[malikslover]

Last night I had a really weird dream, like, it was really weird. And a lot of the things I dream happen in real life not too long after I dream them. Anyways, lemme explain. And there was a LOT of bad words so I'm gonna censor those.

So it started off, me and my mom were fighting about something and she was yelling about how I was trying to get attention for myself by being depressed and staying in my room most of my days. I got so pissed off and pulled up my sleeve, revealing my scars to her yelling "Do you see what your words f-ing do to me? They make me do this! And I can't f-ing stop it because I'm a pathetic bit** and I can't stand breathing or doing anything in public because I know I'll be judged. And you haven't noticed because you're so f-ing busy with your work and talking to your dumb-as* boyfriend!"
And of course I was crying by now. And she started yelling something then all of a sudden I was cut off and I was in this line to a mental hospital. And I saw my ex there and it was quite awkward. And then she registered me into this program for my self-harm issues and left me. Then I went in and bo one really came up to kinda show me around so I wondered until I was pushed into a room where I cried. My scars showed and all of my bracelets disappeared. I was in my room alone and I had the need to cut but I know I couldn't or else I'd get in trouble.

It's blurry from there but it just freaked me out. I don't know if this means something or what. If anyone knows what this means or what they think that'd be amazing. I was actually quite startled when I woke up, which was at 4:30 in the afternoon. And no I'm not seeing a therapist or anything. I used to go to a counselor but that made it 5 times worse. And no, my mom doesn't know I self-harm.