His friends...

[namehere1]

So Thanksgiving weekend my family and I went on a vacation. My boyfriend went out with his friends the first night I was gone. They all got drunk and he began to act like a jerk because he wanted to seem big infront of his friends. I got back and we finally made up. Lastnight was the first night since then that he went out. The thing I don't like is his friends like to party. There were drunk girls and the other guys were tryin to get with them. One told him cheating is good for a relationship. Also they joke about me and him. I don't like this. What am I supossed to do?

[theawesomeman]

Well you can't pick his friends for him. What you can do is tell him not to go get drunk with his friends or go where he went. You need to lay down the law and tell him that you don't like it and why. After that he should stop. If he dosen't stop I would threaten to break up with him (whether you actually will or not.) Just tell him that he can go out with his friends but just not to get drunk or treat you like that. Just remember to also say why you don't like it, that might get through to him more.
Good luck.

[Skeleton]

As Jacob said, you can't choose his friends and if they're going to say things like that it's best to ignore him. If he really does like you, then he won't listen to them and will stay faithful to you and not get with other girls like his friends are doing and suggesting. You should also talk to him about it, let him know how it makes you feel when he is out with his friends, acting like a jerk because he wants to see 'big' in front his friends and so on and hopefully he'll realise how he is making you feel and stop.

[Chris.]

I agree with both posters. I would also talk to him and communicate that you don't like the way they talk to you - and you DO trust him and want to let him know that you do trust him. It sounds like you may not trust him fully - which I don't blame you with the circumstances that are presented - but I would communicate with him and tell him you don't mind his friends, and you don't mind that he parties occasionally, but you just don't want to be talked about or have something happen while at one of the parties. I think if you have a heart to heart to him about your worries that maybe he will settle down alittle bit. Like the others said, you cant pick his friends, but you can find ways to tolerate them and atleast acknowledge that they are his friends if you like it or not - just work around these problems and worries and the relationship will be fine.


Best wishes,
Chris

[Aletheia*]

A lot of guys try to do this, play the big & bad roll in front of their friends and then completely turn into a different person when they're with you. My boyfriend is the same way sometimes. It's not fun, but we can't pick & choose who their friends are, and honestly, we CAN'T tell them what they can & cannot do. That's not healthy for a relationship, and frankly, you wouldn't like it if he told you couldn't hang out with so and so, or hang out at such and such a place. It's really not fair, but you can talk to him about it. Communication is important, so let him know how much this hurts you when he acts this way.

[namehere1]

Thank you all. I was trying to explain it nicely but I didn't know exactly what to say. I thought his friends would change him like they did before but we talked about it. I guess I just need to trust him and explain it a little different.

[Chris.]

I'm glad that you feel alot better about this. If you need anymore help or if anything else happens feel free to PM us!

I hope all goes well!


Best wishes,
Chris

[Dervisher]

In reality it's not that cheating is healthy for a relationship, it is just one way many human beings choose as a relief from their everyday commitment to another person.

Is it the right thing to do? No. Do many people do it? Yes.
I have yet to see a relationship that hasn't had at least one person cheat on the other. People can say: "oh well i've been dating jimmy joe for 3 years and it's never happened " and i'll say: "As far as you know." There's a reason I don't like relationships. Every single relationship that's lasted that i've heard of has had one person cheat on the other at least once.

It's pretty much gambling. You can think someone is a good person and they turn out to be two-faced (happens too many times to count).
You can think someone is mentally stable and in 3 months they'll show you all of their medication to keep them somewhat normal.
You can think someone has good morals and in a few years you find out they're a nazi or something.