I keep hurting this person, but inside he hurts me.

[loveme_x]

So theres this guy ive dated before and had a crush on since 9th grade (im in 12th) and i still have feelings for him....
We started dating when me and my current boyfriend of two years took a break...
He didn't really act like a boyfriend when he saw me and act like he never wanted to talk to me or be around me so i broke up with him & he took it pretty hard and blocked me on facebook.
So i tried & tried to say sorry and he refused to listen to me. Because i didn't know he had personal problems of his own,
On & off since then he'd be friendly to me & talk to me, and other times he'd act real stuck up like he doesn't even know me.
I go to him for advice occasionaly he basically says the same thing like he really loves me and wants the best for me and whatever. & I feel really loved.
Then he gives me the cold shoulder once again.
He was invited to our prom ( he graduated last year) and i desired to speak to him but i didn't but he grabbed my arm a couple of times and danced with me, and i felt special for that one minute we were together...

I made a new facebook for future business reasons like back in december and i added him. I visit that page sometimes to see what hes up to or i might text him and he'll probably text me back.

But that all changed today, i tagged him in a post on facebook. & He put up a status that im pretty sure was towards me, saying stuff like "You had your chance & you blew it" and i put up some statues back, and i finally IMed him to clarify that i didn't want a relationship from him only friendship so he yelled at me back saying that status wasn't about me and whatever so i yelled at him back & he finally said stay out of his business & he blocked the new Facebook.

I felt a knife go through my heart at one moment, i told his friend to tell him i was sorry but he never replied so i decided to find a way to text him, but i stopped myself in the process remembering that i have a boyfriend to lean on & other friends.
I think i value his friendship more than he value's mine. I was thinking of waiting a while and giving him time before i say sorry for my behavior, i feel wrong this time & i need some self-control.
Please someone, advice ??

[Aletheia*]

The best advice I can give you is advice that you've already given yourself <3

Give him his space. If he's having personal problems, this could be a factor as to his behavior. Acting nice one minute, then acting like a jerk the next. I'm sure it really has nothing to do with you, so don't take it too personally when he gets upset. People tend to act out when they have their own personal things going on, and tend to take it out on other people without realizing.

Give him some time before you say your sorry. People can only hear that so many times before it starts to become unbelievable. When you think it's been long enough, try contacting him. Let him know that you didn't realize that he would have gotten so upset or you wouldn't have said anything at all.

I wish you the best of luck <3

[loveme_x]

Thanks, thats the best ive heard all year

[Random_Hero]

he is playing games bc hes upset he wants u to hurt as much as he did when yall broke up and im guessing thats bad bc hes rewarding you for being sad by saying he loves you but as soon as u cheer up he is cold and dosnt like that ur happy without him and probably feels u arent upset enuff like if u cryed and told him everything you feel about him and why you regret losing him and why you loved him not just the obvious things eather write the essay in your head and present recite it over and over then rewording it is the best way to express your emotions to someone bc it alows you to let everything not st be heard but i think u should think about this before you do it bc u need to know hes worth it not jst make exusses for him in your head if he acts like a child and treats u like shit then maby he isnt worth it as much as think at the moment u know

just speculating as to y hes acting that way and what he may want of course it isnt your fault i dont beleive that i beleive hes extreamly upset i do beleive he loves you but i dont think hes perfect and noone is

[loveme_x]

Well, i felt alotta anger build inside of me & was like forget it & him ! & I texted him from the yahoo chat ( i never use that email anyways so ill never go back to it) and said that he wins and ill never talk to him again, i deleted him from oovoo and my fone....but i wish from my mind....i cant stop thinking about him, i want to get back on yahoo just see what he said, he prolly didn't say much, prolly something harsh idk....i wanna call him with my feelings one day after a longgg time of not speaking to him, just to tell him one last time of why i went through what i did with him....