[Desiretobehappy]

I have had a battle with Anorexia since I was 11 and I'm trying my best to seek help now before it gets out of hand. I developed an eating disorder a few years back from the cause of being bullied about my appearance and weight. It got to the point where I wasn't accepted in at my school for being "fat" a couple weeks later I became anorexic and I just simply stopped putting food in my mouth. This went ongoing for approximately 10 months. I dropped EDITED and was admitted into a hospital that specializes eating disorders. I spent my whole summer being hospitalized for being EDITED . I was forced to eat against my will. Since then I have gained EDITED and I am honestly not happy about myself at all. I'm trying to eat and stay healthy. But it's too hard to look at my body with all this fat. My anorexia has come back and I have skipped meals on and off for 4 months already and I'm tired of having my life revolve around my weight. I just want my body image disorder to go away. I'm trying so hard to keep in control. It has taken its turn for the worst this time around. I'm starting to have suicidal thoughts and attempts, cutting, binging, and purging this summer and I hate myself for what I've become. Nobody understands what I'm going through or even cares and I feel so worthless. I have nobody to talk to so this is basically why I made an account if someone could just give me advice on what I should do it'll mean the entire world to me. xoxo