[Kate*]

I am not your job, I put myself in every aspect of this mess, and there's nothing you can do so I can never tell you this, but:

Something is wrong and for once I don't know what it is.

I am so close to this being over I can feel it collapsing on me and the strongest adjective I have for terrified doesn't even come close to describing how scared I am.

I need help, can you please help me? I'd trust you with everything if it didn't mean signing my own walking papers for my future. I've always manged to pull it off, so I'll probably be fine.

And when I tell you I'm fine, I mean the opposite. The fact that I can tell you the honest truth means something, please don't give up on me. If you give up on me or become the latest in a countless line of people to tell me that my best isn't good enough, not only is my life over, but the depression wins.

I want to walk into your office and have you tell me that everything is going to be okay, but I know you can't do that; as much as you want to, and it's my fault.