does age matter??

[HayleeBoo]

does age really matter to you?? like once you turn 16 it's legal to date someone say 20... but why do people look at you like it's wrong to hang out with people say 4 years older than you??

[Iris. ♥]

People are going to judge, no matter what. It's just one of the sad, inborn natures of the human race. Don't worry too much about what other people say about you though. Personally, I don't date people who are my age or younger, but that's just my way of looking at things. A good rule of thumb is to use this little formula. To find out how old of a person you can date, double your age, then subtract 7. To find out how young of a person you can date, cut your age in half and add 7. That's just what I use.

[aloharocker]

I feel like age matters, especially when spanning the teen years because of maturity level. A 16 year old simply doesn't have the maturity as someone in their twenties.

Also, here in the States at least, the drinking age is 21. That makes it really difficult for someone under 21 to date someone who can drink because they hang out in entirely different venues.

[chrisjackson911]

I agree.

People will always judge, the actions you take - or the words your speak, or in this case, the people you hangout with.

In my opinion, is it wrong to hangout with older people? No - but to some extent. I mean, I do think its wrong if you are 16 and hanging out with 30-60 year olds. I think there is a certain limit to hanging out with older and younger people. I think that if you are 16, you should not go higher than 21, and not lower than 13; but once again thats my personal opinion - and everyone will judge it the way they feel or believe it should be.

Now, thats hanging out. But If we turn to the sexual matter - I don't think at age 16 someone should have sex with older than 19 - or younger than 15. BUT - if you are in your 30's I think its okay to have sex with someone 20+.

Again, these are my opinions.

[Melody]

My boyfriend has recently turned 20, and I'm only 16.
Most of my friends (the closer ones) are okay with it, and think he's a great person. Other friends (who I'm not as close with) think its kind of strange.
I don't think age matters to an extent. There are limits, and I agree with many that Chris pointed out. The problem with age gaps is maturity level. It can make it hard for relationships to work out.

[Squiggly]

When you are younger age can matter. Once you are an adult then I don't really think age matter's too much.

[DeadlySin]

To an extent it does. After the age of 18 it hardly matters, because you are legal. It's more people being uncomfortable with the thought of their baby girl dating some older guy. With the potential he is using you for sex, etc. Other than that it really doesn't/shouldn't matter. As long as you aren't 16 and he's not 60.

[Smitten]

Age matters for several factors:

1. Johnny Law
2. Mental maturity level
3. Stigma
4. Life Stages

I think 4 is the least talked about, so I will address that.

When you are 16 +/- a couple years, you are in highschool, everything is dramatized and teens tend to have this "imaginary audience" thing playing for them. Couple that with a "Personal Fable" and you have for alot of S%#T that most older guys don't want to put up with.

Let's talk about getting older -
now you are 18 and just starting college. Say he is 22, 4 years older than you for sake of keeping the same age difference.

He should be finishing his bachelors and either looking forward to Grad School or looking for a career.

Option 1 - grad school. Now he is faced with the reality that going to grad school may take him across the country depending on where he gets in. Grad school is a VERY stressful and rough time in one's life - he would want you to be by his side to support him through it like a "good woman". But... you just started college. So you can't and the relationship will probably fail because resentment will grow out of the distance and stress from school.

Option 2 - He is looking for a job and the job of his dreams is available to him 2 states away. Now you are an anchor and he will either leave you to pursue his dream career or choose to stay because he loves you but end up resenting you for costing him such a great opportunity.

Let's say it works out until you are 20 and him 24.

Now he's done with grad school, you are still in college and he is in the position to be able to pick up and go anywhere in the world that the jobs are.
Again, in this scenario you are an anchor and inhibiting him from achieving his dreams.

The only way I see large age gaps working is in the post-school world.

Once you hit 24+ and are out of school - you are both in the career stage of your life and can move together without anchoring one and other.


Just my 2 cents.

-Smitten

[Zelophobia]

People are going to judge, as someone mentioned. There is no doubt about that. We can't stop people from having an opinion, and age and what people think is right is a huge debatable subject between people.

In my opinion, age doesn't matter once you become a certain age. And, for me, that age is 18, when it is LEGALLY okay to date someone of any age. Now, a 16 and 20 year old dating isn't a huge deal, and even if it were legal, I'd be a little iffy since the couple would be in two different places in their lives. One would still be in high school while the other is in college or even working in their careers already.

[ANBUxAssassin]

age is a number nothing more then that my older brother is married to a 32yr and he only 22 when you love someone with your whole heart not any less then that then age does not matter (age matter for those trying to get rich quick)

[cyndii]

People will judge not matter what age the person. I'm 16 and my boyfriend is 20 and everyone thinks I've lost it...
But if you don't care about age and the person you're with doesn't either then you shouldn't worry about what others say. Just stay true to who you are in the relationship, and don't feel like you have to do anything because of that age difference.

[Megan1]

I'd say that as long as the age difference is legal and your parents are okay with it, it's not a bad thing to date someone older/younger. However, just because it's not bad doesn't mean it won't be hard. If the age difference is very big, you are probably going to be at different levels of maturity and just different places in life. You'll probably hang out with different people and be interested in different things. If you really love each other though, you can get past those things if it's meant to be.

EDIT: I'm pretty sure the age laws apply only for sex, not for if you're just dating.

[George^^]

I don't see a big problem in a small age gap, but being 16 and dating someone whose 50? kind of creepy. I'm 14, and I doubt I'd ever date someone whose almost thirty (at the moment, when I'm almost thirty or in my twenties, I'd think differently)

The oldest person I've ever liked (other than famous people) would have to be about 18-19, but I liked them before they Graduated, so... yea.