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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Online dating part 2 - November 11th 2011, 12:11 AM

So a few of you read my last post saying I am trying online dating again. The guy and I have really hit it off messaging and chatting together. I still have slight doubts about his honesty purely because it's online. But the more we have been talking the more I trust him. Thing is I think he has imagined me to be..well better than I actually am. He talks like I am breathtakingly beautiful and have an amazing personality and I just can't believe it when I have only been asked out once in my life and have been rejected multiple times. I also worry that maybe I have too good an image of him built up in my mind and that he isn't going to measure up.
Basically I am worried about getting too emotionally invested only to disappoint each other later, so I asked him if he would like to video chat sometime soon. That way we can sorta talk face to face without actually meeting. But I am also afraid of kinda "breaking the spell" so to speak. I have been sorta pointing out some of my little flaws the past couple days, not much, but enough that I am hoping he doesn't have this picture of me as this perfect woman.
I know I haven't really asked a question again, I tend to do that. Basically I am just looking for some opinions, online dating tips maybe, and just need to talk someone other than my one close friend (I haven't told anyone else cuz I am not 100% sure we will even meet).
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Re: Online dating part 2 - November 11th 2011, 02:54 PM

Pointing out flaws is a good thing, especially since he pictures you as WonderWoman. Nobody is 100% perfect, not even him. Maybe you could have a special message session where you point out some of things that bother you about yourself. I'll give an example of myself: I grind my teeth at night and it drives anyone around me nuts!. Something like that. Ask him to do the same so you aren't disappointed that he isn't this magnificent guy he claims to be.

It's okay to build a picture in your mind. Let's face it: it's going to happen. But, to portray one or the other as perfect isn't realistic. We all have flaws and we all have made mistakes that we may or may not have regretted in the past. It's just one of those silly parts of ourselves that we all have to deal with.

Also, video chatting is a great idea. It gives you an idea of what a real meet up will be like.

Hope this helped.

Good luck!











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Re: Online dating part 2 - November 11th 2011, 04:05 PM

Making a picture of him in your mind is completely normal. However if you want to ever take this to the next step, you will need to see the truth of what he looks like and what his personality is like. Some people are completely different offline or when they aren't writing to you in words. I think video chatting would be a good idea to find out if you two are attracted to each other.


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