Obviously I'm doing something wrong

[Amber]

Almost every other week my boyfriend is upset with me for some reason or another. Mostly it's about other guys. He thinks I'm so gorgeous and thinks that any chance I get to find someone better than him that I'll take the first chance to hit the road. He got upset with me a week ago because I gave my friend a ride home from the hotel to the place he used to work. (He's in the military and got sent on leave for Christmas and didn't have a ride home so I offered after the bus dropped him off at the hotel.) Then Josh* got all upset and we fought and I left for my mom's house. Then today he got upset with me because of a picture he saw on facebook of a friend and I from a year and a half ago. Apparently we looked more serious than what I led on so he thinks I'm lying to him. He accuses me of cheating on him SO much and threatens to leave and I just don't know what to do anymore. Talking to him doesn't work because a week later something different happens and he does the same thing. I'm just so frustrated.. he says he doesn't want to leave me but he doesn't care what I do anymore.

I've never been so upset and it doesn't help that I'm extra hormonal because I'm pregnant with his child, which he doesn't think is his. GAH.

[Koharuchan]

It sounds to me like he has trust issues. Did something happen in a previous relationship that could make him feel this way? As for you, you're not doing anything wrong. You are allowed to have friends that are boys, and he doesn't have a right to try and stop that. He shouldn't be upset with you over these small things. It's stressing you out, which is the last thing you need, especially considering that you're pregnant.

What I would do is ask him why it is he's feeling this way. Why does he accuse you of cheating? Why does he believe the child isn't his? Why does he have a problem with you having guy friends? It could be something bad from a previous relationship that is affecting him now. Try and talk to him and make him understand that you love him and you don't intend to leave him for someone else. But most importantly, don't think you're doing wrong because he's feeling insecure. It may be hard, but keep working to try and communicate your feelings to him. If things continue this way, you may want to see a councelor for advice.

[Aletheia*]

Usually when someone accuses you of cheating, it's because they themselves have something to hide. I'm not trying to tell you that your boyfriend is cheating on you or anything, but this might be a huge indicator to be concerned. It sounds like he has a lot of jealousy issues, which isn't surprising with some guys whose girlfriends have friends of the opposite sex.

The best thing you need to do is talk to him. It's the only way to stop this from happening. Without communication, your relationship isn't going to last much longer. You need to explain everything, and get him to realize that you're not cheating.

[Chris.]

Obviously he has trust issues, and to be honest, a relationship WILL NOT last if you have those kind of issues. If you have talked to him, and he hasn't changes his ways, then I'm afraid to say, chances are he will be like that for awhile until he gets help and works on trusting people.

In my own experiences, and from what I see here, chances are the relationship will fail very soon. Your too your breaking limit - and he doesn't seem to want to changes things.

So, as others would say, I would talk to him once more and lay it all on the table - if he doesn't trust you anymore, then I say maybe a relationship with him isn't a good idea. Anyone who wants to control who you talk to, and gets mad from past pictures, and from giving rides is a guy you don't want to be with, trust me.


Best wishes,
Chris

[Amber]

I have talked to him about it before but in the past few weeks he and his mom have let me know more about his past relationships. He just got out of a 6 year relationship in Feb. I guess she was emotionally and verbally abusive to him, which I could completely see because I think she's a cold hearted b* anyway. They have a 2 year old daughter together and I guess they used to fight constantly and it wasn't a good relationship but they tried to make it work for Mads but then I guess she cheated on him and he ended it with her. Then the girlfriend before that left him for his best friend. :/

I just wish he would realize that I won't leave him for anyone, nor will I abuse him in any way. I'm starting a family with *him* and no one else.

Last night he did apologize for the way he acted and said he was out of line, he just gets nervous. It's just stressful because something always has to happen and usually it's when he works with this one guy. He hasn't liked me since he found out I was pregnant and I feel like he's pushing things into his head.

[Aletheia*]

It sounds like this "friend" is the one pushing thoughts into his head. I'm guessing that this friend knows about his past, which is making your boyfriend think these things that aren't true. You just need to keep explaining to him that you aren't his ex-girlfriend, and you won't do anything to hurt him. What's in the past is in the past. You're his future, along with your child.

[leavemealone]

He seems like hes a very controlling person, and if I were you I wouldn't think twice about it, I would get out of there while you still can. I wouldn't want my child being around someone like that. Especially if hes making you feel like this, its so unhealthy and unfair to you! You deserve so much better