Female Advice Preferred: Question....

[Hallelujah]

Well. Yes, I am depressed, so this could just be me.....

But, my question is this: Girls, and boys too, if it applies - If your partner kept suggesting how much better you'd look in 'this' 'that' or 'those', how would you feel?

I'm asking because it seems to be getting to me a little bit these days, as my fiance keeps pointing out things he thinks I should wear, telling how I should dress, and trying to get me to buy stuff I don't like.

I understand that he's entitled to an opinion, I just sometimes wish he'd keep them private, y'know? I get a bit insecure because it seems like he doesn't like how I look now - from my hair colour to the shoes I wear.

Please tell me I'm not paranoid? [Even though, yes, I am, but that's the meds talking ]

[Aletheia*]

If it was a suggestion, something like this "You'll get great in this. Why don't you try it on to see." I wouldn't mind. It's just a suggestion, and I could say no if I wanted too. But, if it was something like "I think you'll look better with this on. Wear it today instead of that shirt..." I would be upset.

I'm my own person, as are you. We are entitled to wear what we want, depending on the circumstances. By circumstances I mean, going out to dinner that has a certain dress code, weddings, etc. You see my point.

If your boyfriend is forcing you to wear things you don't like, tell him so. Let him know that it's putting you down. Communication is very important. Let him know that it bothers you.

[NewsFly]

My boyfriend used to, and still sort of does, do that. I would either consider taking his suggestion that I would look nice in this, that, or the other OR just simply listen and continue on being and wearing the things I love best. After a while, I wholeheartedly understand how you're feeling; it left me depressed and confused as well. I discussed it to him that when he said things like that, it hurt me and made me feel incompatible/insecure simply because I don't dress like this girl or don't own and wear that. I told him that he needs to love me for who I am and what I wear just like he has from the infancy months of our relationship or he will lose me. He apologized and said he didn't know it hurt me that much when he said things like that.

Also, I'm not sure if you're into astrology, but I looked up my boyfriend's astro-sign...he's a virgo and, supposedly, virgos are infamous for knit-picking at their partners in that way.

[MY NAME IS ERIN]

It wouldn't bother me too much. As Shannon said, it would matter more so on the way would said it But if it is hurting your feelings a little bit or making you upset in anyway you should tell him that. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship and you need to talk to him.

Good Luck!! Tell me what happens!! ^_^

[Hallelujah]

Hmmm. This is bordering on the "But that would look so much better" I don't think it helps that my self confidence is so unbelievably low at the moment. I get paranoid that I'm not good enough for him, that I'm not his sixties-style, punk-rock, biker babe or whatever. Like, I get that dudes have things that turn them on, but telling me I should dress more like Dita von Teese because she's the sexiest woman alive? Kinda makes me feel bad.

[Aletheia*]

He seems whiny and pushy. So, talk to him. If what he's saying is bringing you down, even more so than you are already, tell him this. There isn't anything wrong with speaking up. Because if you don't, your self-esteem is just going to continue to plummet.

[BruceLeeDemarcus]

It depends on how he tells me. At first I might think okay whatever I'll do it for you, but if he pushes too much about it then I'd be like "please leave me alone and let me do what I want to do"

[how.we.operate.]

My boyfriend doesn't do that. He used to date a girl that was extremely self-conscious/had body image issues and she was in a constant cycle of self-hatred and depression.
He is the type to be extremely supportive no matter what. He hasn't ever said I should wear something or I'd look better in x.

Have you ever told him how you feel about what he says? Like have you ever said that you don't like him telling you that you'd look better in x? Maybe this is something to talk to him about because...well...yeah you are you and you shouldn't have to dress to impress him. You should dress in a way that fits you and a way that is comfortable to you.

[PSY]

I don't think there's anything wrong with trying on something new if your boyfriend/girlfriend wants to see how it would look on you. =) Who knows... maybe you would like it, too! If you've given it a shot, though, and you don't like it, and they're still being pushy... well, that's worth talking about. If you did it once in a while as a "fantasy" of some sort (ex. be his sexy biker chick for an evening), then fine... but if he's constantly asking you to change your appearance, that's not okay.

[Hallelujah]

Alrighty. Dear Self, Suck it up

Thanks for all the input ladies, you've been a wonderful help <3

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

Honestly, it would probably bother me a bit. I know for a while, that's what my boyfriend was doing & it got to me. I felt like he was trying to turn me into the girls he used to hook up with. I told him how I felt & he's backed off. He'll give me suggestions & stuff when I ask, but he's backed off a bit & I'm happier with how I am.

[Haunted]

I hate people who tell me what to wear.
I accept suggestions like "wow, that dress would look amazing on you! Why don't you try it?" and as long as I like the dress, I would try it.
I get angry when people tell me "you must change your dress, it's horrible" because I am free to dress the way I want to dress.
If your boyfriend is just giving you a sort of suggestion, then just tell him that you don't want to dress in a different way. But if he starts to oblige you to dress in a x way, then... well, I would start to shout at him, but you should do your best to fix the situation. If he's smart he'll understand.