Mom wants me back with my ex.

[Koharuchan]

Okay, I don't have a great relationship with my mom, I never have. Lately things have been getting worse and worse, all because I have a new boyfriend. She keeps causing more and more drama and I hate it.

I love my boyfriend very much. We've known each other and been close for years. We have a really great strong relationship, but my mother is becoming a problem. She says she likes him, but I know better. She hardly speaks a word to him when he's at my house, she makes no effort whatsoever to get to know him, and when we first started dating she didn't like it, saying it was a bad idea for us to date. She thinks we started dating on a whim, which is completely untrue. We liked each other for months before we finally got together.She's said to my face on more than one occasion that we won't make it and we'll end up breaking up soon. The biggest and weirdest thing is, she wants me to date my ex again.

My ex's name is Cody. We've been broken up for over 2 years, but we still talk and are friends. She likes him a LOT, and was upset when we broke up. She said he was a really great guy, but so is my current boyfriend. He treats me much better than Cody did, and mom doesn't get that. She never asks about my boyfriend or any of my other friends, but she always asks how Cody is doing. Have you talked to Cody recently, how is Cody doing, is Cody coming for Christmas, have you sent Cody any emails lately? I swear it's her biggest delusion that we'll get together. Not only have we been broken up for over 2 years, but he's currently in military college stationed on a base on the other side of the freaking country. A relationship is not going to happen here.

I've tried telling her that I love my boyfriend and that I don't have feelings for Cody. She says I'm naive and I'll find out soon enough that I'm wrong. It makes me so angry. She keeps pushing me and making me angrier. She never gives up, it's insane. She keeps telling me she likes my boyfriend, and it's bullshit. When I was with him in the hospital she not only refused to come in and see him, she never once asked how he was doing or if he was feeling better. It upsets me because I care about him so much and I want her to see that. I'm tired of her bringing up my ex, and I'm tired of her not giving a damn about my boyfriend and I's feelings. I'm just so stressed. How can I get through to her?

[Nicole!]

Well because words aren't working, it looks like you'll have to show her that you and your boyfriend will make it and that he treats you better than Cody. Sure, its good to have your mother's approval, but the most important thing is that you and your boyfriend love each other.
Have you explained to her about Cody being so far away and in the military?

[Koharuchan]

I have explained, but she won't listen. She continues asking me all about Cody, and never giving a damn about Jon. He was over at my house yesterday and she barely spoke a word to him. I thought after everything we went through together when he was in the hospital that she'd realize how much I love him, but she's still being stubborn.

[ScreamKatesName]

You should be with who you want to be with, not who your mom wants you to be with. It's more important for you to be happy than to make her happy, because in the end, it's you who's going to be with the person, not her.

[planos]

hmm parents, sometime they just don't understand how much we love our bf/gf and the funny things is they are also been in love when they were young. I can see that in your case, your mother seem don't see how much you love jon and see him as a good person for you. You just give her more time to know how great jon is, or maybe you can help jon connect with her to win her heart. There is a saying in my home country that "if you want to get a girl, you need to win the heart of the mother of the girl first". So, don't give up, there is always a solution in every problem.

[Koharuchan]

What gets me most is she hardly speaks to him. She won't make an effort. I've told her lots of great things about him and tried to get her interested at least a little, but she still won't try to know him, and if she continues she'll never realize what a great guy he is.

[Nicole!]

Originally Posted by Koharuchan

I have explained, but she won't listen. She continues asking me all about Cody, and never giving a damn about Jon. He was over at my house yesterday and she barely spoke a word to him. I thought after everything we went through together when he was in the hospital that she'd realize how much I love him, but she's still being stubborn.

Yeah, that's why I said you'll have to show her to prove it. Actions speak louder than words.

Originally Posted by Koharuchan

What gets me most is she hardly speaks to him. She won't make an effort. I've told her lots of great things about him and tried to get her interested at least a little, but she still won't try to know him, and if she continues she'll never realize what a great guy he is.

Does she have any reason for this? Maybe a bad first-impression?

[Koharuchan]

I can't think of anything that would've given her a bad first impression. When he met her he introduced himself, shook her hand, and was being a gentleman. It's not like he's all over me, she has no reason to dislike him. I can't figure out why she's so obsessed with my ex. My ex didn't treat me all that great, either. He was very possesive. I tried telling her that too, but she doesn't believe me. She thinks I'm making it up so she'll give up on me getting back together with him.

[JKmadu619]

Is it your mother's life?

Will she have to live with the long-term reprocussions of being with someone she does not enjoy the company of?

Just Sayin'

- Justin