Odd situation, input appreciated.

[Ambiance]

Details that are important: my boyfriend's super nice, we have a good relationship, we've been together a long time, and he honestly is one of the good guys out there. and we're both in high school still.

Today, he suggested that when he moves (to a larger city, soon), he and I "get to know" other people; he explained: no sexual contact/kissing, and he thinks it would be good for us just to experience other people company, like just going on dates with them is all I could gather, this idea wasn't entirely clear to me. I was bothered because he knows I've been worried about him meeting newgirls when he moves and being more interested in them than me, and he's repetitively told me that I was his one and only blahblahblah. Anyway, there was that, and now there's this, which is confusing, and scarey, because it seems to be kind of what I was afraid of. I told him: a.) this fun idea could have a million outcomes, some of them might not be good, seeing as he confirmed he does want to stay together. b.) doesn't seem fair to the other people involved. c.) was our relationship strong enough to get back together at the end of this? We have considered taking "breaks" before, but only for the sake of personal space, it was always clearly specified that other people would not be involved. It actually really bothered me, and we put the topic down for a while, then when I mentioned it again, he said he wasn't keen on the idea anymore.

Thing is, I'm kind of thinking I am now. At first it scared me, but it seems like it could be a good idea. However, I'm worried that him suggesting it at all means something bad for our relationship. Or it could just be something else entirely. Anyway, I'm curious about other people's input, anyone who's had a similar experience or any opinions, really.

[Nova]

Well, never been in this situation myself. Not sure how I would handle an idea like that. But since you seem to be warming to the idea, I'll ask this: what changed your mind? Perhaps you understand where he is coming from now? And this it would be a good idea to get to know other people in the dating scene.

Of course, doing so is going to run the risk of you finding someone else you could develop feelings for. Just remember that if you choose to go through with this. Because you will have to live with those consequences on either side.

Knowing that, if you are still comfortable with this idea you could bring it up again and tell him why you changed your mind. I was only speculating but perhaps it is because your insecurities made you feel as if this was his way out but now you understand how this could help your relationship (if you think it could) and you understand why he suggested it ( which you seem to have a grasp on since you've changed your mind).

Just remember the risk.

Good luck.

[Aletheia*]

Hello,

You've already made some valid points. It could have several possible outcomes: he begins liking someone new, you begin liking someone new, and a million others. And, the other one: it's not fair for the other people involved. People can quite easily become attached, especially if they don't know the situation. Say, he goes on a date with a girl, and she's really feeling him, hoping to get a kiss at the end of the date. She doesn't get it, she's hurt and upset and he goes home to call you. Or vice versa. It's not exactly fair to anyone involved, including the both of you.

If you truly want your relationship to work, this situation isn't going to help. People can't help who they have feelings for, and this could easily tear your relationship apart, which it has been made clear that neither of you want.

How far is he moving away? Will you still be able to travel to see him?

If seeing other people is what he wants, or is what you want, I would break up with him. It's not fair to keep someone in a relationship, and then continue seeing other people as well. Nobody knows what can happen in a situation like this, and only time could tell. Ultimately, your decision is yours, but this my personal opinion.

[Ambiance]

Good points ^
I'm definately not keen on the idea now; I was just thinking the space would be nice. But, what does him suggesting that mean? I'm pretty sure he went back on what he said to avoid a fight.