Is this going to work?
 

So I am fairly concerned about this newer relationship I am in, and I am hoping that someone will have something to ease my concerns or give me a reality check, or whatever it is that I need. I am dating this guy, who I have been with for going on three months now, unfortunately, for a month and a half he's been in jail, he just got out on the sixteenth. The jail situation was a simple not checking in with probation, not that big of a deal before I get the lecture about how this is already a bad idea, he knows, and I know that if he is going to be an idiot and get into more trouble, we're through, I'm not going to be the jail girlfriend. At the moment due to some restraining order drama, he is staying at my brother's house, which I set up for him. I really care about this dude, but I'm getting really worried that it's not going to work. For one thing, he isn't all that affectionate and I keep getting thrown off and start getting paranoid thinking it's a sign of some sort. I am a fairly affectionate person, I try to be moderate about it, but the truth of the matter is that I have some "daddy issues" and I've noticed that before I would try and get some of that love and affection that I missed out on through men. It's a twisted scenario, this time I am trying to value myself enough to realize that if it's not going to work, it's not going to work and not find my identity in men. However then I find myself on the other side of the spectrum where every little thing that happens I think that I'm not going to put up with this or that it's not going to work and so I end up for lack of a better word mindfucking myself. I'm a borderline personality disorder beholder, if you don't know what that is Google is an awesome tool, but basically I am a "black and white thinker". I'm normally pretty good at recognizing when I'm being irrational, but lately I don't know. I'm scared shitless. What do you think? How do I let him know that I need more affection? And where do you think the fine line between normal and clingy lies?

Re: Is this going to work?
 

I think you should flat out tell him that you need to feel he loves you, and you really do need the affection he isn't giving to you. He should understand this. I think just telling him you need to feel more from him, doesn't even begin towards the clingy side, you just want to feel like he loves you. You should talk to him about it though, just tell him the truth. If you don't say it directly, he might not get the whole point, and things won't get better. If he understands, that's great. If not, then you should be with someone who can make you happy and give you what you really want and deserve.

Re: Is this going to work?
 

Thank you. I kind of figured that's what I'd do, but I wasn't sure what to do exactly.