Big trouble in my relationship... Please help...

[sasaboo]

Okay, I've been dating the greatest guy in the world for over a year now... And I couldn't love him any more than I do. Even still, I love him more each day. But we've been through the ringer and back so many times in a row. I've been struggling with depression the entire time, and it's completely destroyed the relationship. I haven't been able to really show him how much I care for him because I've just been so consumed with myself. Before the relationship, I was carefree and happy (in his eyes) and I was just so excitable, and that's what he fell in love with.

Now... I've completely wrecked all the love he had for me. I've put him through so much, and it just hasn't been fair to him. I've told him time and time again that I would fix it, because all I want is to make him happy-- and it's true. But I've needed to be put on medication for a long time, and I'm only just getting some next week. I kept talking myself out of it. But I'm doing it for him, this time. The problem is... he doesn't love me as his girlfriend anymore. He's told me that. He's willing to try ONE last time, and after that... we can only be friends. Problem is, I'm still very much in love with him.

I want to make it up to him somehow, but he says he doesn't want that. He just wants me to be better for a while and see if he can fall back in love with me. I'm terrified out of my mind. More than losing him as a boyfriend, I can't stand the thought of losing him as a FRIEND. He knows everything about me. I can go to him with whatever I need to. But I've been so selfish this entire time, that I may not ever get that back.

I know I can't make him fall back in love with me... but can anyone give me any tips on how I can at least try? I'm gonna do what he wants, which is not go overboard to try to "make it up to him". Just... Please help. I know that if it doesn't work out, it isn't the end of the world. But I also know that the relationship is salvageable. I can fix it, but I need help and support. I don't want to lose the person who's more important to me than anyone has ever been. He really is my best friend. He says I'm still his, and that he loves me, just not like that. But I have about a month to win him back. And if I revert back into depression, he's gone for good. I'm scared the pills won't help.

Please, I'm begging. I want to be the one who makes him happy. Help.

P.S. Sorry for the insanely long post.

[Aletheia*]

Hey sasaboo,

Unfortunately, there aren't really any tips for you other than: try to get better and salvage the relationship. You can't make someone fall in love with you, no matter how you try. If you want to make him happy, get the medication you need and take it regularly. This will make him happy, to see you start to get better, or even make a recovery from your depression.

[PSY]

Focus on your recovery. Take the medication, and set up regular therapy appointments as well (if your insurance doesn't cover it, look for a non-profit/low-cost clinic that offers counseling services, or look for support groups that meet regularly in your area). Focus on your recovery, and everything else will start to click into place. Your boyfriend doesn't want you to go overboard in "proving" your love for him because he knows that's easy to do, and it's only temporary. What he wants to see is a permanent change, a constant striving toward your goals, even if it isn't easy. He wants a healthy, happy girlfriend - and being overly adoring now won't prove anything to him.

[SamMarie]

Maybe the best thing to do is take a break/space from the relationship (not a break up), but if he is willing to give you another chance, then maybe he'll be considerate with giving you space until you recover. If he can't handle that, then I'm afraid you'll have to let the relationship go. You realize that although you need this, he also needs himself. If he isn't happy, then eventually he will let go. The only person that change yourself is yourself. No one can change anyone. I strongly recommend taking time off with the relationship by going through therapies, support, ect. Even though you need the love and care right now, relationships are stressful. If he isn't willing to go through this or help you out anymore, maybe he just isn't someone you should love. I believe you should love yourself before you let other people love you. So, do this for your own good. I understand you love him, but it seems that there are two different mindsets. And it really isn't good when your own boyfriend is giving you one last shot because he seems to have given up already.