Scary love

[justfallinginlove]

So I've been involved with this guy for awhile but we aren't dating, I am completely in love with him and i can see it in his eyes that he loves me too. But with him its 1 step forward 2 steps back it seems. I think he's afraid to fall in love. Any advice?

[Madeleine.Claire]

There isn't really anything you can do to make him fall in love. I'm glad that you found someone who you think you're in love with though (:

Maybe you could just ask him about it? Not necessarily if he's in love with you, but just say something like you did up there about 1 step forward 2 steps back. Some more information would probably help me give a little bit better advice like your age, his age, how long you've been together/known each other?

Anyways, hope this helps (:

<3

[Aletheia*]

Hi there,
I completely agree with Maddie.

There isn't anything you can do to force him to fall 'in love' with you. His feelings need to come from himself, not be forced from him to you. This can lead to a seriously dangerous and unexciting relationship.

Openly speaking to him about what you both what is what you need to do. If he wants a relationship, great. If not, move on. Find a guy who is going to want to have a relationship with you and not keep you going back and forth about what he wants and what he doesn't.

Take care,
Shannon

EDIT: Posted this as Dreamer was posting as well =]

[Dreamer]

First of all; Welcome to TH!

And, about your post; If someone's afraid of falling in love it's often because they've had bad experiences in the past, seen someone else (close friend or family member perhaps) have a bad experience, or just don't want to be hurt (of course it can be a combination of two or three of these, as well as something else). It's not something that one easily gets over, and my advice is that you show him that you like him, and maybe be a little too clear about it. Like hugs, cuddling, perhaps even telling him. Because if he likes you, and you tell him that you like him too, it's easier for him to act on his feelings, if he's afraid to fall in love.

I hope that things work out between you two, and that this was at least a little bit helpful!

[justfallinginlove]

Well i defiantly don't want to force him to fall in love with me. I want it to come from him.

Maddie: Ive talked to him before...doesnt seem to do much, you know guys haha. Anyways we're both 15 but mature for our age. We've been really great friends for 2 years now. Hes not that typical guy, he knows the world isnt perfect and he deals with some stuff himself. Hes that guy i was talking about in the other post u responded too also if you know the song Fall for you by second serenade he sent that to me and thats what gives me hope about our relationship, that and how supportive he is for me and everything.

Dreamer: He has had bad experiences in the past, two i believe, and he has openly said he just doesnt want to be hurt. He knows how i feel about him cuz my big mouth best friend texted him haha (kinda glad she did tho) and then we talked about it.

Also yall we've...er...been kinda phisical with eachother. Like sexually, nothing harmful. And they say after that a chemical flows to your brain as a female that causes you to emotionally attach. Does that happen with guys too?

Thanks so so much.

[Aletheia*]

Originally Posted by justfallinginlove

Well i defiantly don't want to force him to fall in love with me. I want it to come from him.

Maddie: Ive talked to him before...doesnt seem to do much, you know guys haha. Anyways we're both 15 but mature for our age. We've been really great friends for 2 years now. Hes not that typical guy, he knows the world isnt perfect and he deals with some stuff himself. Hes that guy i was talking about in the other post u responded too also if you know the song Fall for you by second serenade he sent that to me and thats what gives me hope about our relationship, that and how supportive he is for me and everything.

Dreamer: He has had bad experiences in the past, two i believe, and he has openly said he just doesnt want to be hurt. He knows how i feel about him cuz my big mouth best friend texted him haha (kinda glad she did tho) and then we talked about it.

Also yall we've...er...been kinda phisical with eachother. Like sexually, nothing harmful. And they say after that a chemical flows to your brain as a female that causes you to emotionally attach. Does that happen with guys too?

Thanks so so much.

I wouldn't say that guys are emotionless creatures, but they definitely don't show it. If he has felt an attachment to you, he is most likely keeping it to himself.

Regardless of conversations in the past, you'll need to get an answer out of him. I wouldn't want to keep wasting my time on someone who isn't given me a straight answer about whether or not he wanted to be with me.

[bipolar]

you can't force him to fall in love with you. guys are kind of funny. they can be SO shy with a girl and REALLY outgoing with friends. if i were you, i would tell him how i feel. once its out there, it would be easier for him to confess what he feels.

[justfallinginlove]

yall he defiantly knows how i feel. We talked about it last night. And right now our relationship is going uphill, i just want to figure out how to prevent another step back. And i dont mean by forcing him to love me! See i can see it in his eyes that he already loves me, the problem is hes having trouble admitting it, not me trying to make him love me.