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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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snbme Offline
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Question Why am I trying to fall out of love? - July 21st 2011, 10:48 PM

Hey guys, so I'm new to this. I've never done a blog, question forum, or anything of the sort. But with the issue I'm having, I thought it'd be a good time to start.
So last summer my boyfriend of two years dumped me...the monday after prom. I was a wreck. I mean WRECK. I didn't eat, hardly slept, always cried, and pretty much failed at life for a good while. I constantly texted, called, and tried to hang out with him. Buuut nothing worked. We just kind of moved on from each other. He got really into partying and drugs and all that...I had never done drugs, and I partied not too often, so I assumed he left me for that reason. Plus another girl he was into, but that sizzled down within a month. So come August, once I'm about to start senior year, I'm totally over it, and I'm ready to make it a great new year...he texts me saying he wants to get back together. Ass. So I say no, that I've moved on. But he DOES NOT drop it. He gets a little obsessive actually...he wrote me songs, talked to my friends constantly about me, and always texted me. Sadly...I kind of liked the attention, but I was settled on not getting back together. However, by October, I couldn't resist anymore. Bam, back together. I was really happy...up until January. Once I knew where I was going to college and everything, I just kind of got over him. Well not exactly, I still love him, but as a friend. I don't mean to sound condescending or anything, I'm really not a judgmental person, it's just that he's going to community college and I'm going to a university and living in the dorms. Is it bad to want freedom? We'll still be close to each other, but I don't feel like continuing this relationship into college. But I'm scared. I don't know how to tell him without breaking his heart. But at the same time, he broke mine into a million pieces and didn't seem to think twice about it. I always try to think of his flaws, or find a reason to break up, so I don't feel like a b**** for doing it just because I've lost feelings...but that's a big enough reason right? Ugh, I just hate break ups, period. Plus, I want to stay friends, but that never works. He's a sensitive guy, so I'm scared of what he'll do...to himself. Please...I just need someone to give me an answer that makes sense, because frankly, my head and heart are in a super battle right now.
   
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Re: Why am I trying to fall out of love? - July 21st 2011, 11:33 PM

The best thing to do would be to tell him the honest truth. You don't think that the relationship can last through college. There isn't anything wrong with freedom, since you've been together for quite some time, and you want to experience new and exciting things since you'll be living on a college campus. Being truthful would be the best thing for you to do.











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Re: Why am I trying to fall out of love? - July 21st 2011, 11:54 PM

I agree with what Shannon said, there is nothing wrong with wanting to have freedom, and if you don't think that you two can work out while you're in college, then there's no point in staying in the relationship. Just be completely honest with him about how you feel.

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Re: Why am I trying to fall out of love? - July 21st 2011, 11:57 PM

Yeah Just tell him. He will understand if he loves you.


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Re: Why am I trying to fall out of love? - July 22nd 2011, 02:34 AM

Sounds like you already got it covered yourself. Just sugar-coat it as much as humanly possible.
   
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Re: Why am I trying to fall out of love? - July 22nd 2011, 04:54 AM

What all of you are saying is exactly what I've told myself. It's just so much easier said than done. I need to get up the courage, I'm just so scared to lose him completely. I asked him today if he could ever just be my friend. His answer was "I don't really have many friends who are girls." So I don't know how to take that?
   
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Re: Why am I trying to fall out of love? - July 22nd 2011, 05:07 AM

He may be initially hurt but if he truly cared about you he would hold onto the special friendship you guys have. Just take a breath and remember that you're not trying to hurt him you just want to branch out and start anew. Good luck!
   
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