Non-PG13: URGENT!!!

[Megg-Killed-The-Prom-King]

I had a guy who i was in love with and he loved me adn we got really really colse we told each other EVERYTHING

I've been having a lot of problems with this guy lately, and we had a massive fall out, and we recently started talking again

he started saying like
"im sorry i fucked everything up"
and i told him that it was okay that i had put it all behind me,
and he kept saying
"im such a fuck up, i dont have anybody any more im a complete fuck up"
and he keeps telling me all of this and he keep saying im the only one he's got.
and i know he has plenty of friends.

I really like him as a friend still but he is starting to bring me down and i keep trying to boost his confidence but he wont listen.

I keep telling myslef i dont have feeling for him, but i do.

When we were close i attempted suicide adn always harmed myself, but i miss him so so much.

fucking hell i just want all this fucked uo shit to end now.

What can i do to help me and him?

[Amber]

It might be a good idea to sit down with him and ask him why he feels like he messed up. There must be something else going on inside his head that is making him feel this way. It also might help if the two of you talked to your school counselor and/or your parents. But it sounds like he needs more help than what you can give him yourself.

If you think it might be a good idea to stop talking to him since he brings you down, you might consider that option as well. I know it might seem hard to just leave after everything but it's not fun being with someone that always has to bring you down.

[Nicole!]

I recently went through something similar with a guy, only we didn't have feelings for each other. One piece of advice I have to offer is if he won't listen to what you say, you need to step it up and just tell him that you don't want to keep saying the same things repeatedly only to have them ignored. Yes, it may seem mean but it can be a good wake up call that he can't just use you as a way to rant forever, that you deserve more. Especially if he is bringing you down.
Remind him what you've told us, that he has lots of friends. What happened is in the past, and you have moved on from it. If things don't change, then it may be best to distance yourself from him. It won't be fun because you have feelings for him, but is it really worth it if he keeps continuing to bring you down?

[Chris.]

I agree with both posters.

I think you need to figure out whats best for you. Put a pro and con list together. Yes, sure, he is important to you - but sometimes our health, our safety, and our happiness needs to come first before we help others. If you feel that in any way he will hurt any of those above mentioned topics, than maybe you need to consider to move on to someone who wont bring you down, and who will love you just as much as you love them.

Your happiness, and your life comes first before anyone else's. You cant save those who don't want to be saved - and you cant make those feel good about themselves with them not believing it. Theres only so much a person can do, so don't strain yourself over things you may not be able accomplish like making him happy or making him feel better. If you have to fight with him, and make yourself stressed out about it - then its not worth the time, or the health concerns (and not to mention drama and loss of happiness) that comes with it.




Best wishes,
Chris