Non-PG13: My Best Friend Says He's Cheating

[brokensmilexx]

So I'll try and keep this as short as possible.
My best friend, whom I've known for like 8 years, sent me a message on fb saying my boyfriend was fucking some other girl. I live an hour away from them both, so yeah..
But I know the girl, and I obviously believed it. I mean its coming from my best friend. So I sent him a message saying I knew and that I wouldn't be coming down to see him anymore. He replied, pissed off and denied it. He said that they're lying (my best friend says she heard it from her boyfriend, and someone else). And then he proceeded to say if I believed them then fine but we were done. And that he didn't do anything. Then we talked on the phone..
I believe him. He says he likes me too much, that he wouldn't do that. The girl has a crush on him he admitted, and broke up with her boyfriend for him and flirts with him all the time. But he says they haven't kissed or anything.
He even wanted to talk to me and my best friend in person so we can figure this shit out..If he was really cheating on me I don't think he would have even said that. Or even bothered. Fuck I live an hour away! So if he was he could easily tell me and then end it there. He wouldn't even have to see me again.
But I don't get why my bestie would lie..I know she does lie. A lot, and to a lot of people. But about something like that? She hated when I wanted to go over to his house for one night..even though I was going to stay over at hers for two. She doesn't even like when we're hanging out to be honest..
I'm going to text her boyfriend later tonight or tomorrow, asking if he really said that. So I can see what he says and then go from there..
But I really don't know what to fucking do.
Either way someone I care about is lying to me, and either way I get hurt in the end );

[The Morrigan]

Hey there,

Well, you said your best friend heard from her boyfriend and someone else. Is it possible that your friend's boyfriend could be mistaken? That way your friend isn't really lying to you just relaying what she's heard.

However, based on what you're said about your best friend being mad at you for spending time with him it's possible that she's jealous so she could be lying. On the other hand, your boyfriend could be lying too.

I don't think there's a certain way to figure out who's lying unless one of them admits it but remember, boyfriends come and go but friends are forever (in most cases) and you're only 17 so I'm sure they'll be more boys in the future.

I think for now it might help if you step back and take some time to think about this. Perhaps try speaking to your friend's boyfriend about what he said or if you know the name of the girl he's supposedly cheated with you could contact her asking her for the truth.

I hope you get this situation figured out, take care

[Ambiance]

Well, what you're friend said was just hear-say information; it's VERY possible that this is some sort of rumor, maybe even started by the girl herself in order to get this very situation.

It's also possible that your friend is just jealous, given the details you've mentioned.

I would approach this situation by telling your friend exactly how you feel, in a very nice manner. Maybe even in the situation your boyfriend wanted; and you could even say it's his idea, so that puts no pressure on you. In said meeting, you would try to figure out exactly where the information came from and what evidence there is to be presented; this would rule out the possibility that he cheated, most likely. And this is a totally respectable thing to do.

However, if your friend's boyfriend says he didn't tell her anything, then you know she was just lying. In this case, you could gently confront her about it, and say that you're really sorry that this situation is being hard on her, but that she has a boyfriend as well, which could maybe help her understand why you want to spend time with your's. Explain that she is still your best friend, and you love her as a friend and want to remain friends, but you see complications ahead if she continues lying to you about these things.

[blumemusik♫]

I agree with the other posters, but I think it's up to you to make the decision of whether or not you think he's telling the truth or not.

I also think it's a good idea to sit down with the both of them and talk it all through

I hope things work out <3