Girlfriend Losing Weight

[Brandon]

This is the last thread I'm going to make about my girlfriend, but I'm worried about my girlfriend and I. When I started dating my girlfriend, she was more overweight/larger than I was; to me she was beautiful just the way she was, but she didn't accept that about herself. The reason why she went to Brazil in the first place was to have an operation that would take away part of her stomach so she wouldn't eat as much. Since she's been on a strict diet and can't eat much, my girlfriend has lost a significant amount of weight within these past 19-20 days since her operation. Soon enough, if she hasn't passed me already, she will be more skinny than I will.

What I'm concerned about is whether I should be worried about her finding someone else. In other words, I don't want her to come into this realization that she looks better than she used to and starts looking for guys who are more physically attractive than I am. She says that I deserve her at her best if I've deserved her at her worst, but a part of me says that she will get curious and end up finding someone who is more physically attractive than I am, and possibly even with a better personality. After all, she's a Biology major and certainly not stupid; she'll know that she can get better than me. The question is will she settle with what she has? Besides working out and losing weight, what should I do?

[♥ Choir. ♥]

I have no idea about the losing weight issue, and even if I did I probably wouldn't be the best one to answer that.

Keep reminding your girlfriend that you've been happy together so far, and you hope that it will stay this way and hopefully get better. If you're really concerned about her looking for someone else, talk to her.

And this might not mean much since I'm fourteen and a random girl on the internet, but I think you're handsome, no reason to worry about her not finding you attractive(if she has eyes that is).

Good luck.

[Aletheia*]

Again, your thinking too far ahead. Your girlfriend wouldn't want to lose you. You've been there for her for a long, long time. Through the best and worst times. She had this operation to better herself, for herself. If she wasn't comfortable with her weight, then she did what she thought was best. If she were thinking about leaving you, she would have shown signs of it already.

[Troubled_Heart]

If she loves you for who you are she will stay with you! As a biology major she will know everyone's differnt and if she find you attractive now she will in the future and looks are not everything! Xxx

[Revolution]

I would trust her that she'll love you no matter what. Trust me supportive of her weight loss, and of her in general, and she'll want to stay with you. There's no reason she'll want to be with anybody else.

[Le bonheur*]

Just trust her.

[Keyblade]

Lol dude I'm kinda on the same boat as her (even tho i didn't go to brazil and get part of my stomach removed) it's just a girl thing that girls get when they think they're fat. No matter how many times a guy would say "You're fine the way you are." Us girls like to experiment and see the after results of what a guy would say then when she has lost the weight (weird, yes I know ) But she won't leave you. If you're treating her right and making her happy she'll stay with you. Besides you said so yourself, she's not stupid after all

[Ambiance]

Well, she was with you initially because she finds you attractive. Her trying to become more attractive is probably something she's doing mostly for herself, but partially in order to get attention from you specifically.

[dr2005]

Honest answer: trust your girlfriend and stop over-thinking. If she's with you in the first place it'll be because she is attracted to you as a person, taking in both physical traits and personality, and unless something dramatically changes on either front curiosity alone will not carry her away from you. It sounds as if this was something she wanted to do for herself for her own self-image and self-esteem, whether it was necessary or otherwise, and not to improve her prospects as such. The danger lies in becoming too fixated on the physique side of things, because if you obsess over that to the detriment of everything else then the relationship WILL suffer and it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy. At worst, it could almost turn it into a tit-for-tat issue which causes problems inadvertently. I understand fully where you're coming from - as someone who used to do a lot of exercise I wonder about my physique and how it compares with others as well - but everything needs to be put into perspective and as long as your relationship is a healthy and happy one then that is what counts. Physical traits change, after all - who you are as a person as a whole is what counts.

[Autumnwind]

Shut up bro <3 (I say that with tough love) your girl picked you for a reason, so trust her. She's been with you since day one. You have a sexy mug, too (no homo (not that there is anything wrong with that, I'm just not that way)) just calm down and know she loves you for a reason. And maybe, show her even more support by going along this diet with her. You might be happier if you're a bit more healthy, I know I was once I started changing my lifestyle. But if not, then don't worry she's there for a reason buddy

[chook14]

You know it's likely that when she weighed more than you, she felt exactly the same but the other way around...she might have been scared that you would find someone else who you found more attractive. Trust me, she won't forget the fact that you've stood by her through all of this and loved her even when she wasn't happy with her body. Girls really value that kind of loyalty Also just because her appearance has changed it doesn't mean her personality has, she's still the same person on the inside as she was when you started dating. If you trusted her then, there's no reason not to trust her now. As someone else suggested, try following her healthy lifestyle with her...go to the gym together, cook healthy meals together etc

[blumemusik♫]

I think you should trust her. You've given her no reason to leave you, and she's losing weight so that you can have her 'at her best.' If she's willing to pay huge amounts of money and go through such a serious operation to try and make you happier, you have nothing to worry about <3

[belle.darcy]

Seems like I'm going to be the odd one in this discussion. I don't want to discourage you, but you should know one think: your girl is obviously really worried about her looks. If she pays attentions to them, she certainly pays attention to yours as well. This doesn't mean that when she has lost enough weight she will automatically leave you. BUT! Beware, you need to show her that you're doing your best to stay handsome and fit for yourself and for her. If you are lazy and eat only junk food, while waiting for her to return from the gym, you're on the path to failure. She likes you the way you are. But she will surely like you even better if you make an effort. Like she did.

[Jocelyn.]

You've always seemed so confidant when posting on these forums, but you speak so lowly of yourself when talking about yourself in your relationship. From what I can tell you are intelligent, clever, funny and (judging from pictures) good looking. You treat your girlfriend with kindness and respect, shower her with affection and seem to generally be in love with her. You need to stop kicking yourself and you certainly need to stop trying so hard and nit-picking every detail. Go with the flow, enjoy your relationship and each others company. That's what it should all be about. Of course there are compromises and sacrifices to be made in every relationship but you seem out to please this woman down to every last detail, and trying to make issues out of things that shouldn't be issues. Like others have said, this could be very exhausting for her and come of as clingy and needy.

As for her losing weight, good for her! I'm also in the process of losing weight and have lost a significant amount for myself AND for my husband. My husband is quite overweight and not once throughout my weight loss have I thought to myself "Man, if I can be skinny why can't he? I need someone who is good-looking enough for me now!" No, its been more along the lines of "Damn, he's going to think I'm sexy! I hope he enjoys my new body." Because I am doing it for him as much as I'm doing it for myself. I'm positive she feels the same