[mindflower]

So frustrated with myself. I can't multitask worth shit, especially on stage with a puppet on my left hard, my right hand controlling the arms with fucking wire rods, and my fingers opening and closing her mouth just perfectly, all while singing and dancing and walking around. I can't fucking do anything right! Fucking.. ADD...
My grades are shit. No, shit isn't even a good word for how bad my grades are.
I want to drink myself to the bottom of the ocean, just... smoke away the bad thoughts and visions and see things in a blur, see the walls melting for a logic, drunk reason.
I know, I'm 15, I don't even care.
Feel so reckless.... so reckless.... danger to myself....
Getting pretty fat, I wanna be pretty like them....
I'm really fucked up, I know.
Cut... wanna cut my arms to shreds...
I wanna be something... better than this... I'm just.... nothing.