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Originally Posted by .:BreakingBeautifully:.
Hey there,
The first thing to remember is that break ups take time to get over. I know that sucks to hear but you have to give yourself time to heal from everything that has occurred. You two were together for two years and you came to love one another and those feelings aren't just going to go away. That is okay, you know? You just have to give yourself the proper time to grieve for the loss of this relationship.
I think it is great that you are trying to get out there and hang out with friends. I am sorry that they haven't been responding in the proper way. Is there anyone else you can reach out to such as people from work? It might be hard to do but maybe if you tried reaching out to some of your colleagues from work you could make friends that way and find people to hang out with. You might also try talking to some of your friends again and initiate a hang out date; invite them to come hang out at your place or to go to a movie or do something like that and see what happens. Another great source to turn to for support during this time would be family. I don't know how close you are to your own family but remember that your parents and other relatives can probably relate to what you are going through and would probably love nothing more than to support you through this tough time. Are you still going to college? If so do you think when you get back you could try joining a club or something like that? That might be a great way to make some more friends and to keep yourself busy.
What are some activities you like to participate in? Try making a list of things you could do to keep yourself busy and then try and do them. It might take you a while to come up with ideas but it will happen. I think it is definitely important that you try and get out of the house as much as possible. Do you like exercising? Something that might help is if you tried getting out and exercising 30 minutes a day. I have heard that exercise is good for depression so maybe it would help you.
I really hope that this helped and please know that this can and will get better.
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Hey thanks for the reply
I do IT work for a company and they're all like 30 yrs old + so there isn't really anyone that I could relate to unfortunately.. As for friends, in high school I had a lot of school friends that were basically my friend when we could talk to each other a lot because we were in the same class but if the next semester we weren't in the same class we'd just never talk again - it seems weird but it seemed to be how it was for everyone at my school. Then in the end of grade 9 parties started happening. my brother has had problems with drugs and alcohol and he's only a year older so when we were in high school everyone knew me as my brothers brother, never me for me. Because of this I saw him as my role model of how NOT to be. I decided since grade 8 that I would not drink or do drugs ever. So friends would ask me to go to a party but I would stupidly say I don't drink so I don't want to go and they just stopped asking me if I wanted to after a while.
By the time I was done high school I had lost basically every friend I had because everyone would get closer through hanging out at parties and other things that I'd miss out on while I'd be the nobody who's at home playing games. I still had some friends that I have today but eventually other people that they became friends with through the events I missed took over my spot as being a really good friend because they simply hung out with them more. My "childish" idea of hanging out in person and not drinking became lame and boring so no one wanted to hang out with me very often at all. This summer I've seen friends maybe 10 times and its always me who has to put all the effort out to have it happen so I get depressed and say why bother? It feels too forced when they come over and I feel like I'm their little cousin that annoys them but they're being told by their mom that its not very often so just deal with it.
I took up painting but I'm not very good at it and I started painting with my now ex so whenever I bring my paintbrushes out it reminds me of her and I can't handle it. I play video games a lot usually and I had the new Xbox preordered and I have a gaming
PC that I built but with all this happening I just can't play anything.
I just feel immature and I want to get out there and meet different people. Clubs or whatever at college won't help because I have really strong anxiety and the only ones I would think of being a part of would be ones I like but then I'd be meeting people like me which is exactly what I don't want to do anymore. I could meet 100s of nerds like me but that makes me for anxious and more secluded.
EDIT: my family is helping to the best of their ability- they're very supportive but they don't understand where I'm coming from. I yelled at my mom today while she tried to help because when I got to my room after going out to try to feel better I thought about my ex and started crying. She came and sad next to me and wanted me to lean on her but in that moment before I did she made me feel like I was 5 yrs old and I had a bad day or something. I told her I didn't want her help because she makes me feel useless because my dad and mom just keep doing their usual strategy of making it sound like they want to do something with me. For example every once and a while I want to have like a family game night but no one ever wants to...well now that I'm feeling shitty they keep saying "hey I want to play a game with you!" But it just makes me feel shittier because they're only saying that because they feel bad for me and the fact that the only people that will do that for me are my parents makes me feel friendless and lonely again. I understand having nice parents Is a gift but I just don't want to have mommy and daddy there to help me out all the time