Am i repulsive to girls?

[The Goblins Blade]

Everytime i gain feelings for a girl i want, she turns me down. This happens alot. Im just sick of it becouse people around me are in relationships, it makes me angry when i see a couple kissing. Makes me feel like shit, rubbing it in my face if you know what i mean? Am i that repulsive to girls? Im a nice guy so i shouldent really have any trouble. What should i do?

Anyone have advice?

[Nicole!]

Of course you aren't repulsive! You just haven't found a girl who will take the time to get to know you and see all the good qualities you have is all. You won't be single forever, I can promise you that. Sometimes if you just stop stressing yourself out with looking for someone, love will find you.
Mostly, don't let this bring you down. You don't need someone else to make you happy, there are lots of benefits to being single.

[The Goblins Blade]

Thanks for the kind words, i dont know why but girls i know dont want to be anymore then freinds.

[Nicole!]

Originally Posted by The Goblins Blade

Thanks for the kind words, i dont know why but girls i know dont want to be anymore then freinds.

It might just be that that's all they see you as. I'm sure you have friends that are girls that you can't see yourself with either.
I know that kind words don't help much, but try and understand what I'm saying. There's nothing wrong with you just because you haven't found someone yet.

[katie4evrr1]

If you truly dont want to just be friends you kind of have to be careful because once you enter a girl's life you walk a thin line between friend zone and BOYfriend zone. It is easy to teeter on to one of the sides if your not careful. I mean girls deal with that too, friend zone is alright depending on the person. If you want to stay out of it make it more clear your interested and i mean be friends of course, but you have to maintain a flirtyness or else girl doesn't see you want more. If i am not making sense let me know, i have a tendency to ramble xp trust me i have been in the friend zone and i have been in girlfriend zone. Lets say im in a lonely zone at the moment. Sometimes girls just aren't ready for a boyfriend either or they fear it will ruin their friendship with the guy. don't blame yourself, love comes along when love comes along. hope i helped

[LostAngels]

Everybody is equally as repulsive, as everybody is equally lovable.*
What I mean by that, is you can not generalize all women's opinions towards you because of your experience thus-far in life.*
No matter how incredibly unattractive physically you may consider yourself to be (most likely as a result of media, and other ways society is taught to perceive beauty), there will always, and I mean ALWAYS, be people out there who think you're beautiful. Same goes for personality. If you consider your personality traits to be unfavorable, or have been criticized for them, there will still always be someone who appreciates them.
Never look for love. And trust me, I've done this plenty of times. But eventually you're going to realize that the 'right' person will come along when you least expect it, and that's a fact.*
When you live your life day-to-day feeling sorry for yourself and hoping you will find someone, you will involve yourself with the first person who comes along and shows interest; for all of the wrong reasons.*
I know this is an over-used phrase, but it's one that I live by;
"I'd rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I'm not."*
Do not try and change yourself for these girls acceptance, because you will end up resenting both them as well as yourself.*

I don't mean to come across as pretentious or conceited by any means, but I know I'm a very attractive girl. I'm more intellectual than most people I go to school with, and I have class. I barely have anyone at my school with something more than a trivial problem with me, and I'm very accepted. However, I have had an incredibly difficult time for years trying to find a guy who appreciates and loves me.*
I've been cheated on by the 3 guys I've been with, and I know I don't deserve it.

My point is, life isn't fair. Unfortunately you see a**holes and b!tches with partners every day, and those deserving of and without cant understand why we are without. You just need to wait for someone to come along who first of all, really tries to get to know you on that level, and also, makes you feel 100% about your abilities and overall sense of self.*
They will come along, and show you emotions you never thought possible.

Best wishes <3

[The Goblins Blade]

Cheers for the replies everyone

[FillingWithHope]

You just haven't found the right girl yet. Stay strong and stay positive! she'll come when you least excpet it!

[leavemealone]

Your definitely not REPULSIVE to girls you just haven't found that girl that wants to be with you. Those girls who turned you down? Aren't worth it. They're probably spoiled and bitchy. You want a nice girl who treats you well. Keep your eyes open. She's there.

[sasaboo]

Originally Posted by leavemealone

Your definitely not REPULSIVE to girls you just haven't found that girl that wants to be with you. Those girls who turned you down? Aren't worth it. They're probably spoiled and bitchy. You want a nice girl who treats you well. Keep your eyes open. She's there.

Now, now. Just because they weren't attracted to him don't make them bad people. But, what everyone says is right. It takes some people longer to find that special someone, but once they're there, it won't matter how long it took. I hold to the idea that everyone has someone out there. It may even be a few more years down the road, but it's totally worth it!

[The Goblins Blade]

I suppose you are right, the perfect girl for me might be down the line somewhere.

[Pelios]

Originally Posted by leavemealone

Those girls who turned you down? Aren't worth it. They're probably spoiled and bitchy.

So turning down a guy that makes you spolied and bitchy...?

[tula]

In my experience - and I never had anyone until my first at seventeen (I felt the same as you, like it must be something to me), but now I've had several boyfriends - when you're seeking a relationship they elude you, whilst when you just stop looking one will find you instead. I know that sounds like a movie cliché or something, but it really is true.

I think maybe it's that when we get older a lot of people seem to like a smooth transition into a relationship rather than the "date me?" approach - at least where I live, so maybe that's something to think about?

Just don't give up on it, and you'll see things'll change for you. Just keep on being nice and just yourself, and make sure that if you find a girl you think is interesting you show her that without necessarily being too up front about it - an idea at least.

Good luck. =)

[Nicole!]

Originally Posted by leavemealone

Those girls who turned you down? Aren't worth it. They're probably spoiled and bitchy. You want a nice girl who treats you well.

It doesn't necessarily make them spoiled and bitchy. They just don't feel the same as he does or just aren't attracted to him. Definitely does not mean they are automatically spoiled and bitchy.

[Choose]

One thing that I'd like to add, because I struggle a little bit with some of the same feelings occasionally:

Everyone is telling you to not look for love, to let it come to you. One thing that you CANNOT do is become socially isolated. Go out with friends, make new friends, have fun, meet new people all the time, and your chances of meeting a woman for you grow exponentially with each new person you meet.

[Shadow90]

Originally Posted by Dinosaur Trainer

One thing that I'd like to add, because I struggle a little bit with some of the same feelings occasionally:

Everyone is telling you to not look for love, to let it come to you. One thing that you CANNOT do is become socially isolated. Go out with friends, make new friends, have fun, meet new people all the time, and your chances of meeting a woman for you grow exponentially with each new person you meet.

I dont like the saying "let it come to you". Cause at the end of the day, you still gotta go and get her if you know what I mean. I prefer to say to just go with the flow.

[Dream]

How many girls have you asked out in the past year? If the answer is not that high, then maybe you need to just put yourself on the line and ask more girls out. That's easier said than done, but you're not being fair to yourself if you don't.

[dinoscool3]

Originally Posted by Dream

How many girls have you asked out in the past year? If the answer is not that high, then maybe you need to just put yourself on the line and ask more girls out. That's easier said than done, but you're not being fair to yourself if you don't.

I disagree with this, you borderline as passing off as desperate. I've tried this before (after a rough break up), and didn't get anywhere. In fact it only made it worse when I relized I had strong feelings for my best friend, as that was one of the things that contributed to her hating me now.



I wouldn't do this, just wait, that's what I'm doing now, waiting for the right moment to ask someone I like.

[Nicole!]

Originally Posted by dinoscool3

I disagree with this, you borderline as passing off as desperate. I've tried this before (after a rough break up), and didn't get anywhere. In fact it only made it worse when I relized I had strong feelings for my best friend, as that was one of the things that contributed to her hating me now.
I wouldn't do this, just wait, that's what I'm doing now, waiting for the right moment to ask someone I like.

I think what they were trying to say was that if they want to find a girlfriend, they need to put themselves out there and try asking some out. If you don't be brave and try, then most likely you won't get into a relationship. Sure, girls can ask guys out, but typically its more common for the guy to ask the girl out. I don't think they meant to just go out and ask out ever girl, that would be pointless. You want to get to know some girls first, then find one who you get along with and take it from there.

[dinoscool3]

Originally Posted by Melody

I think what they were trying to say was that if they want to find a girlfriend, they need to put themselves out there and try asking some out. If you don't be brave and try, then most likely you won't get into a relationship. Sure, girls can ask guys out, but typically its more common for the guy to ask the girl out. I don't think they meant to just go out and ask out ever girl, that would be pointless. You want to get to know some girls first, then find one who you get along with and take it from there.

I agree you have to ask them out, it's asking out a lot that is the thing.

[Boobies]

In all honesty, from what I've seen of you on this forum you don't seem like a very nice person. Perhaps that could have something to do with it.

[The Goblins Blade]

Originally Posted by Boobies

In all honesty, from what I've seen of you on this forum you don't seem like a very nice person. Perhaps that could have something to do with it.

And i can say the same about you mate.

[Boobies]

Originally Posted by The Goblins Blade

And i can say the same about you mate.

And this is what I'm on about...

[dinoscool3]

Originally Posted by Boobies

In all honesty, from what I've seen of you on this forum you don't seem like a very nice person. Perhaps that could have something to do with it.

Now I will say I haven't been on this forum alot, but the OP seems like a perfectly nice person.

[The Goblins Blade]

Originally Posted by Boobies

And this is what I'm on about...

Now see here, attack me and ill defend myself. Thats what i did just now.

[Boobies]

I didn't attack you, I just told you my observations and suggested that that could be why, if I was to attack you I'd have said something much more like 'Well, you seem like a massive arsehole from what I've seen'. Massive difference.

[Chris.]

Unfortunatley alot of guys and girls have the same feeling sometimes.

I think the problem is you have WAY to much expectations. Lower your expectations, and you wont get hurt as bad. Yes, its easier said than done but When you actually do learn to not expect so much, you wont get hurt nearly as much.

Goodluck, my friend.

[The Goblins Blade]

Originally Posted by chrisjackson911

Unfortunatley alot of guys and girls have the same feeling sometimes.

I think the problem is you have WAY to much expectations. Lower your expectations, and you wont get hurt as bad. Yes, its easier said than done but When you actually do learn to not expect so much, you wont get hurt nearly as much.

Goodluck, my friend.

cheers mate

[Koharuchan]

I'm not attacking you in any way here, but as for what Boobies said, I have seen you many times on these forums. You don't seem like a mean person, but in many of your posts you seem to come off as either sad or frustrated, and that could be a contributing factor. If you keep feeling that way you could end up taking it out on the people around you, which would only make your situation worse. If you're really desperate to find a girl, maybe you could try one of those online sites like eharmony to find girls in your area. It's not something I would personally do, but I do have friends who have found great people that way, so maybe you should give it a shot.

[Cabron]

My best advice for you, Will, is to be bright. Girls are attracted to happiness and guys who make them feel safe and comfortable about themselves. Coming on too strong or too fast can be a definite 'no' factor, as can being generally down in the dumps. People essentially just want to better themselves and they do that mostly by associating with people with whom they'd like to be like. That applies to relationships, too. Later on you can show her the darker parts of yourself because by then she should trust you. Put yourself out there and be a light. You can do it

[Dream]

Originally Posted by dinoscool3

I disagree with this, you borderline as passing off as desperate. I've tried this before (after a rough break up), and didn't get anywhere. In fact it only made it worse when I relized I had strong feelings for my best friend, as that was one of the things that contributed to her hating me now.



I wouldn't do this, just wait, that's what I'm doing now, waiting for the right moment to ask someone I like.

Originally Posted by Melody

I think what they were trying to say was that if they want to find a girlfriend, they need to put themselves out there and try asking some out. If you don't be brave and try, then most likely you won't get into a relationship. Sure, girls can ask guys out, but typically its more common for the guy to ask the girl out. I don't think they meant to just go out and ask out ever girl, that would be pointless. You want to get to know some girls first, then find one who you get along with and take it from there.

This is basically what I meant. My point was that it isn't fair to get down on yourself for not being attractive when you haven't fully given yourself a chance. I was thinking that might be the case here. I certainly didn't mean for it should be done in a desperate sort of way.

Originally Posted by Cabron

My best advice for you, Will, is to be bright. Girls are attracted to happiness and guys who make them feel safe and comfortable about themselves. Coming on too strong or too fast can be a definite 'no' factor, as can being generally down in the dumps. People essentially just want to better themselves and they do that mostly by associating with people with whom they'd like to be like. That applies to relationships, too. Later on you can show her the darker parts of yourself because by then she should trust you. Put
yourself out there and be a light. You can do it

I would modify this to say that girls are attracted to guys that make them happy in the same way that guys are attracted to girls that make them happy (or guys attracted to guys, girls girls, if they're gay- you get the point), but I agree with the basic idea here. I don't know the OP, so I can't judge your personality.

[The Goblins Blade]

Originally Posted by Koharuchan

I'm not attacking you in any way here, but as for what Boobies said, I have seen you many times on these forums. You don't seem like a mean person, but in many of your posts you seem to come off as either sad or frustrated, and that could be a contributing factor. If you keep feeling that way you could end up taking it out on the people around you, which would only make your situation worse. If you're really desperate to find a girl, maybe you could try one of those online sites like eharmony to find girls in your area. It's not something I would personally do, but I do have friends who have found great people that way, so maybe you should give it a shot.

I know what you mean, im just pissed off with the world around me. I would try dating sights, but you have to pay for them.

[Acheron]

Originally Posted by The Goblins Blade

I know what you mean, im just pissed off with the world around me. I would try dating sights, but you have to pay for them.

Not necessarily. OKCupid and PlentyOfFish are both free.