Triggering: I can't help it

[lea-x-fallen]

Okay, I know there are so many reasons I shouldn't be with my boyfriend.

• he's 24, I'm nearly 17
• met him online
• he is totally messed up, recovering annorexia, self harmer, was in an abusive relationship for sevral years in which he was scared and caused him to be homeless for a bit

But we are like best friends. Now dating.

I know it isn't forever, but he thinks it is, gets all upset if I say it isn't. Actually have had him on the phone crying about how he wanted to die as well as a load of other shit he has got into.

Now I feel like if anything happens I know, well I feel sure he'll go back to drugs, self harm, and kill himself. He thinks he needs me, I have realised he only loves me probably cause I was there for him and I listen.

It scares me because I can see thisdestroying him, I'm not ready for forever and how big a commitment is, have told him that I feel too much of a kid, and he says I'm not. It causes arguements if I mention it.

I don't knwo what to do. I feel I should end it now, my mum knows we are friends, but nothing else and sees the age gap as too big. I love him, but I think it's more as a friend because dating has so many problems, and I honestly dont trust him not to do somethign bad.

And as bad as this, I may as well be honest, what if I fall in love with someone else? It happens, it's just going to kill him, he's even told me that.



Sorry this is so long. Thanks xxx <3

[Aletheia*]

Hey Leanne,
Firstly, I do think it's great that you are so concerned about him. He does seem a bit messed up, and needs to get professional help. Have you tried telling him this? There are some things that you just can't do, that a professional can do. He needs a lot of help, and you can only do so much for him.
If you think that the relationship isn't going to go anywhere, but you're worried that he might try to harm himself if you left, it's time to be truthful with your mother and let her know. Telling a trusted adult is the best that you can do, since he needs to be watched carefully so he doesn't do anything of those things. It doesn't have to be your mother, it could be his or even a close friend of his. Just get into contact with someone about it.
Don't feel obligated to stay with him because he has threatened to harm himself in the past. You are too young to have to deal with all these hardships that he is facing, and this is a point that he does not see.
Just do your best to get him the help he needs before you try to leave him.
Take care,
Shannon

[lea-x-fallen]

Thanks, and his mum does know. If we do split I know it'll never be before I'm sure he'll be okay

Thanks so muhc x

[lea-x-fallen]

Okay, i explained it all to him in a blog post because i made it for him to explain things, he now thinks we are over and its going into an arguement help!

[Aletheia*]

Originally Posted by lea-x-fallen

Okay, i explained it all to him in a blog post because i made it for him to explain things, he now thinks we are over and its going into an arguement help!

Just kindly explain to him that you aren't breaking up with him, you just think it was time for a serious talk and that is he taking it way too far.

[lea-x-fallen]

I have =) its all okay.
He just freaked out xxx