Some good relationship advice is much needed

[Brillyx]

Welp, I am into another girl. I was never really great at getting with the girls, but I do believe I am a lady charmer. I am very good looking and have a good personality, but it's the getting with the girl that I have trouble with. I was shot down twice so far.

So ever since my school year started in September I was getting looks from this girl who liked me. So at first I was hesitant, but after getting encouraged from my friend thats a girl, I decided oh why not.

Well after getting this girls number, I started talking to her. At first I wasn't that into her, but soon I became attached. Things were going really well, three nights ago was great we texted, flirted, had a good time all around.

However, there is this other girl who had just broken up with one of my other friends, and she went out with another of my friends, then broke up with HIM after a week of dating. Then, to top it off, she starts talking to ME and texting me. Well my friend told me she likes leading guys on, so I heeded his advice and tryed to stay away. However, she posted on my Facebook wall the same night that I had fun texting the girl that I liked. I think the girl I liked must've seen this post because the next day at school she was totally indifferent from me. I tryed to talk to her she answered me without looking at me. It was horrible I never felt so hurt in my life not even being rejected hurt as much as this behavior. I talked to my friend who so far was giving me advice and she reassured me that she was probably just jealous at the other girl, and maybe she was having a bad day or something else.

Well on this day Friday I asked the girl I liked if she was going to the homecoming football game tonight, and she said she had other plans, so I never got to the next line of asking if she wanted to go with me (the game got postponed anyways). Well now I don't know what move to make I mean I feel like this girl is losing interest in me and it SUCKS SO MUCH because she really seemed to like me. Every day I don't ask her out I feel like she loses another bit of interest. I probably waited way too long to begin with but I was too shy. Would it be good if I just asked her if she wanted to date me like do I really have to ask her out first?


I know it's long but I really needed to just empty out all this it's so crazy...

[PSY]

I don't think you waited too long. You guys just felt the connection three days ago. It takes a while to figure out whether or not you have chemistry with someone. Maybe she's upset by the wall post (which would be VERY immature on her part), maybe she has other things on her mind, or maybe she's lost interest in you. Whatever the case may be, I wouldn't back off at this point.

Pick a time, date, and place, and ask her if she would like to meet up with you. Do NOT ask her if she would like to date you right off the bat! That would freak a lot of girls out. By making concrete plans to hang out with her, vs. saying something vague like, "We should hang out sometime," you're making it clear that you want to get to know her better... and hopefully, she'll feel the same way. Good luck!

[Dr.Bobby]

Mind reading! Wouldn't it be great?

Listen, who knows what's going on for her (or anyone, ftm), or what her behavior means. The only thing you know is how you feel and what you want, and in this case, it's her, so the advice here is to just ask her if she's interested in you (or some variation of that), begin with a fact like 'I like you', and maybe add that you'd like to be her friend, and ask her if she's Ok with that. Nothing fancy, nothing involved, no dates, no commitments, no "Going out", don't discuss potential names for the kids just yet or the color scheme for the house at Vail.

There are two types of people in this world: Those that want a relationship of some kind with you, and those who don't. The sooner you share your intentions and find out if they're sympatico with theirs, the better.

[Brillyx]

Thanks for the advice. I am continuing to talk to her today, and maybe I am being too worried about all this. It's like whenever she doesn't text back immediately I start thinking she is getting bored, or when she talks about another guy I feel jealous...maybe I am becoming too needy or desperate.

But there are some cases where I will text her and she just wont respond back, like she'll just abrubtly stop

[PSY]

You want to actively pursue this girl, but not to the point where it consumes your life. Keep in mind that texting/chatting isn't the same thing as talking in person or over the phone. The conversations aren't in "real time", so this girl could be sending you messages whenever she has a moment to spare. For all you know, she could be very busy and not have time to maintain a conversation. Don't automatically assume she's not responding because she's bored, and DON'T bombard her with text messages if she doesn't reply right away!

Also, some people aren't crazy about texting/chatting to begin with. I've had a few boyfriends who preferred to talk in person. If I sent them a text message, they'd actually wait until they could see me in person and respond then. So why not give her a call instead and see how that goes? Does she seem distracted/uninterested? Or is she responsive and eager to meet up with you?

[Brillyx]

When I was talking to her yesterday she texted me after a long pause. I know this will sound crazy, but it's almost like she was testing to see if I was desperate or not and would text her a second time. Girls are so complex :/.

But now a new problem arises, I am almost wondering if she is too edgy for me. She has a pet snake, sorta gothic, someone once told me she was into older guys...I almost feel intimidated.

And I know I already said this in that other thread I had up but idk this is something that is always in the back of my head when I think of asking this girl out

[Nicole123]

Hey Brillyx, these things happen all the time and sometime we wish they could just be resolved and work the way we want them to, but good news is, you still have a chance. You don't know exactly what is wrong, even though maybe you have a feeling you do. You should try to text or as her in person if you can, how she feels about you. You want to get an answer and see what she says, and ask her what is wrong. You have to be open and ask her if something happened, because you seemed like you were getting along. If she mentions the wall post tell her honestly you don't care for that girl and that girl probably did it on purpose,which it sounds like she did. You can still fix it, text her now and ask. Everything is worth a shot, so you live without regrets!

-Nicole =)

[Brillyx]

Thank you for the advice Nicole, but that happened back on Tuesday and eh I just don't know if I should bring it up or leave it... Would it be alright for me to ask her what she thinks of me though? Like would that seem creepy or weird do you think?

[judymason]

Make a romantic surprise to the girl you like and tell her that you really like her you have to assure her that you don't want anyone but her, girls easily gets jealous I think the reason why she avoids you is that she is jealous and she wants to know whether you are really serious with or if you would make an effort to prove that you really like her.