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Kindred Offline
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Name: Eyeliner Failure
Gender: Female
Location: Summoners Rift

Posts: 1,910
Blog Entries: 64
Join Date: March 20th 2012

Re: Can't stop thinking about throwing up - March 6th 2013, 09:51 PM

Hey,

I wish I was, but unfortunately I ain't a doctor, therefore can't diagnose you with anything. But, I know a lot about eating disorders because, well, I've had one, and I read a lot, and talked a lot to people, and basically absorbed information like a sponge.

So, from my very unprofessional but educated view, yes it looks like you have a problem. There should be no criteria for eating disorders other than a disordered view of food. However, medical professionals are often idiots and try to box everyone into specific names and criterias and just ugh. Basically, if you're struggling with food, which you are, you need help and things need to change.

The thing is though, we can fix this. This isn't something over which you have to just accept your fate and carry on your merry way. You can pick the ending to this story. One way ends in death, misery, loneliness and depression. The other, light, life, happiness and humanity. You choose. Oh god I wish it was as simple as that, it's not I know but ultimately it is. Ultimately you're gonna have to make the decision to stop this because it's gonna tear you apart, literally, inside and out. Your heart can just stop at any random moment, your blood pressure can just drop, your whole body can literally give up at any second. And this isn't something that happens when you're "skinnnnnnnnnnnnnny", it can happen anytime you aren't eating enough and engaging in self destructive behaviors like fasting and throwing up. I would list the things I've done to my body if I wasn't so goddamn embarrassed because it's disgusting. I won't even tell my own boyfriend, who is my life, some of the things that happen to me, like spitting up random bits of food, feeling nauseous yet still being forced to eat, shitting, for Christs' sake, will never be the same again, my teeth are disgusting, my mouth is disgusting, my eyes are bloodshot and HURT, my legs, stomach, asshole, stomach lining and throat lining are all scarred...it's just not worth it. Seriously. If I could I'd undo all the shiz I've done in the past few years but I CAN'T. Please don't make that decision. Stop this, get help, get out while you can. This isn't something you want to fall into.

I don't think I've ever written a more heartfelt and embarrassing reply in my life Well that helped me vent slightly, hope it slightly helped you. xD



Take as long as you need.