questions?

[Nomophobia]

So, would you guys date someone who lives in the usa whilst you lived in the uk?(or that distance away) and if you would, how would you work the long distance??

[ReluctantPegasister]

I do not need a boyfriend who lives in Canada. I need a boy or girl who will support me. And you can't support someone you can't touch.

[Le bonheur*]

I could never be in a relationship with someone who lives in another country or in another state for that matter. I'd need them to be with me and hold me when things get tough. I am just that type of person and if someone can't physically be there for me, the relationship wouldn't be worth it to me.

[The Morrigan]

Originally Posted by Maeve

I do not need a boyfriend who lives in Canada. I need a boy or girl who will support me. And you can't support someone you can't touch.

I disagree with this completely. You don't ALWAYS need somewhere there physically to have them support you. My boyfriend lives 6 hours away and is very supportive of me even when I'm not with him.

As for the actual question, I'm not sure I could handle a distance as great as across and ocean myself since I do like the physical side of relationships too but I think some people can make it work, it depends if they're willing to work for it.

[WillO'Wisp]

Yes if I met them in person first. I'd expect either I'd move or he'd move if you want to make a relationship work long-term.

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

I wouldn't be able to do any type of long-distance relationship. I already have a hard enough time being away from my boyfriend for more than a week.

[Aletheia*]

I couldn't date someone who lived more than an hour or two away from me. I personally don't like online-dating, no matter how you meet them. Those people might not be who they say they are, and I wouldn't want to take the chance or risk of putting myself or anyone else in danger by doing so. I know online-dating works for a lot of people, but it's just me. I like the people I date to live nearby, so I can see them more than once or twice a year.

[Nicole!]

I would not. Relationships need some form of physical part, even if it is long-distance. And since it's online, you really can't trust anything people say. They could be completely different from what you think, and they could even have a boyfriend/girlfriend where they live that they aren't telling you about.

[PlayingPretend]

I have a couple times.

My last (and first) relationship was with someone who lived in England. It lasted around a year and a half before it ended. Despite some of its more notable issues, and despite the fact that it was more fun than serious (we were serious, as in, we were committed and cared deeply for one another, but I was aware from early-on that he was not who I wanted/was going to marry), it was a good relationship and we did get to spend time with one another in person, though not very much.

My current relationship is with someone who lives in Ireland, and we've really no intention of ending it. I'm currently here with him, staying for a month, and he'll hopefully be spending the entirety of next summer with me.

I do think that it's possible, but I also think that it's more difficult than it sounds like. I know some people who have been in online relationships for years yet neither have made the move to go see one another or had the resources available. I've known people who have been cheated on in online relationships. I've known one whose significant other (online, at the time) essentially dug his heels in about compromise and wanted her to drop everything (school included) to move to come be with him. The thing is that though all of those scenarios seem easy to say "that would never happen to me," and though all of those scenarios may have included people who are not cut out for LDRs, you have to consider that said scenarios also bring up some good points.

One thing to consider is that you don't truly know a person until you've met and been around them for some significant amount of time IRL. This goes for anyone no matter where you've met them. It's the same for if they attend your college as it is for if they live in an entirely different country. And this isn't saying, not at all, that everyone on the internet and their mother is a raging paedophile in their parents' basements throwing out made-up facts (though there are plenty of people who will use the toneless, stoic internet to their advantage as far as "facts" go) in attempt to seduce you and get you to send them naughty photos. It's saying that it's easy enough for someone to spit out this, this, or this about themselves. It's easy enough for someone to say they're some handsome, confident, lady-killer, etc. But as I'm sure you're aware, what you see isn't always what you get. There are people out there who are honest from the get-go and there are those who are full of shit; they exist offline and online. But you don't truly get to know who's who, you don't truly get to know what it's like being around someone and sharing a space with that person, until you do, so I think that that aspect is, obviously, limited in online relationships.

Another thing to consider is do you have the resources? Do you work? Do they? Are they able to make it to see you at least once or twice a year or vice versa? Do you live at home or on your own? If you live at home, what are your parents' opinions of it? I've never seen the logic behind "under the table" relationships, and this goes for online as well. It is so, so easy for so many people to make a point about how their parents wouldn't agree with their relationship because they met online etc etc. If this is the case for you, then no, I don't think it's a good idea. Why? Because with a distance that great, it puts more limits to your already limited ability to see each other. Things such as work, money, school, holidays, etc. have to be considered, and so do families. Not saying that everyone in the family has to let them share a bed with you, but I think it's important to have your family on your side/your family's support, especially if you plan to go off to visit them at some point as well.

This leads into the fact that what happens when you become independent? Great, more regular visits, maybe, more freedom, sure, but what about long-term commitment? If you get to the point of wanting to move in with one another, for example, or of wanting to get married, who intends on moving? What would either of you be leaving behind? What's the future plan? etc. For IRL relationships, I think this is something you can think about when it happens, but if it's an online relationship, I think that if you're looking to date seriously and not simply to have fun with someone, then it needs to be considered early on "if it got to that point." I know this is something both my current partner and I have discussed due to my academic, and potential later career, ties here.

You also have to look at the fact that a LDR takes effort. In my last relationship, he had his life and I had mine. Mine was flexible, and turns out his either wasn't or he wasn't willing to make it. I honestly should have seen the warning signs when he wanted to limit the contact, but even when we were still going strong, he didn't make much time for me on Skype. Yes, we spoke on the phone, but if you've ever used Skype, I'm sure you know the difference. In my current relationship, we talk daily and we try to talk via Skype once or twice per week. We occasionally talk on the phone, as well, but due to the cost of international calls and our ability to use Skype/MSN/etc., we tend to use those instead. I think that it's important to have that "partner-time," where all other distractions are shut off and it's simply about you spending time with your partner. There's also the fact that the already necessary aspect of communication becomes even more necessary, and then there's trust. I don't think jealous people, at all, should do LDRs, and I don't think people who have significant issues with trust should, either; I think that LDRs are easy triggers for these issues and that the kinks should be worked out beforehand. And then there's that you do have to get used to a very, very limited amount of physical and sexual contact. The list goes on, really, but I think the most important things to consider are if you have the time and resources to make it work, because in a LDR, the amount you need is probably damn near tripled.

[Peppermint Tea.♥]

I chose yes, but only if I met them in person first. Because I believe that a true relationship needs to be formed person to person. However, I also believe that long distance relationships can work, and it doesn't matter how you met the person if you've fallen in love.

[anothermuckedupkid]

I have dated someone that lived 3 hours away from me, she was lovely and surrportive. We brooke up because she couldn't handle the distance, so it really is up to different people. I would happily date someone that is far away from me again.

[Maloo]

I could definitely never date someone that was more than 2 hours away from me. Even that would be hard.

[bitesize]

No. There's no point, in my opinion.

[moyshi239]

Personally, I would never be in a long distance relationship. Even if I had met them beforehand, I don't think i'd be able to handle the distance. I want a significant other who is physically here for me, and not one who i'd only be able to see once or twice a year...maybe. To me, long distance relationships aren't worth it.

Long distance relationships can work for some people though. Both people need to put an equal amount of effort, time, and communication into their relationship. Also, I think both people need to communicate with each other whether they see a future where their relationship is no longer long distance. If both partners don't share the same view on where the relationship is going to go, that may be a huge factor in deciding whether or not the relationship is even worth it.