Odd feeling with boyfriend

[Tigerlily.]

Well basically technically we have only been together a day but we've dated before this 2 years ago, his mom made us break up because we both made some bad decisions to send dirty pics to each other and obviously after that she was not happy. Well we're dating again and his mom is okay with me so that's good.

But I'm getting this weird feeling when I'm with him, he's rather physical. He's the only guy I've ever dated taller than me because being abnormally tall at 15 well yeah. I don't know, I'm just really getting a bad feeling whenever I'm actually with him, and to be honest I refuse to be alone with him it scares me so much. I don't know why I'm so scared I guess it's because he's very physical in a relationship, and he's a teenage boy, so his hormones are off the charts and when we first dated 2 years ago I was pretty much like a whore. I have a bad past with stuff but we never did anything, however like a month into dating we planned out having sex.

I keep trying to stress how this time I'm different, I've changed and I want to take it slow but Idk if he really gets it. I mean like we've only technically dated one day and we're kissing and he asked if tomorrow we can make out, meaning open mouth with tongue kissing and he thinks in a month I'll be ready for sex for his birthday and that is not taking it slow.

I just don't know as he can take it slow and with him being so much bigger than me it scares me. And he's so clingy, every passing period he walks me to class which is nice but he won't let go until I kiss him at least twice. Like it scares me how weird he's gotten in these last two years but I'm even more scared to break up with him and I really don't want to.

I also have issues saying no, especially in the heat of the moment. And he really is sweet but he's a teenage boy with serious hormones too. I don't want to break up with him but honestly I'm scared when I'm with him sort of, I tried to avoid him today actually sometimes. And today was technically the first day we were dating this year, I walk up hug him and he grabs my ass...

Basically, what do I do? I don't think I have a reason to be scared but I am, and I really want to go slow but if we were in the heat of the moment, I know I couldn't say no. How do I tell him we need to back off? I mean he keeps talking about sex whenever we text even. I need him to back off a bit but again I'm scared, and for probably no reason. And I cannot tell my parents, as far as they know I hate the idea of sex and am still a virgin and they would never forgive Austin if they knew either. Or me for that matter. What do I do?

[Nicole!]

If you are scared to be alone with him, then I think its probably a good idea to reconsider why you are with him again. Do you still have feelings for him, or are you just trying this a second time to see if they will come back?
You need to really set some boundaries with him. Tell him you will not have sex with him so soon, and that you really need to just take it slow this time. He should respect your wishes, and if he doesn't then he doesn't sound like a decent guy.
Avoiding him is a big flag too, from what you've said it really sounds like you don't want to be with him.

[Tigerlily.]

The thing is I do though, I still have those feelings for him or I think so, I don't know anymore but I'm going through a rough time and honestly I have no clue how I feel anymore. I think I still have feelings for him but I'm the kind of girl with self-esteem so low that if a guy likes me I decide I like him even if before I never would look twice at him. I just don't know anymore. He says he'll wait and respect my wishes, he just won't stop talking about it and he seems to want to move fast still and I don't think he realizes it's that fast or that I mean like months and months before even considering sex.

[Nicole!]

Well you need to let him know that it is too fast for you. Maybe plan a romantic date and then based on how well it goes you can maybe find out if you still have feelings for him? I would also try making a list of good and bad things about him and just see which outweighs the other more.

[Jaq]

Hi leochick123.

You need to tell this guy how you feel. If he is making his demands of what he wants out of the relationship, then you also need to make your demands.

Let him know that if he wants sex, he has to wait until you are ready. You also need to let him know that while you enjoy his company he needs to respect your space. Don't be shy when you say it. If he makes a big fuss over your demands just tell him, "goodbye".

Also, if you really are scared of him then just leave him. No point feeling that way in a relationship.

Lastly, you say that you have low self-esteem. What would you like to change about yourself that would help raise your self-esteem?

[MY NAME IS ERIN]

Communication communication COMMUNICATION!!!!!! Communication is key to any relationship. So just tell him. Of course you don't have to just blurt out, "cool it with the touching dude!!!" Just lightly bring it up in conversation. Next time he does something try saying something like, "since when are you so touchy??" But try and make it sound like flirting.

But if he continues to be so pushy just tell him, "I just wanna wait a little while for sex. Is that okay??" If he gets mad, that's all he wants. Sex. And that should be a BIG sign telling you to leave. Cause who knows what could happen if you stay with him. You may end up having sex and get something?? Or worse, you get pregnant!!

I mean, he sounds like a great guy and all but since you have made mistakes with him in the past you shouldn't risk making another bad choice. So ask him and take the hint.

Good luck!!! Keep me posted on what happens!!