably because people are getting into those relationships for the wrong reasons, ex. because they're lonely/desperate).

Master the art of making friends before you try to master the art of developing romantic relationships with girls. Learn to love YOURSELF before you learn to love anyone else. This takes time - we can't give you tips that will instantly make you a chick magnet. If you truly have the desire to better yourself as a person, though, then girls will begin to find you more attractive (confidence = attractive), and they'll want to approach you. In return, you'll gain further confidence to approach girls, first as friends, then as potential girlfriends. =)

[Crimsonkin]

Dude i know how you feel i have only ever had 1 relationship with a girl and i think that maybe coming to an end here soon. Im 26. But im sure you will find someone your still young.

[Lost510]

As stated above, middle school is terrible. Personally, I think it's worse than high school. While the drama escalates to a teenage level, the maturity is still elementary school. I wouldn't worry about dating right now because of that fact. Kids still don't know who they are, what they want, or how to behave at that age, including yourself. I know I didn't, and I'm not sure anyone I went to school with did either. Sit tight, high school is ahead and many doors will open!

[imissyou]

heya,
i was nearly 19 when i had my first proper relationship, i felt how you are feeling. but i am so glad that i didnt always go into these stupid "relationships" that people around me did. there wasnt any real love there. they thought it was cool. in my eyes, now, it wasnt. as said before, you need to be happy with yourself, as this has just ruined my relationship. it was a case of right person, wrong time. and that will hurt if it happens to you. so please try and love yourself first, it can be difficult, but its the best thing you can ever do. be patient, and in time, someone will come along and you will fall head over heels for them. but in the mean time, enjoy life and all the rest of the things it has to offer, because it can be great! things have a way of working out, and one day they will in the relationship department for you! just chill for now
xx

[LiveLifeZara]

Well, you're thirteen, you're young, but you're not a child. Though people probably do treat you like one. You have plenty of time to find the girl for you.

Middle school is a bitch, you're going to loose friends, break hearts and have your heart broken. And this will happen all the way through highschool, I'm still going through it now and I wish it would be over quickly. But, back onto you...

I am truly sorry that you're going through a rough patch right now, and if you need to talk about it, I'm here. I am close to your own age so it might help. Or maybe talk to a trusted family member or friend and see if they can help you out..

I hope I helped you out a little.

[Noah Zomby]

You're thirteen. You're too young. The people who you see around in middle school who are in a "relationship" won't last very long at all, and even though they may say they're in love, they aren't. You need to develop yourself befire you get into an actual relationship. You're not sure who you are yet. You want something, but you don't know what yet. Middle school is NOT the place to get into a real relationship. Like what was said before, middle school has the drama level of high school, but the maturity of elementary school. You just need to wait a little while. When you get into high school, make yourself known. Show off what you have to show. The skills you've developed instead of giving all your time to relationships. If it makes you feel better, the first real relationship was when I was just a few weeks away from turning 15, and that relationship was short lived.

You need to wait and develop yourself. Then when you get into high school, make yourself well known and show off the things you have developed. You're not ready yet. Just hold out a little longer. You'll have your time.