Relationships with friends?

[xxpaigiexx]

Hey,

I've recently began dating a close friend. From the day I met him I liked him and the worst part of it is I knew he liked me... but I decided to go down the friend's route. Plus I wasn't really ready to be in a relationship.

But yeah... there is so much to risk with this. He is an amazing guy, but he is so... hyperactive and it's constant... where as I am slightly calmer and more reserved than him. He is a lovely guy. He would go out of his way to do something nice for me.

My mum has known him for about 5 years and people including my mum have started to twig that things are heading a little bit further than friends.
We have had the whole discussion about our friendship, and we have agreed as long as one of us doesn't do anything to deliberately hurt the other then our friendship is safe.
I worry because I have such a bad track record, I always seem to manage the most simple of things up.

Anyway the main question is do you think it is worth the risk?

[Aletheia*]

Absolutely. Life is all about taking risks! I think the best relationships come from being friends first. If you jump into a relationship without getting to know them, it makes it harder to have one since you begin finding things out about that person you might not like. If you're friends first, you have a better chance of figuring out what those little things are.

My boyfriend and I were friends for like 2.5 years before we started dating. We were close friend, and the best thing is, we still are! But, just a little bit more

[VampirePrincess]

I definitely say this is worth the risk. It sounds like your relationship will have balance and understanding, and he obviously does like you - so, take the risk! This could be a good thing

I would like to tell you a story of a relationship I had that went bad, where the friendship remained intact. This may help you feel better about taking the risk

When I was 16 I started dating my best friend. We dated successfully for about 3 months but then we broke up. It was sort of a nasty breakup too, lots of fighting about if we should and the worst part is I can't even remember why. Point is, though, we got past that. We decided our friendship was worthwhile and continued it, despite the initial awkwardness. We're still friends to this day.

So you see, just because something wrong happens in a relationship doesn't mean you're risking completely losing the friendship because of it. I even think I'm closer to my friend now than I was before that. So, don't be afraid. If you like him, then go for it!

[dancinfool]

Yeah I agree. I think you should go for it; especially if you've already discussed it and decided your friendship would survive.

He is an amazing guy, but he is so... hyperactive and it's constant... where as I am slightly calmer and more reserved than him.

Being different like this isn't necessarily a bad thing. You might find you guys even each other out and end up somewhere in the middle ground when you're around each other.

[author101]

This sounds a lot like something that happened to me, there was a guy I liked, but we were also good friends. He knew I liked him and we became a little more than friends. Like you, our moms were also good friends and may have noticed something. Granted, it didnt work out, but we are still really close friends, possibly closer than before.
So I would say go for it! It sounds like you have decided that you want to be friends no matter what, which is always a good thing, but stick to it. Communcation is always key. The worst that can happen is you try this more than friends and it doesn't work out, and you go back to just friends. Good Luck!

[HeartofanAngel]

If you both are great friends then that means you could be even greater lovers! There will always be risk with the person you become intimate with. The most important thing to remember is that risk is something you will always have to take with almost any endeavor in life. If you both already trust and can depend on one another, then carry that reliability and enjoy sharing your lives together.


I know from experience that nothing else feels better!

[dr2005]

As Shannon says, life is all about taking risks - it's the only way we get where we want to go. Besides, the fact that you're close friends already and have been for some time from the looks of it suggests that there's a strong basis there anyway so that reduces the risk to some extent. The risk is still there, of course, but if you were fundamentally incompatible it would have come up by now (hopefully!), and on top of this it's clear you care about each other a lot anyway so the likelihood of you hurting each other either intentionally or otherwise is better than those starting from scratch. As far as the track record goes, bear in mind that (1) it doesn't mean all your relationships will be like that and (2) conversely, the most surefire way to keep up that track record is to act as if it will - it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Keep an open mind, remember to communicate, and above all keep doing what you do now and I'm sure you'll be fine.

[bugsy351]

My boyfriend and I were best friends for 2 years before we started dating and I started fancying him about a year into our friendship but I never said anything every time people asked me I denied it because he was dating another girl. In short we had a fight because everyone could see how unhappy she was making him and I was the only one to stand up and tell him the truth. We fell out for 6 months he came back from uni, apologised and we realised the feelings we had were the same and got together. Being best friends has given us a stability that I've never had before so much that we are talking about moving in together so yeah take the risk!!