His Family cant get over his ex

[nyasia2011]

ok so my boyfriend and I have been together for awhile now but ive just started to notice something. HIS FAMILY STILL KEEPS PICTURES OF HIS EX IN THEIR HOUSE! my boyfriend and his ex have been broken up for 2 years now and they were only together for a year. It kinda makes me uncomfortable because im with him but i have to keep seeing her everywhere i go. Im not jealous or anything but i dont understand why they cant get over her. Also i dont know if this is weird or not but when i go over his house his mom makes me stay in the living room and only the living room but when his ex use to go over she was allowed to go in his room and even sleep over. I dont know what this is all about. Someone just give me their take on this situation

[Aletheia*]

I know exactly what you're going through. My boyfriend's parents still keep photo's of him and his ex in the house. They just aren't visible to me.

You have to remember that they dated for a year. This girl probably spent a lot of time at their house, they had gotten to know her and like her. I highly doubt it's anything personal against you. Over time, they'll learn to trust you. You are dating their son, and of course, the rules are up to them. Over time, they may allow you to spend more time in other places of the house, like his bedroom.

If this situation truly bothers you, I would talk to your boyfriend about your concerns. Communication is important, and if the photo's bug you, you should ask him to talk to his parents.

[nyasia2011]

Thanks for the advice.

[bigwheel]

Originally Posted by nyasia2011

ok so my boyfriend and I have been together for awhile now but ive just started to notice something. HIS FAMILY STILL KEEPS PICTURES OF HIS EX IN THEIR HOUSE! my boyfriend and his ex have been broken up for 2 years now and they were only together for a year. It kinda makes me uncomfortable because im with him but i have to keep seeing her everywhere i go. Im not jealous or anything but i dont understand why they cant get over her. Also i dont know if this is weird or not but when i go over his house his mom makes me stay in the living room and only the living room but when his ex use to go over she was allowed to go in his room and even sleep over. I dont know what this is all about. Someone just give me their take on this situation

Keeping pictures of his ex in their house is just absolutely weird. Make a run for it.

[nyasia2011]

isnt it!!!!! thats what im saying. i told my boyfriend that him and his family needs to get over this girl or just leave me alone

[ShimmeringFaerie]

There are a few things I'd like to clarify:

1. How long have you and your boyfriend been together? If you haven't been together long, then I think you are being a bit unreasonable. It's highly likely that his ex wasn't immediately let into his bedroom; his family probably got to know her and then decided it was alright for them to be alone together.

2. What kind of photos are they? Like if they are just photos if his ex by herself, then it is weird. But if they are photos of your boyfriend and his ex at their formal or something, then you are being unfair; of course, a family would like to keep nice photos of their son, regardless of who else is in the photo.

3. Why would you tell your boyfriend that he has to get over this girl? Nothing you've said implies that he is not over her; you said that his family is the problem.

4. Have there been any issues with you and his family before? Like is there any reason that they might have for not liking you? If there isn't, then I would definitely talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling. But if there is something that may have made his mother dislike you, I think you need to be dealing with that.

[nyasia2011]

ive been with his for a year and 3 months. most of the pictures are by herself. one or two are them together. I tell him that he needs to get over her because when her name comes up he still tries to defend her which is weird to me. I have never had any issues with his family. his family likes me alot

[leavemealone]

Uhh, hahaha, that is kinda really awkward...

Butttt on the other hand, you have to remember that its not only the boyfriend who gets attached in the relationship. Its the family too. Especially if they spend a majority of their time at a certain house. Have you brought this up to your boyfriend? Because if I were him, I'd be a little weirded out that my own mother and father have grown so attached to someone they barely know...this is just plain weird hahaha, but try not to take it the wrong way. It may seem like the mother is still favoring the ex girlfriend, but odds are she probably doesn't even know that shes doing it. Mothers are like that

[bigwheel]

I'm surprised you have been with him 1 year... wtf!

Seriously. If i dump a girl, i don't keep pics of her in the house.... especially not 1 year later!! Seriously, it's weird and anyone who says otherwise is wrong in my opinion.

[Nicole!]

Originally Posted by bigwheel

I'm surprised you have been with him 1 year... wtf!

Seriously. If i dump a girl, i don't keep pics of her in the house.... especially not 1 year later!! Seriously, it's weird and anyone who says otherwise is wrong in my opinion.

I agree, it is a little weird. Does he still talk to her or are they still friends? I think if its been that long since they broke up it probably is time for them to remove those pictures. I agree with above posters and just talk to him about it and let him know it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. Maybe see if he will give you a reason as to why they still have those pictures up.

[nyasia2011]

i just talked to him about it. he understand how i feel now and he said that he will talk to his mom about the pictures. i think his mom and his ex had a connection because they spoke the same language. i just dont want to feel like im in compatition with her because im not. im his girlfriend now and shes not its a proven fact. im just going to see what happens after he talks to his mom

[Nicole!]

Originally Posted by nyasia2011

i just talked to him about it. he understand how i feel now and he said that he will talk to his mom about the pictures. i think his mom and his ex had a connection because they spoke the same language. i just dont want to feel like im in compatition with her because im not. im his girlfriend now and shes not its a proven fact. im just going to see what happens after he talks to his mom

Maybe so you don't feel like your in a competition with his ex you can find something that you and his mom have in common so that she warms up to you. I'm glad you talked to him about the pictures and I'm glad to hear he was understanding about it.

[nyasia2011]

theres no doubt that hes a good boyfriend. he treats me very good. i just have to use my great charm on his mom ahhahah

[Nicole!]

Maybe find a movie that you can all watch together? I think spending some time so she can get to know you will help also.