most confusing girlfriend ever...

[Ashamed]

i dont know how to say this exactly... my girlfriend had recently broken up with me she wants to just be "friends"....but when i text her she still uses pet-names...and when she and her best friend are down on themselves for some stupid damned reason(they eat like birds and still say its too much) i have to reassure them that they are NOT fat...and the story goes on...my best (guy) friend has just played my girlfriends best friend.. im sure thats why shes down on herself... anyway...for three days now i've been texting both of them on the same phone(my gfs phone) and yesterday my gfs best friend had started to flirt with me hardcore. just yesterday i sent over 300 texts to my gfs phone communicating with her best friend. i think i unintentionally caught my gfs best friend on the rebound while trying to make her feel better about herself..now my gf isnt responding to me at all..i most likely pissed her off but she just broke up with me?...uhm...you see why im confused?...
HELP!?

[Ashamed]

she had actually broke up with me last week...the confusing shit has been from the last few days...

[Nicole!]

Well even though she is the one who broke up with you it doesn't mean that it wont still hurt if you flirt with her best friend. Girls don't like to see their exes with friends unless they are completely over them.

[Ashamed]

i wasnt flirting wit her....i was trying to make her feel better...i try to use humor to make her laugh...is that flirting?

[Aletheia*]

Well, if she dumped you, you have to get used to referring to her as your ex-girlfriend. Not your girlfriend. This is unfortunate, but it's sadly, the truth. Now, I'm sure you're ex's friend is confused about your feelings. Just because she is under the impression that you like her doesn't mean that you do. Or, that you have to continue to act like you like her just to appease her. That's not how it works. Rebounds are fairly easy to get rid of. Just explain that you don't mean anything by it relationship wise, that you're just trying to get her to see that she's a great girl.

As for your ex not speaking to you. I'm not surprised. She might not be comfortable with her friend liking you, and it's not right to have sent those text messages to your ex-girlfriend's phone. It's just a constant reminder that you were hitting on her best friend. Or whatever it is you're doing.

[Ashamed]

soo....i cant try to make a suicidal girl (whom does not have a phone) feel better about herself?...

[Dr.Bobby]

Originally Posted by Ashamed

soo....i cant try to make a suicidal girl (whom does not have a phone) feel better about herself?...

C'mon, Jason...this isn't the issue. What's really going on is that you're not accepting the break up, and this conveniently presents a way to maintain contact with her. Helping someone else out is of course a nice thing, but you're not going to talk her off a ledge by txting her, seriously suicidal people aren't going to respond to txting, and frankly, they're usually not of the mind to even txt. This sounds more like a ploy to keep you involved and get some attention (in a not very mature way), and maybe you're going a long with it, too.

I'd recommend you 1) Tell Number Two here if she's really suicidal to get to a doctor to get real help, and 2) talk with your ex about your confusion, the mixed signals she's sending, and also what it is you need/want, and see if you can't come to some clear understanding of what that is. Right now it's some boundariless, murky, thing you have going on where she's getting all the attention without any real commitment to you. People can decide to be 'Just friends' after a break up, but that usually implies some distance emotionally, which is what's lacking here.

Clarify what it is you want and need, and see if you can't reach some agreement on what that actually means behaviorally.