Battle for power within a relationship

[niente_]

I read/heard somewhere that in a relationship the person who acts like they care the least is the one who holds the power.

I've noticed that me and my boyfriend are both as stubborn as each other. We never want to be the first one to send a text message in the morning because we want the other to text us first. We want the other to ask to meet up. We want the other to suggest staying overnight. If one of us says we're going home now, the other will go "fine". Not "aww, don't go." So consequently, we appear annoyed at each other constantly, until one of us gives in a says sorry, then we're good for a few days, until it happens all over again. When things are good, it's really good. When we're being stubborn, it's shit. It seems like we're fighting for power, or trying to prove we care the least. I'm almost wondering if it's beause we're scared the other doesn't feel the same way, so we're trying to show that we don't rely on them so much, or don't need them.

Weird, I know!

Is this battle for power normal in relationships? Or is it a sign that me and him aren't right for each other?

[Nicole!]

I don't think sounding annoyed at each other is normal, usually the couples I know of are very sweet to each other. If it is bothering you, then I would be careful about what you say and just let your feelings come out with your words: show him that you do indeed love him. Maybe then he will join in and you'll both have equal 'power' in this relationship. Rather than act like you love each other the least, you should be trying to show each other you love the most. I'm sure you'll be a lot happier then!

[Koharuchan]

I agree with Nicole. You need to show each other how much you love one another. If you do that, I think you'll be a lot happier in your relationship. Sure, couples argue sometimes, but being stubborn and annoyed with one another all the time isn't good.

[Hollifire]

Having two stubborn people date each other can always be tricky. Always wanting the other one to cave in and text first, or make plans to hang out first is going to cause a lot of arguments as well. I've been here before, always wanting the guy I like or the guy I was dating to do it first to prove that he likes me too, or even likes me more, but then you just end up waiting around and feeling disappointed.

You both obviously care for one another & enjoy dating, but you two both also need to show each other that you can be happy all the time. Communication is important in any relationship, so talk it out with him. Tell him that it doesn't need to be some competition for affection since you both have such strong feelings for one another. Try and discuss ways that you two can be less stubborn & actually have fun and not have to worry about the stressfulness of 'Is he going to text me?', 'Will I hang out with him today?' and so on. I'm sure if you both sit down and talk about how to make your relationship better, then it will happen. Give it a shot (: