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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Marcos Offline
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Need help with a girl - March 6th 2012, 02:49 AM

So, I like this girl a lot. She's really cool and I like hanging out with her. We dated a while during the summer, but she broke up with me . I went to a dance with her and i've been hanging out with her a lot recently because she's really funny, nice, and awesome. The thing is though that she talks about her ex's with me and idk why. She talks about how one of her ex's is dating a hoe or whatever and another keeps texting her and it's really confusing me. Is she trying to make me jealous or something?
   
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Re: Need help with a girl - March 6th 2012, 03:42 AM

Usually when a girl did something like that there could be two possibilities, either she felt like you're her good friend and a good listener who she can comfortably talk to about her personal matter or somehow she likes you and tried to see your responses or reactions after she told you all about her ex boyfriends.
If your case is the latter, then I don't think she actually wanted to make you jealous, she's just trying to make you spit out your feelings for her as maybe she didn't know how to but only that way.
If you really felt jealous after you heard all that she told you about the ex, I suggest you talk to her about how you feel. Don't just keep it in your heart and confuse yourself. It's just never good to wonder about things that you're not even sure of the answer.
Did you ever asked her how she feels about her ex boyfriends? Maybe you should ask her whether she still wishes to be with any of them or not and then you can decide your next move whether or not you want to date her again like you used to and get into a more serious relationship with her. Good luck!


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Re: Need help with a girl - March 6th 2012, 10:36 AM

Two things I'm taking from this:
  • 1. She's comfortable with you. That doesn't mean she's trying to make you jealous. It just means she feels comfortable enough AROUND you that she can be open and talk to you fairly, like she would any other friend.
  • 2. She's doing this to make you jealous.

In my opinion, I'm going with number 1. She has no reason to make you jealous. She ended the relationship, you didn't. She is probably considering you a close friend, and remember, you're one of those ex's that continues to speak with her, and you're probably one of those ex's she talks about (to other friends, obviously).

Don't think too much into it. I just think you've been friend-zoned.











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Re: Need help with a girl - March 8th 2012, 12:53 AM

ok thanks for your help . I've just never had any girl really talk about their ex's to me. new experience for me
   
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Re: Need help with a girl - March 8th 2012, 02:56 AM

Marcos, old saying: "Beware those who talk of their exes too much". This is the sequel to "You cannot pick up a new book until you put the old one down".

People talk about their exes too much (that is, when it's not really asked by you, nor does it quite seem appropriate to the situation) largely because they're not over them, they still have some feelings either about them, or the break up, or something. It's on their mind. And, if it's THAT preoccupying that they bring it up unexpectedly or in an unwanted way, then they can't really attend to the relationship with you.

I say, you ask her why she's bringing this up, and if it feels uncomfortable when she does, nicely ask her not to. She might still need to re read a few chapters of that last book before she's ready for a new one, and nothing you say or do is going to change that anyways. So, you might as well clear the air and find out early on if she's ready or not.

Also, as an FYI, people who bring old stuff up with the intention of making you jealous deserve the big KO. That's not the way to make you want them or like them or appreciate them more. If anything it usually has the opposite effect.
   
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Re: Need help with a girl - March 8th 2012, 03:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zelophobia View Post
Don't think too much into it. I just think you've been friend-zoned.
Totally agree with this.


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